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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Great. Son now says he’s trans.

215 replies

dangermouseisace · 23/10/2021 17:08

I am doing my best non judgemental listening but oh my god.

Middle child is “non binary”. Eldest today says the reason he’s not eating properly and why he was unhappy 4 years ago is because he’ll never be happy as a man, and he wants hormones surgery the lot.

I have been clear about my opinion re gender throughout their lives. I am glad they feel able to speak to me but I don’t know what to do. I’ve said I’ll book him a dr’s appointment, and suggested counselling. I feel it’s a case of too much internet but it’s hard to control that- they find old devices if you put restrictions on, and everything works off the internet these days.

My children clearly have their struggles but I feel a failure as a mother as I don’t feel strong enough to deal with them. I’ve already had time off work with stress this week. I feel I just cannot cope with anything any more. What the hell can I do?

OP posts:
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KittyLeMew · 24/01/2022 20:44

Thanks @AgeOfReason99 for that comprehensive list of support organisations and inspiration for who to donate to next Star

IntermittentParps · 24/01/2022 13:49

@YearsSinceISawYou

John. You are a boy. Jane you are a girl. You might be gay, that's fine.

You cannot change sex or species.

Get on with life.

I am puzzled that someone would refuse to engage at all with discussions of gender in the sense that most people on this thread understand it –the wide sense of how gender roles are stereotyped etc.

If a boy asks 'why do my friends laugh if I say I want to play with Barbie?' or a girl asks why there's no rugby team for her at school, why (how) would you not discuss that? Confused

MrBlobbyLivesNextDoor · 24/01/2022 12:28

That's good news that the deadline been extended. Plenty of time to make people aware of it. This is so important. I'll take a look at transgender trend.

OhHolyJesus · 24/01/2022 11:36

@MrBlobbyLivesNextDoor

That's great HolyJesus. Thats an informative video too. Our poor children. Thanks for posting. I'll share that with my work colleagues as well. And also use it to submit a response to the government consultation. Thank you 👍
No worries Mr B, the deadline was extended until 4th Feb so there's still time.

Transgender Trend have some great advice on how to complete the survey if it helps.

atee · 24/01/2022 11:34

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MrBlobbyLivesNextDoor · 24/01/2022 11:32

That's great HolyJesus. Thats an informative video too. Our poor children. Thanks for posting. I'll share that with my work colleagues as well. And also use it to submit a response to the government consultation. Thank you 👍

OhHolyJesus · 24/01/2022 10:39

What a great list @AgeOfReason99 - that will be useful as I prepare to submit my response to the government consultation for conversion therapy.

So will this

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House - short film www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4456148-the-call-is-coming-from-inside-the-house-short-film

MrBlobbyLivesNextDoor · 24/01/2022 07:53

AgeOfReason99. What a great set of resources all in one place. This will be so helpful for my job. I'm going to make a note of those and pass them round to colleagues. Thanks so much for bumping this old thread and helping kids get the right support, instead of just reaffirming support. terfsarewrong.

Oblomov22 · 24/01/2022 03:54

Glad I read this thread. A few posters back someone explained that practically all GP's and counsellors are now being told to be affirmational. I didn't know this. This change is subtle, but very toxic and I only see this as bad.

Also that the old reports and medical investigations are now outdated, because this new trans phenomenon which is all the rage / trend, is slightly different to the old one, so atm they don't have any data on how successful it is, how many will de-transition.

AgeOfReason99 · 24/01/2022 03:52

Trans activists - you will not win arguments here. Just give up in this forum. There are thousands of smart women here.

AgeOfReason99 · 24/01/2022 03:47

Commiserations. See the following links. GDSN has group support:
Genspect genspect.org/
Gender Dysphoria Support Network (GDSN) genderdysphoriasupportnetwork.com/
Gender: A Wider Lens podcast gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/
Transgender Trend www.transgendertrend.com/
Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Transgender pitt.substack.com/
Partners for Ethical Care www.partnersforethicalcare.com/
Society for Evidence-based Gender Medicine (SEGM) segm.org/
Stats for Gender www.statsforgender.org/
Bayswater bayswatersupport.org.uk/
Gender Dysphoria Alliance www.genderdysphoriaalliance.com/
TReVoices www.trevoices.org/
Parents of ROGD kids www.parentsofrogdkids.com/
Post trans post-trans.com/
Detrans Voices www.detransvoices.org/about/
Gender Health Query www.genderhq.org/

terfsarewrong · 24/01/2022 02:56

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terfsarewrong · 24/01/2022 02:55

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terfsarewrong · 24/01/2022 02:53

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WarriorN · 26/10/2021 08:19

They are about wishing trans people out of existence.

No.

The people on this board want what now even the surgeon who operated on Jazz Jennings now says, to be rigorously assessed and hard fast safeguarding practises to be in place.

Bowers, a TW, now says that PBs are inappropriate, partly as they deny a male patient the ability to ever orgasm as an adult and that media influences do affect young teens, especially females, and can therefore lead to mistake making.

ANewCreation · 25/10/2021 23:34

I have just watched this interview with Dr Az Hakeem and then with Sinead Watson and thought you may find it interesting too, OP. It makes very clear the dangers of an affirmation only model, particularly as Sinead gets to tell her story too with passion and fury.

The idea that the ROGD stuff is a youth sub-culture - effectively Goth: Mark 6 - which we are now trying to medicalise, whereas before teen identities were all music based, I thought very plausible.

Helleofabore · 25/10/2021 23:28

@thedancingbear

Well, it's fairly clear from this thread that a least a minority of 'GC' posters on this board aren't about preserving the definition of 'female' at all.

They are about wishing trans people out of existence.

As I say, I only believe it to be a minority of posters who hold this view, but it is pretty revealing, isn't it?

Another nice bit of deflective and distractive hyperbole here.

Please do point out exactly where anyone has ‘wished’ this.

I suspect it is merely another attempt to aim a pointy finger of shame at posters stating people cannot change sex and that the words woman and man have not been given new meanings and still relate purely to the sex class of sexually mature humans.

TambourineofRighteousness · 25/10/2021 20:01

@thedancingbear

Well, it's fairly clear from this thread that a least a minority of 'GC' posters on this board aren't about preserving the definition of 'female' at all.

They are about wishing trans people out of existence.

As I say, I only believe it to be a minority of posters who hold this view, but it is pretty revealing, isn't it?

Which posters?
RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 25/10/2021 20:00

Oh and while im here…and yes i do realise the utter futility of this next question

Any evidence margaritapie ?

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 25/10/2021 19:57

thedancingbear

Which posters said that?

BatmansBat · 25/10/2021 17:05

Who is wishing trans people out of existence? That sounds like awful transphobia and should be reported.

People here are suggesting that some children and teenagers are still finding their way. They are warning against them going down an irreversible path (which includes puberty blockers) without thorough investigation and evaluation.

Posters here are further stating that there is a conflict of interests between gay people who believe that a lesbian is a biological women who likes vaginas and not penis. TRAs think that a lesbian should fancy all people who declare themselves to be women even if they have a penis. There are some awful threats on Twitter towards lesbians who do not comply.

Women here further have safeguarding concerns about biological males in spaces where females are vulnerable (prisons, hospital wards, toilets). There have been some instances of rape (boy in a skirt in girls toilet, transwoman assaulting a 10-year old girl in a toilet, rape by a transwoman in prison), sexual assault (hospital wards and prisons).

Women here look at research showing that transwomen offend at the rate of other males. Is it 98% of sex offenders which are male?

Women here also state that it is impossible to tell dysphoric transwomen from men trying to claim to be trans to assault women and girls.

TRAs claim that all these risks and assaults are something we should live with to make life better for transwomen.

Note: I am saying transwomen all through here. All feminist posters are happy for transmen to be in female spaces. They also support third spaces.

Most posters here also wish transwomen all happiness and long successful lives.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 25/10/2021 16:46

No one. Just the usual hyperbole.

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 25/10/2021 16:45

@Zebradanio

Wishing trans people out of existence? Who said that?
Yes don’t remember seeing that but the threads do move fast so maybe i missed it

Plus ive a dreadful habit of forgetting to refresh

Ereshkigalangcleg · 25/10/2021 16:44

Well, it's fairly clear from this thread that a least a minority of 'GC' posters on this board aren't about preserving the definition of 'female' at all.

They are about wishing trans people out of existence.

In what sense? Please elaborate.

Zebradanio · 25/10/2021 16:44

Wishing trans people out of existence? Who said that?