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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Are any schools getting the trans issue right?

34 replies

rhinowars · 01/10/2021 15:35

I have sent my kids' secondary school the Transgender Trend schools toolkit as the they are in the process of putting together a transgender policy. The school has told me that they think the Transgender Trend info is one-sided, and seemed to particularly object to the 'no child is born in the wrong body' strapline on the website.

I understand the school has pressures coming from all sides, including parents, the local authority, and the kids themselves. And that they don't want to be accused of discriminating against the trans kids at the school - of whom there are many.

But I have so many concerns, not least the issue of social contagion (sooo many kids now identifying as trans). I fear that, by trying to support trans kids (and trying to avoid being accused of discrimination), the school is normalising the idea that gender is just a feeling, that anyone who doesn't fit certain gender stereotypes is probably transgender, etc etc.

I have asked for more info on how they teach and talk about gender. At the moment, I don't feel like they're promoting a balanced view. Given all the nonsense on social media, I would want the school try to counter this by encouraging some critical thinking.

Does anyone know of a school with a policy/approach that promotes this balance, rather than being too timid to tackle the issues?

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scoopydoopy · 04/10/2021 20:52

@AsTreesWalking

I'm amazed that anyone working in a school can get away with putting that sort of thing on Fb! Do they not have the sign an agreement not to bring the schoolninto disrepute? I know it would be regarded as a very serious misdemeanour at my school.
I'm not sure. It is their 'personal' one but you can see it plain as day on there. Possible they haven't looked at their privacy settings or something. Or they don't care.
AsTreesWalking · 04/10/2021 18:18

I'm amazed that anyone working in a school can get away with putting that sort of thing on Fb!
Do they not have the sign an agreement not to bring the schoolninto disrepute? I know it would be regarded as a very serious misdemeanour at my school.

2fallsagain · 03/10/2021 23:13

Send the info anon to SSA and we will whistleblow for you. [email protected]

scoopydoopy · 03/10/2021 16:14

Thanks for the replies. I had no idea what to do about it without losing my job or causing masses of stress for myself/my family by potentially being hounded by people if they found out it was me.

2fallsagain · 02/10/2021 23:07

@scoopydoopy

I am concerned about the one I work in. 2 trans members of staff who mentor the growing number of trans kids. One of those members of staff has a public Facebook page with memes about 'Terfs with no teeth'. Worrying.
That is a safeguarding concern. You can whistle blow anonymously to the DfE.
MrsOvertonsWindow · 02/10/2021 20:17

@scoopydoopy

I am concerned about the one I work in. 2 trans members of staff who mentor the growing number of trans kids. One of those members of staff has a public Facebook page with memes about 'Terfs with no teeth'. Worrying.
No trans adults should be "mentoring" any children over trans issues. Let alone someone an anti women agenda. If children need additional support it should be for qualified competent therapy / counselling, not self interested adults getting involved. An incredible breach of professional boundaries.
NCfortoday2021 · 02/10/2021 20:12

I think we are getting it right. It does feel like a social contagion but the children involved feel very very strongly about it so do need a lot of support. We are trying to take as neutral an approach as possible without denying how they feel. We are going for minimising harm is to accept how they feel at the moment (always working with parents not behind their backs) but not making a big deal about it as we expect only a small percentage will actually turn out to be trans in adulthood.

Still using toilets divided by sex or individual toilets. OEAP have published some guidance on residential which we have found helpful.

Wish the DfE would just write a proper policy though rather than having to dig around for material in RSE policies etc.

ChristinaXYZ · 02/10/2021 19:47

@scoopydoopy

I am concerned about the one I work in. 2 trans members of staff who mentor the growing number of trans kids. One of those members of staff has a public Facebook page with memes about 'Terfs with no teeth'. Worrying.
Dear god that needs reporting! No staff member in charge of sensitive subject should be making overtly political and potentially threatening comments. Any school that ignored this would be like the Met ignoring misogynist jokes. If you are too scared to report it directly then take screen shots and get a proton email (free, easy to do and encrypted protonmail.com/ ) and send an email in to the head/ chair of governors/academy trust and copy it to Safe Schools Alliance and/or Family Education Trust. If school management wimp out then re-send copying in your local paper, and keep at it. This person should not be in charge of this element of the curriculum. We've got to stop putting up with this misogyny in plain sight.
ChristinaXYZ · 02/10/2021 19:40

@foxgoosefinch

I thought DfE guidance was now that children should not be taught the “born in the wrong body” idea? Not sure if that’s just primary or also secondary. Would be worth finding out and sending them the appropriate link.
Schools are not allowed to teach born in the wrong body.

www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum

"...teachers should not suggest to a child that their non-compliance with gender stereotypes means that either their personality or their body is wrong and in need of changing ..."

scoopydoopy · 02/10/2021 12:37

I am concerned about the one I work in. 2 trans members of staff who mentor the growing number of trans kids. One of those members of staff has a public Facebook page with memes about 'Terfs with no teeth'. Worrying.

2fallsagain · 02/10/2021 09:52

@wiltonism

One more thing (I was in a bit of a hurry earlier).

We have actually been there and had to ask DD's school not to affirm. The Safe Schools Alliance were also very helpful and argue that it is illegal to do so without consulting the parents. TBH I think they are desperate for a test case against a school, but no parent wants to put their child through this.

SSA person here. Hello everyone. Glad you found our advice helpful @wiltonism I just want to clarify our position on legal action. We think it is likely there will be a case against a school at some point. We know of several potential cases in the early stages and many of the parents who contact us go on to get legal advice. Sometimes getting a solicitor involved is enough. A solicitors letter can be a powerful thing to a school and it’s enough to get concerns taken seriously and addressed. Our position is that we will support any family who wish to pursue legal action but there are many steps before it gets to that point and parents need to go through the school complaints system first. Here is our guide to complaining. safeschoolsallianceuk.net/resources-2/factsheets/#How_to_Complain_to_your_Childs_School

On another point, any child pursuing legal action will be granted anonymity, as will their parents. That is not to minimise the enormity of taking that step. Just wanted to pick up on that point.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 01/10/2021 22:31

Important bits. Also good to know they have the correct protected characteristics in case the school have done the sex/gender swap or gender reassignment with gender identity.

Are any schools getting the trans issue right?
Are any schools getting the trans issue right?
Are any schools getting the trans issue right?
OldCrone · 01/10/2021 22:24

The school has told me that they think the Transgender Trend info is one-sided

If they think it's one-sided they recognise that there is more than one 'side'. But one-sided compared to what else? Stonewall/ Mermaids/ Allsorts? Do they recognise that these other sources are also 'one-sided'. Or do they think they're balanced?

If the one-sided Stonewall information conflicts with the 'one-sided' Transgender Trend information, how do they decide which is the right side?

Whatsnewpussyhat · 01/10/2021 22:21

Here you go op. Lots of stuff worth looking at from sex education to not allowing political lobby groups into schools.

www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum

reallyisthisallthereis · 01/10/2021 22:15

Yes, there are schools that get it right. However there are also parents who have well and truly bought into the trans ideology and schools are having to tread a very fine line to get it right.

Warmduscher · 01/10/2021 22:13

My DS13 has a trans boy in his class. The way school have dealt with explaining trans issues is to say your outside genitalia are just body bits, nothing special

“nothing special”?

Do they think genitals are just decorative and that they play no part whatsoever in sexual reproduction? And these people are educators?

FemaleAndLearning · 01/10/2021 22:13

Definitely look at all the Safe Schools Alliance Factsheet. Then check all the school policies such as equality, bullying to ensure if they list the protected characteristics they use sex not gender. This is a great place to start, then move on to the bigger stuff.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 01/10/2021 22:05

@Glenthebattleostrich

My daughter's school is brilliant.

A child can dress in the uniform they feel comfortable in, call themselves the name they are comfortable with and express gender as they see fit.

But the acknowledge sex matters and that is how they segregate. There is the option to use staff Changing if you are trans but no using the opposite sex facilities.

This is how it should be. Respectful but not forcing it on everyone else.
DdraigGoch · 01/10/2021 21:52

and seemed to particularly object to the 'no child is born in the wrong body' strapline

So much for body positivity...

Glenthebattleostrich · 01/10/2021 21:49

My daughter's school is brilliant.

A child can dress in the uniform they feel comfortable in, call themselves the name they are comfortable with and express gender as they see fit.

But the acknowledge sex matters and that is how they segregate. There is the option to use staff Changing if you are trans but no using the opposite sex facilities.

rhinowars · 01/10/2021 21:43

Thank you all so much. That's crazy that even Mermaids are saying no one's born in the wrong body and yet the school are treating the statement (on the Transgender Trend website) as controversial.

I think they're out of their depth but they are trying and they're happy to discuss. So it feels like there's a chance to influence them - just not sure I can do it alone... I'm going to get in touch with Safer Schools Alliance and Bayswater group, and will track down the DfE guidance.

I agree with the parallels with anorexia above - we don't affirm a girl's belief that she's too fat, for example. I'm finding it all extremely scary. I'm going to ask the school for details of PSHE curriculum and I'm also trying to pin down what happens at the LGBT lunchtime club, which they describe as a safe space for kids to discuss issues.

OP posts:
Jaysmith71 · 01/10/2021 17:54

Mermaids say "No one is born in the wrong body."

mermaidsuk.org.uk/news/do-you-still-use-the-phrase-born-in-the-wrong-body/

wiltonism · 01/10/2021 17:53

One more thing (I was in a bit of a hurry earlier).

We have actually been there and had to ask DD's school not to affirm. The Safe Schools Alliance were also very helpful and argue that it is illegal to do so without consulting the parents. TBH I think they are desperate for a test case against a school, but no parent wants to put their child through this.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 01/10/2021 17:48

Schools must not promote 'born in the wrong body' bullshit.

It's on the Gov.uk website.

They should also be providing single SEX facilities and changing rooms.

PaterPower · 01/10/2021 17:09

I genuinely can’t understand how something that has the potential to cause the children involved so much pain and long term harm, that’s spread so quickly through the teenage population, has been accepted by so many adults. Adults whose jobs are so wrapped up in safeguarding too.

If anorexia or bulimia had exploded in the same way, or instances of self harm had shot up in the 1000s of %, then we’d be trying pretty damn hard to stem the social contagion causing it. We’d (society / teachers) certainly not be teaching the kids how to throw up, or giving them tips on how to access blades.