My Pregnant Husband

So "My Pregnant Husband" and "Pregnant and Transitioning" - I've seen 5 or 10 minutes of episodes here and there. Seems to be the same storyline in each - a man and a woman having "heteronormative" sexual intercourse and the woman getting pregnant in the way that woman often do when having unprotected sexual intercourse with a man who achieves orgasm when having sexual intercourse with a woman. If ever there was an argument in favour of keeping single sex spaces safe for girls and women then this seems to be it. On balance, most males want to have sex with females and let's not be providing easy access for men to women's safe spaces where non-consensual acts may happen.

I find it hugely disturbing that TV celebrates these people, goodness knows what problems these babies will have in the future having been exposed to a cocktail of chemicals and hormones that nature never intended in the womb and indeed, pre-conception in the ova and sperm. The sperm provider is male, technically a father and the person who carries the pregnancy to full term is female, a mother, irrespective of how they choose to present themselves to the world. It's like watching a car crash, the TV industry has no shame.

I don’t think young women realise just what they’re giving up. Currently we can track fairness in employment between males and females by looking at pay, promotion rate, if they’re able to work full time etc. We can use this data in tribunals and year end reviews. But if we have a group of NB employees, we might still notice the males getting promoted faster/paid more/ able to work time, but we can’t prove anything.
If some men give birth, some women father children - we’re comparing mixed sex groups which is useless.

Cripes Flying. I don’t want to think too hard about that but of course it’s entirely possible.

Triggered by being misgendered in speech. Clearly not triggered by using lady parts to have a baby.

Freddie was a means to an end I think. A baby has an adult responsible for them at birth, it's always the mother because that's the only parent you can guarantee will be there at the birth. If you remove "mother" then commissioning parents of paid-for babies can all disappear (like the baby with Down's abandoned by the commissioning paedophile in Australia /Thailand) and nobody is legally responsible for a tiny unwanted infant.

Babies are already born in the UK completely unregistered, to undocumented women in slavery conditions, and sold to paedophiles. It happens. Nobody has any evidence the baby exists, there were no antenatal appointments, the mother isn't here legally, the birth wasn't in hospital. It happens.
If all the forms are changed to state "parent" and the person who gives birth is a surrogate with no genetic link to the child, who looks after the child?
I'm very glad Freddy didn't prevail in court.

I think it's wrong to assume that pregnant transmen are the people pushing for changes to language

It very much is - Freddie went to court to try and force them to call him the father. And Stonewall tells all their champions they must get rid of 'mother'.

I have no issue with transmen having babies and for me there's no contradiction in a female-borne person who is more comfortable presenting as a man, but who still has a desire to have a baby.

I think it's wrong to assume that pregnant transmen are the people pushing for changes to language to "birthing people", "cervix havers" etc. In my limited experience there are plenty of non-trans people in the NHS falling over themselves to erase woman-centred language in an effort to be "inclusive".

I do completely disagree with removal of women only spaces but I wouldn't assume that all or even most transmen want that.

Triggered by a form but not triggered by pregnancy???????
I can't wrap my head around this
Really

@Lovelyricepudding yes I agree with this. I dont have such a problem with transmen having babies, having individualised care paths etc for language or whatever else, but why do we all have to pretend they are actually a man, change all of the language in maternity services and publicise a "man" having a baby. If men could have babies, my DH would absolutely be having our second because I don't particularly want to go through pregnancy again!

The defect books would be fine though, they are blue/white/yellow.

Freddy got a much better experience of midwives and antenatal care than I ever have. Cups of tea and small talk? Phoned ahead of scans?

I think the problem is that lots of us assume people have "gender dysphoria" as it was originally defined in the 70s and 80s - a severe discomfort with your actual sex. So we assume that would extend to sex roles.

Most current "trans" people don't actually suffer this. It's a whole bunch of different issues, most of which are not actually about sex. It's a bundle of different identity hang-ups, all grouped under one all-encompassing label.

For women in particular, it's often some sort of "I want to be treated as a real person, not a woman" - a whole bundle of internalised misogyny. So actually having a baby isn't an issue, as no-one around you suggests you're a "woman" (ie subhuman) while doing so.

And sometimes, particular NBs, it's just a demand to be treated as "special"... Doesn't even have to be about sex at all, per se, but you get the opportunity to claim specialness by saying you can't be grouped by sex like normal people. You could do "non-binary" exactly the same way with any grouping system, even if it wasn't sex...

Am I allowed to say that Freddie gets on my tits if I use the 'correct' pronouns?

Freddy talked about pink forms here - www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/dec/27/midwife-pregnant-dad-caring-experience-thank-you

Freddy thanks the midwife for “apologising” for the “pink one size fits all forms” because Freddy is so special and cannot be encapsulated by such things.

You can only 'live as a man' if you first a accept male stereotypes.

Has anyone told Freddy that UK driving licences are pink?

Anyway. That little story just reinforces my belief that transmen take the view that women are people who like pink sparkles and men are people who fix cars. But that's probably confirmation bias. ..

When I see headlines like this it really makes me wonder if the pregnancy is honestly a desired pregnancy (in which case, the "man" is no longer "living as a man") or is it an act of rebellion?

If it is the latter, then that is very, very sad for the child.

I wonder if the long term consequences are thoroughly examined, or if it just a selfish act. In my thinking it is almost like an act of extreme activism, but it does nothing to further the cause as it makes a mockery of being a "man".

My brain is a bit fried by it all

Its bonkers. And shouldn't be encouraged by sensible people. Men can't get pregnant. Fact. Well not at this moment in time. Maybe they will evolve into sea horses in the future. Who knows.

Surely thus is in breach of his GRC. The GRC is given on condition that you live as the opposite sex. He is clearly not doing that.

What I find perplexing is the realities of gestation and childbirth are seemingly immune to dysphoria: trans men happily have children, and don’t experience mental breakdowns. But it is language and concepts that cause the strife - I’ll never forget Freddy McConnell’s account of having a fit because the midwife presented them with a pink medical form. And of course it’s dysphoria inducing to be called a mother. What I don’t get is why can’t they have the same attitude to words as they do to reality? Men can give birth! And also men love the colour pink and can be called “mother”. It just seems that what causes dysphoria is very selective and irrational. If one can give birth to a baby, why is being called mother a step too far?

There is a flaw though - "trans-man" is a subset of the class "woman", not "man" just like "trans-woman" is a subset of men not women.

I believe ftm transitioners stop all the hormone treatment when they decide to go through pregnancy in order not to harm the baby.

What makes me really quite angry about the whole thing is what it is doing to the terminology surrounding women. I have already been through an antenatal course where the written literature (although not the people who actually ran the course, thank goodness) insisted on referring to 'birthing parent' and 'birthing person'. American parenting websites frequently talk about 'pregnant people' and I note that the majority of these websites have a line to say that they were 'updated in 2020'.

Only one type of person becomes pregnant. Females. Specifically, older girls and women.

A pregnant transman is in no way 'living as a man'. Unless they take the view that a man is a tough person who fixes cars, while a woman is someone who likes pink sparkles and cries a lot. Which is more insulting than I can say.

And someone will be along shortly to tell me that ftm transitioners don't take this view, but will be unable to provide an alternative explanation as to what a transman considers a man or woman to be. (Yes, yes, an innate 'gender identity' which can never be explained or described using objective criteria.)

Anyway, all I know is that the word 'woman' is being stripped of its meaning; that by being described as a 'birthing person' I'm being reduced to a mere bodily process; and if I do continue to use the word 'woman' to describe myself, I feel as though I am making some sort of statement about my character, which the original definition of 'woman' never included.

I repeat: it makes me angry.