Labour's Shadow Secretary of State for Scotland, chosen for this onerous role because he is the Tigger of Scottish Labour MPs; the wonderful thing about Ian is he's the only one.
Here are Ian's views on gynaecology, as told to Emma Barnett:
(IM) "I mean, (chuckle) ....it's a ...it's a medical science thesis, isn't it. It's probably not correct on the basis that you would maybe have some, er, men who've transitioned to be women but don't have a cervix. You might have some transtioning men that do have a, ...a, ...a cervix. you might have some women who've transtioned to men who don't. So ...ha, ...this sort of technical argument gets away from the...."
(EB) "....Sorry, what was your ...I didn't follow your answer. ...Was Kier Starmer right to say that?"
(IM) "I don't think Rosie Duffiled should have thought she couldn't have come to conference. And she's ...Conference is a perfectly safe place, and I think that highlights the problem with this argument..."
(EB) "...Sorry, could you answer ...do you mind ....would you mind answering the question? I didn't ask you if Rosie should come or not. ...She ...she feels she can't, right. ....That's. ....It's ...it's how it is. That's what's going on with Rosie. But you are a member of the shadow cabinet. You're the shadow Secretary of State for Scotland. Was Kier Starmer right in what he said yeterday?"
(IM) "...Well, ...I suppose, ha, ....you see, this is, ...this is where I think this whole debate gets bogged down in issues that are missing the point of the debate. ...Um ....In terms of the actual question that you're saying, in terms of the cervix question, of course biological women are born with a cervix, but sometimes you get (inaudible) ...transition, you will have people that are legally living as women that don't. So it's a technical question that I think that, ...um, ...takes away from the major debating points here, and this is the problem with this debate. ...Um. ...We've got two very polarised parts of this debate that need to come together. These issues are not resolvable. ....(Etc, etc, etc.)
(JS) ...Sorry. I can't carry on. I've lost the will to live.