The only sports that can allow everyone to compete together are sports where women already compete directly against men; see, equestrianism. There aren't too many others that can be added to that list and it's for good reason.
I used to play contact rugby many moons ago. I was shit but it was a fun hobby for a while, and some of the (very good) female players were absolute powerhouses. My body ached for days after a match. However, as strong as they are, biology talks and if a man was to play contact rugby against us, most women would be leaving the sport early with horrendous injuries, if not worse, completely regardless of how strong the women in question were.
We don't need wishy-washy advice. We need it outlined and made entirely unambigious. If you are trans and want to play in a sport where men already can't compete directly against women, I'm sorry but you'll just have to find another sport or compete against other transwomen.
I really don't understand why this is so difficult for people to understand. It isn't being transphobic, it's speaking an uncomfortable truth. And as much as people want and beg for life to be fair, life is never going to be fair. If it was, we wouldn't have millions of people living in poverty across the world.