I don't want to add my pronouns at the end of an email, but I can't explain why...

Just completely ignore it.

She has recommended it. You don't have to do it. Just leave it and move on.

Pronouns on an email signature are fucking ridiculous.

My workplace had an article on pronouns and allyship the other day. Tellingly, over 200 people had read it, yet it only had 7 likes. We work in a field where biological reality is important, and I think that is very relevant to the above statement....

I've had pronouns before but not a link to that article, that's what I'd be complaining about. Not right to push that at people IMO.

I, too, interact with public bodies (NHS, NICE and a slew of NGOs and VCO) and I can't think when I last had an email from any of them that didn't have pronouns in the sig file.

I received an email today where not only had the male sender included pronouns but their email signature had a link to an article saying "why I share my my pronouns and why you should too". I will be very wary in my dealings with his organisation in future. In fact I am tempted to complain as its a public body.

A virtual work meeting. The facilitator asked us all to share our name and pronouns. Of the 13 people present, the only ones to share their ‘she/her’ pronouns were obvious women. None of the men present did. Other than the initial request, there was no pressure.

I think this is one of the most telling statements in this whole thread. I've not been asked at my workplace and the dynamic is such that I cannot imagine it would be expected. I'd certainly say no if asked, but I think its so interesting how gendered socialisation plays out in all of these circumstances.

I worked for an Irish organisation - I was asked so many times ‘what part of Ireland are you from?’. I’m not Irish and didn’t get offended for being asked (or even when someone assumed for some reason that I was Japanese).

@Itsanewdah

i’ve heard more than one office temper tantrum about people being called he/Mr if they saw themselves as she/Ms, and the other way round. So tell me if its important to you! If not, who cares.

As someone with a unisex name that is more often used with males you will hear me correct people " its Mrs actually not Mr." I have had people argue with me that "the computer says male" and I stand firm (odly I know if I am Mr or Mrs) many will take that as a tantrum. Its not a tantrum. Its me as a female standing my ground and not being walked all over. When I read comments like yours I wonder if its a tantrum like you claim or someone having to deal with idiots who can't simply say. "Oh so sorry I was mistaken" and then move on.

I’m not english, how am I supposed to know that Ciaran is “he” or “willow” is usually “she”.
I am not British either.. I took the time to learn and until I had learned I communicated and asked politely. Never fails manners and politeness gets you far with people.

oh sorry, yes, they / their

Forgot

Can anybody explain why the gender ideology philosophy objects to the binary nature of biological sex, but then offers just two restrictive options for gender?? A female option and a male option? It makes no sense.

💐@QueenDanu

don't put pronouns in your email at work. don't be compelled. don't submit. don't be the cause of fear in another woman when she sees you use pronouns.

If compelled, mine will be short and rude.

Place marking really. I haven't been asked yet, and dread that day. But when asked, I want to say something along the lines of gender is not binary it's fluid so i don't want to choose pronounces in a binary paradigm :-p

Annlovesgilbert, that's a useful link. Thanks.

[quote Pterfodactyl]@MrsPsmalls I have not read all your thread, but this has just landed in my in box. Sex Matters is the organisation founded by Maya Forstater, and which is doing absolutely sterling work for GC women (please support them if you can). Hopefully this guide will be of some help to you and others.

Sex Matters Guide to Pronouns at Work[/quote]
This guide is the place to start

and as PP said, (if you're able to):
"Tell her she should take hers off as it makes it easier for women who don't want to add theirs."

Yeah, i used to have a boss who threw an absolute wobbler if she ever got a letter (pre email) addressed to Mr. But as i used to point out to her: nobody expects a woman MD. You are forging a path. (she was an arse but it was the easiest way to get her to STFU)

[quote Itsanewdah]@foxgoosefinch i’ve heard more than one office temper tantrum about people being called he/Mr if they saw themselves as she/Ms, and the other way round. So tell me if its important to you! If not, who cares.[/quote]
I prefer to ignore toddlers tantruming in the middle of supermarket aisles. I thought that grown-ups had gone past the stage of throwing a tantrum to get their own way. Obviously not.

Having said all that. I often encounter emails (and previously letters and faxes) that ended with Eastern European First Name Last name (Mrs) which is also fine.

"I'm really sorry but it makes me uncomfortable, I dont want to get into it." You could also say how it's like how you don't want to put other personal information.

Nope. Nope. NOPE.

as other pp have mentioned, i've spent around 40 years mostly in male dominated industries fighting a bloody hard fight, and making only incremental progress compared to less good men, to throw it all away now with a "she/her" at the bottom of my email.

One of the ways i do this is "think, how would a man write this?" on all correspondence. And the word "sorry" is always the first to go. I delete unnecessary greetings and "please" and "sorry" and "thank you" are the first to go. I absolutely refuse to take notes during meetings, i don't make tea or coffee, i barely ever mention my children and i don't bring in cakes unless it's my birthday. I sign off either "firstname lastname" or "initial lastname" and i have never ever made a comment if i get correspondence addressed to "mr".

Up to now i haven't been asked to add my pronouns, but there is no way i will. And i will just say "no, i won't be doing that" with no explanation and no apology. I am perfectly happy for others to do that, and am entirely happy to use whatever pronouns they want. But i won't be joining in.

I have worked with a lot of Asian companies over the years and it is mostly not clear, when they're not using western names, if they are male or female. I tend not to address them as "mr" unless i know for sure, and try to use gender neutral language until i do know. But that's just my preference.