How publicly GC should I be?

Time for the Mumsnet mantra: "No." is a complete sentence. Don't justify any rejection.

Also don't answer a few messages positively, because that will give them hope you might respond positively more often. Either ignore or outright reject.

This really is nothing to do with trans and everything to do with simply not having anything in common with the other person.

If this person thinks that being a woman is all about long girly chats about clothes and makeup, being told that you don't want to do that with them could easily lead to it being seen as not accepting them as a woman.

If you’re worried, you could carefully try to distance yourself and be an acquaintance rather than a friend. I know you’ve tried to do this with little success but I’d personally go with this tack and keep on with it. The message will eventually get through eg if you’re asked to go shopping on Saturday, reply “Sorry - I’m out with my friends” (with the subtle implication this person is not a close friend to you). If another day is suggested by them, then say you’re very busy, you enjoyed speaking with them before but you have a busy life so can’t really meet up, however you look forward to seeing them at ‘not-choir’.

I know it’s tedious when people try to push friendships that you have no interest in, but whether they’re trans or not, I think a polite but distancing way is best. That’s not in case you’re accused of ‘transphobia’ but just because I don’t think you need to be cruel to dissuade an unwanted friend.

OP are you worried that if you make it clear to this person that you don’t want to be friends with them, that they will say it’s because you’re transphobic and you worry that you will be pushed out of the LGBT social groups you’ve joined?

Yes that's what I got, not sure why people think her GC views aren't relevant either to the situation or how she feels about this particular male. But I do agree it's possible to ignore or give a brush off without getting into that.

OP are you worried that if you make it clear to this person that you don’t want to be friends with them, that they will say it’s because you’re transphobic and you worry that you will be pushed out of the LGBT social groups you’ve joined?

Just mute them on social media. You don’t owe them your attention.

This person is not your responsibility and you're not obligated to talk to them. Clearly you're not transphobic and it's social conditioning to even consider that. PP advice: "say that you're not interested in a friendship because it's become clear you have very different interests", mute, block and don't give it another thought.

What @Debroglie said. You have nothing in common with this person, tell them this politely then block them. You owe them nothing.

Just message- I don’t think we have anything in common. Please stop contacting me.
Then mute. Don’t waste any more time on this person.

Do exactly the same as you would with any other male bothering you, don't be polite just block and ignore.

Just say no.

This person asks to meet, you answer NO.

Why give them a reason to think that you don't want to be friends because they are Trans rather than the truth; which is you find their interests boring as hell and are annoyed by their incessant hounding of you (who messages a new acquaintance nearly every day FFS?).

Being GC isn't a barrier to being friends with Trans people unless either party chooses it to be.

I'm GC and have trans people in my social orbit. Some believe sex matters, others don't.

I'm happy to respect other peoples views as long as they reciprocate wrt mine even when we disagree (same came be said of politics, religion etc).

Using your GC views as a "nuclear" option doesn't serve any purpose here other that to give someone the perception that their gender identity is the sole reason you don't want to spend time with them - which would be transphobic if true and simply gives grist to the mill that anyone with GC views is bigoted, rather than a person with a valid opinion.

If you are genuinely GC then this isn't a road you should want to go down.

Just deal with the situation as you would if you removed the trans/GC element from the equation.

Keep distancing yourself and if necessary mute/block this person on SM/messaging. Better still be blunt and simply say that you're not interested in a friendship because it's become clear you have very different interests.

You're just not into developing a friendship with this person. You don't have to oblige. Thanks, but no thanks. It'll peter out sooner than you think. Being slow to respond is a helpful technique.
Your GC views do not appear to be the reason why this person is of no interest to you, so don't go there. Being GC doesn't mean you cannot have friendships with trans people or care about trans family members.

You have nothing in common and they are hopeless at picking up your unfriendly signals. Be even less friendly, stop answering the messages or answer very briefly and less often and give the brush off. Don't bring world view into it because I think it's not relevant. This is more of a social dilemma.

Don’t need to say anything bout your views just mute

Mute. Simple as that

The reason I don’t want to be friends is because I find their company quite boring. I’m not interested in conversations about makeup, fashion or being trans

Surely this would be the same if all they talked about was bowling and you weren't interested?

Just don't respond to the messages and don't agree to do things you don't feel comfortable with.

You don't owe anyone friendship, and if they continue being pushy, I'd just tell them outright - not that you're GC, just that you're not interested in a friendship outside the group setting.

I had a similar issue once and told the person I found the constant hair, make up and nails chat “triggering but I don’t feel comfortable talking about it” and they ran away.

Yes, don't reply to 90% of messages. If you feel you have to reply, tell them how busy you are with work/decorating/your new hobby of learning Serbo-Croat. They will give up in the end.

Are you quite young OP? There is no onus on anyone to read, not to mind reply to, WhatsApp messages. You can mute/ignore. The reason I ask if you are young is I’ve noticed younger people are more likely to feel obliged to acknowledge and reply instantly to electronic comms. Just ignore the messages if the person has not taken the hint. They’ll soon tire of it. If they mention their unanswered messages in person just say you dont have time. You don’t need to discuss politics and/or your GC views, and I agree with the previous posters that it’s not relevant. This person sounds highly irritating and isn’t respecting your boundaries, you owe them nothing.

Have you said the words 'I'm sorry but I'm really not interested in clothes or beauty stuff. Please can we talk about something else?' That would be first stage nuclear, for me. GC is like stage 5 or something on my scale of social destruction (unless its at FILIA, in which case its like Oh Hai )...

I think gender ideology is tangential to this situation, at best.

Why on earth are you responding? I have a reputation for being crap at social media, carefully cultivated, so I can shrug people off easily. Just don't reply if you're not interested; if asked about it later. I was going to reply but I'm actually really busy. Or more bluntly I just couldn't be bothered not keen on whatsapp if you need to soften the blow.