Great. Son now says he’s trans.

The other thing to remember that a huge majority of those that think they are trans will desist once they are a bit older and get non affirming help( about 85%) some of the others who go further will detransition , so there is not a lot of evidence that you will have to deal with this for ever. Most of feel that we would not be doing our parental job properly if we 1) reject our children 2) believe and affirm everything they might feel or say at a particularly confusing time for most teenagers.good luck. You are definitely not alone. Take no notice of those that have their own agenda.

So, hopefully all the scolds will take note that the OP is using the pronouns her children prefer.

And apologise. Yes?

Yes he abuses women onstage and then uses Robin's charity for abused women to 'clear' him of any accusations of misogyny.😡 I was still shocked at the difference in his 'professional opinion' between the blinded woman and the girl who thought she should be a boy. He couldn't see the connection because he is paid not to see it.

I’d ask lots of gentle questions and listen. Why have things changed in the last week? Has he been discussing this with anyone else online or in his peer group? How does he think his life would be different ‘living as a girl’? Is there anything bothering him at home or at school? Is it related to his non-binary sibling?

If I think back to my teens, there was a lot about myself that I thought I knew but in fact I was still learning. I’d also say that even when I was a teen there was a lot of pressure but that’s increased a hundred-fold now.

@dangermouseisace

I posted on a guest post earlier today about my own experience with my two sons that claim to be trans. In my case, it was entirely led by pornography and online grooming. It has a very bad ending for us and my son is now in his early twenties with a conviction for sex offences. I'm on my phone so can't find it right note but if you search my name you should find it. It's destroyed our family.

And before the liberals come out saying I'm blaming trans people, that's absolutely not what I'm doing. My son was groomed on the internet and will pay the price for the rest of his life. Adult men that "felt" female groomed him from a very young age for their own validation and now my family is in tatters and wet may never recover from this.

Where do you think the idea has come from OP? Are there a lot of trans identifying children at the school? Or is it the internet? If so, how easy would it be to remove all devices?

My feeling is, and I'm going to ignore anyone who shoots me down on this one...

...during the pandemic fifty per cent or more of us have had mental healht issues of one kind or another, fleeting or temporary...

fifty per cent of young people have had them or are having them.

A totally normal part of adolescence has always been the search for identity as many psychologists will understand.

A young persons identity often changes throughout adolescence.

The OP sounds like a very tolerant mother and I feel for her.

I also understand that she is very nuturing of her kids rights to define themselves as they wish going forward.

As a contrast, (and I've said this to my own DD when she had similar struggles)

I know of one parent (who is not my friend I might add) who told her daughter that if she defined herself as a lesbian she would burn in hell...

The OP is not that kind of parent, but sounds stressed, and it is not surprising as we are stil in the middle of a pandemmic and in some ways, sexuality is the last thing on a parents mind right now..

First and foremost concerned with making ends meet, creating a home.

Where is the discussion about this MOTHER'S identity, wellbeing and her freedom to express her own sexuality as she sees fit?

Some of these posts are mother blaming par excellence.

Hang in there OP you are doing great.

@BloodinGutters I remember watching an episode of Dr Phil once where a women had an intense feeling that she was supposed to be blind...she identified as blind! She poured a toxic substance into her eyes to bring about blindness and on the show everyone, including Dr Phil, was completely shocked. They couldn't agree with her actions and he was clear it was a mental health issue.

Some weeks later, a family came on who were struggling with their daughter insisting she should be a boy. The family was fractured, with lots of hostility and aggression. Dr Phil made no mention of these possible causes as to why the girl felt the way she did...he actually affirmed her delusion and referred to her as he!

My own thoughts are many, many people who affirm children's immature decisions and delusions are either doing it to be seen as 'understanding' with no regard for who they affect, or they are taking pleasure in the abuse of children and the breakdown of the family. The result is the same.

@ElliottSmithsfingers
🤣. How eloquently put!

I think the pronouns are the least of ops worries right now. Why are some people so keen to ignore ops valid concerns about her child and focus only on pronouns.

I’m shocked, shocked I tell you that our resident “you big meanies/beeee kiiind/they just want to pee” have appeared on this thread rather than any of the ones around e.g. men in womens prisons or sport or woman’s right to centre themselves in campaigns against make violence

If their kids came home claiming to be transdisabled would they be rushing to affirm them also. A trip to the doctors to schedule leg amputation.

And how insulting to those of us who are disabled, who had no choice in the matter and yet still have to live with the reality day in day out.

Not always. My neighbour refers to her trans daughter and she/her when we are in a group conversation over the fence, with the daughter present.

Seems rather performative. It’s pretty rude to say he/she when the individual is standing there

I have to say, I find the three posters on this thread who would happily lie to a child, twist their immature minds and feed their delusion/social contagion, and set them on a horrific pathway of drugs and surgery based on their lies and sick societal stereotypes, to be absolutely disgusting and culpable in the abuse of children.

Watch TT Exulansic on YouTube, find the relevant bits and use when appropriate with your child.

@CrazyCatLazy @DisgustedofManchester

You do realise most decent parents will never disown their child or reject them for what they are? Trans or not trans.

I’d bet money on the OP being one such caring parent.

Caring parents do not unquestioningly accept everything their children say or give in to their every demand. Especially not if doing so could lead to a lifetime of medical intervention and health risks.

I think you are right to look at counseling first op. Your child may be trans. And they may not be. It's far more sensible to explore non intrusive options before moving down a medical pathway from which there is no return.