Really fucking annoyed by another entitled man

Can you track his phone number on the calls log? I would contact your colleagues who deal with volunteers to warn them regardless and pass on the number if you manage to get hold of it. Even if you can't track his number It is likely they don't get many men who want to volunteer on a maternity ward and they should be able to narrow who that idiot is so they can reject his application. He sounds creepy as hell.

I would have hung up on the creep

This boils my blood, as do the 'you are all meanies and man-haters, never mind about the concerns of women, what about about the ruffled feelings of the men?' handmaidens who invariably pipe up on threads like this.

This isn't a red flag. It's a Carter siren with flashing red lights and bells on it. And the problem isn't that he's male. It's the fact that belongs to that particular variety of male species which shouts women down, talks over them, gets upset and uptight when they don't capitulate to their immediate demands, and, most worryingly of all, conveys an aggressive instance, smacking very much of desperation, to be on that ward with immobile and vulnerable women and babies RIGHT NOW. Why? Is the world is going to end because an application takes time to go through the process? What's the need for the urgent hurry?

This isn't misandry. It's a straightforward safeguarding concern. And any woman with her wits about her or the smallest experience or comprehension of these matters can see it coming from a mile away.

Before someone pops along with the wild deviation from the point that is NAMALT, statistically, it's woman who are at risk of harm from men and not the other way round. That's not a matter of personal opinion, but unassailable fact. So screw your 'what about the men?' defence, or immediate assumption that it's male volunteers per se who are being objected to here rather than the worrying behaviour of this male in particular.

This shit is getting seriously wearisome on this site.

I would really hope that he wouldn't be allowed anywhere any oatients at all. He could bottle wash in the visitors' canteen though.

Did anything happen op?

No way should this man be accepted as a volunteer in any capacity, and certainly not on a maternity ward.

And any decent man should be able to understand why women might feel uncomfortable with his presence on a maternity ward, and therefore be willing to volunteer elsewhere. I am sure there are plenty of male wards where the men there would really appreciate having a friendly volunteer of their own sex on board to help them out.

One of the men was asking an older lady ‘who would be looking after her when she went home?’ and trying to get her to give him her phone number.

That's really concerning - many of those people's houses will also be unoccupied while they're in hospital, and even though the volunteers obviously shouldn't be looking through a patient's notes, it's not hard to see their address on most pages of their file - and what staff member has time to keep track whose eyes are looking where on a busy ward that is so understaffed they rely on volunteers in the first place?

Not sure of anyone has mentioned this, but please PLEASE record this incident on DATIX.

There's no way any man should be a volunteer on a postpartum ward. Single sex exemption, etc. No way. It's bad enough coming across other women's partners.

Isn't it interesting how so many women are instantly uncomfortable at the thought of (non-professional) men being randomly present in this uniquely vulnerable situation.

It's almost as though those who aren't women have no fucking clue, isn't it?

Are men allowed to volunteer on maternaty wards?
Tbh I would have rather thought they shoulden't.

Wow, blimy. Id allert security.

@PurgatoryOfPotholes. My very first post said that the op should report the guy to the volunteer office because no one wants to work with someone who's rude. So I rather think your whole post is redundant.

MadisonBridges

Would you bother making excuses if this man had applied for a paid role at McDonalds and had phoned to chase up his application with the same attitude?

I have done voluntary work in other sectors and I wouldn't dream of speaking to a member of staff employed by a charity in this way, any more than I would speak to a potential work colleague like this for a paid role. I would expect them to get my application thrown in the bin, then and there.

I don't see how the context of the NHS makes it excusable.

The pushiness seems like a real red flag. Sure, he might have the best intentions, but what you've described makes me feel so uneasy. Women are seriously vulnerable immediately after giving birth.

I thought that volunteers in hospitals have always been around, though I'm not surprised if their roles are expanding.

Doesn't Sophie Wessex volunteer at the hospital where she gave birth, and which she credits with saving hers and her daughter's life?

[quote timeisnotaline]@madisonbridges I disagree. He thinks their basic processes are outrageous and that’s reason to be rude to a busy staff member. Imagine once he’s on board and happens to see more he disagrees with. There is no indication he’s a suitable person to work with vulnerable women who have just given birth.[/quote]
To be fair, and not defending him, I think the NHS's processes are outrageous too. As a volunteer he might very well see more things he disagrees with, and after seeing my mum in hospital I'm not sure how he wouldn't. And I'd hope he'd speak up about it...to the appropriate authority.
My initial post didn't say he was suitable. I agreed the op should inform the volunteer office. What I disagree with is saying:
He's a creep
He's up to no good
He's searching out an ex to abuse
He's going to verbally abuse someone going to the bathroom
He's going to expect a patient to show effusive gratitude for a cup of tea
He's going to deliberately burst in on people when they want to be private

If he were any if these, he wouldn't even make it onto the meet and greet section at the main entrance door.

@madisonbridges I disagree. He thinks their basic processes are outrageous and that’s reason to be rude to a busy staff member. Imagine once he’s on board and happens to see more he disagrees with. There is no indication he’s a suitable person to work with vulnerable women who have just given birth.

@TheEvilPea. The DBS checks are the same for staff and volunteers so not fewer checks for volunteers.

They fetch meals and drinks to women who can’t get up to get their own meals. he doesn’t sound like someone who id want supporting me while on the ward! What if he brought my meal and I was in the bathroom? Would he yell because I hadn’t been waiting politely in bed to be served? What if I didn’t say thank you effusively enough? Sounds like that would upset him too. Or if I were bf and didn’t want him to draw the curtain and come in…

He should possibly be directed to the men's surgical ward if it’s not mixed sex these days. And by the way what is this about mixed general wards? Neither men or women are comfortable and I believe there is new guidance coming about this. There are plenty of threads here about how women feel about having open visiting hours, father’s unknown to them visiting overnight etc. Yes we accept that men trained as doctors nurses and midwives will be in that environment. Some volunteers are just not suitable. (Jimmy Saville volunteered a lot in hospitals I seem to remember) and even if the volunteer appears to be well meaning, there are many motives which might make them unsuitable or downright dangerous. Just because namalt does not mean that we should open up every woman’s / children’s area to random males.