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Original poster

What would you do if your 13 year old daughter was diagnosed with gonnorrhea?

60 replies

Appalonia · 08/10/2021 19:19

Just wondered how mothers on here would feel about this...?

OP posts:
tiddlysquat · 08/10/2021 20:11

@Appalonia I'm sorry.

My mum did the pram thing with my sister as well. Weird isn't it now we've all got cameras etc . I was bullied at school and would never have told my mum, now and me and dd go over every inch of her day (I hope anyway). Doesn't make it ok but it was different. My parents find it weird that I cuddle dd all the time and say I love you to her .xx

BoredZelda · 08/10/2021 20:06

Things were different in the 70s

I wish people would stop saying this too. Child sexual abuse wasn’t acceptable in the 70s.

BoredZelda · 08/10/2021 20:04

Tbh parenting wasn't great in the 70s.

That’s a rather sweeping statement. I expect most parents in the 70s would have been aghast at their 13 year old daughter having been sexually abused.

Your parents weren’t great, obviously but that wasn’t the norm.

kittenkipping · 08/10/2021 20:04

I'm so sorry op. Things were different in the 70s but that is no excuse and doesn't have any bearing on the real ongoing impact of the abuse that people suffered. You absolutely have every reason to feel ongoing trauma from what happened to you and hurt / anger at the adults for further failing you in their response. You do not have to frame your trauma under a label of "it was ok then" it wasn't. It isn't. Your feelings and trauma are valid and justified.

Persifleur · 08/10/2021 20:03

I'm not surprised it still haunts you. That's appalling neglect. I hope you can find someone to listen IRL.
Flowers

Zoflorananana · 08/10/2021 20:02

I'm so sorry OP.

I was diagnosed with genital herpes age 12 myself, my DM did nothing but assume I was consentually active. I was already under the eye of social services at the time.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 08/10/2021 19:59

@Appalonia this is truly awful that you were failed like this. Have you had any therapy?

Original poster
Appalonia · 08/10/2021 19:56

19:52AnyFucker

Thank you. I especially appreciate that coming from you. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Appalonia · 08/10/2021 19:54

Tbh parenting wasn't great in the 70s. I remember my mum saying when I was a baby, she'd put in my pram at the bottom of the garden so she couldn't hear me cry...

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/10/2021 19:52

Your feelings are very understandable.

Original poster
Appalonia · 08/10/2021 19:50

I don't know why I feel so upset about it today. I've never been able to conceive and I don't know if this is the reason why. I had a miscarriage when I was 21. But also, it's thinking about how patents seem to care so much about their children these days and how I couldn't tell me mum what had happened as I know I would have been blamed for it. I felt utterly alone and that's stayed with me my whole life.

OP posts:
DialSquare · 08/10/2021 19:49

I'm so sorry that happened to you OP. My heart breaks for you. You were horrendously let down by people who should have protected you.

ducksalive · 08/10/2021 19:47

OP, you were badly failed.
Yes safeguarding wasn't as known about then but really obvious issues like this should have been dealt with.

BrandineDelRoy · 08/10/2021 19:46

Should this thread be moved or were you specifically looking for the opinions of mothers here?

picklemewalnuts · 08/10/2021 19:45

I'm so sorry, OP. You were failed by the people who should have protected you, and prosecuted the people who abused you.

ThisIsJeopardy · 08/10/2021 19:44

You needed and deserved to be protected. I'm so sorry.

ScrambledSmegs · 08/10/2021 19:43

Sorry x-post - I'm so sorry Appalonia.

I think, honestly that you can't completely blame it on the 70s. Yes the general attitudes of the time stunk, but there were plenty of 'good' parents around as well as the lax ones. Your parents failed you.

stealthninjamum · 08/10/2021 19:42

Op, I’m so sorry. Your parents let you down. Do you have anyone you can talk to in real life?

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 08/10/2021 19:41

I'm sorry that happened to you :(

AnyFucker · 08/10/2021 19:41

I am so sorry x

AliceW89 · 08/10/2021 19:41

So sorry this happened to you OP. It’s despicable that this went unchallenged. I hope you have no long lasting health complaints secondary to the infection.

ScrambledSmegs · 08/10/2021 19:39

Get the STI treated. Talk to her. Support her in any and every way I can. Report to police.

And all the while feel utterly shit that this had been happening and I hadn't realised.

Original poster
Appalonia · 08/10/2021 19:36

I'm asking because this happened to me. It was the late 70s which was a different time and it was just shoved under the carpet and I'm still dealing with it now and I wondered how mothers would deal with it now.

I don't know what's triggered this pain right now but I'm still so upset that it wasn't taken seriously. Guess safeguarding wasn't a thing in the 70s.

OP posts:
lughnasadh · 08/10/2021 19:27

Do you mean in the UK?

Inthetropics · 08/10/2021 19:27

I would talk to her and support her in whatever way was needed. I'd listen to her. I'd protect her in whatever way i could.

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