I have recently moved to a new city and I’m making new friends. I’m a lesbian so I have joined a couple of LGBT groups which have another focus, something like lesbian choir but it’s not a choir. There is a very recently out transwoman in one of my groups. We got along reasonably well at not-choir when we were busy with the activity, so we ended up killing a couple of hours together in an industrial park while we were waiting for everyone else to finish at a one-off event. Since the event, this person has now decided to peruse a friendship with me which I’m not especially interested in. A lot of the conversations we had while waiting together were about transitioning and being trans, which I found boring. When I tried to change the subject, I was totally unsuccessful.
In the weeks since then, they’ve sent me loads of WhatsApp messages asking for my opinion on things and to meet up again. I’ve already made it clear I’m not dating because I had a recent bereavement, so it’s only a friendship attempt I’m trying to squash. But I’ve been invasive, noncommittal and extremely sarcastic with no success. I still get very frequent WhatsApp messages and requests to meet up after several weeks of gently backing away.
I feel like I have also been pushed into the role of being the “feminine friend”, so I’ve had questions about fashion and makeup coming my way even though I’m extremely disinterested in that kind of thing. We did spend some time looking around a big ASDA including at the clothing and makeup when we were waiting, so it might have started as a genuine belief that this was something I’d be interested in. But I’ve made it clear since then that I’m not interested and they reply with things like “but you’re so good at it, couldn’t you just take a look.” And we also looked around pets at home and I haven’t had any questions about reptiles or aquariums which I actually know something about.
I am considering just being very direct about my GC views because I’m sure that would be the end of it, but it would also get me kicked out of not-choir I expect. So I’m wondering if I should just accept that is a consequence, or find another way to put off the friendship attempts.