I did it. I stepped up!

@RhubarbCrumbled well done you on showing the rest of us how it can be done politely and nicely.

Well done Rhubarb, I think that illustrates beautifully how it can be done. 👏👏

for those asking for an answer.
I saw on another thread the quote from the equality law? Or wa it a declaration of LBG rights?
Anyway, it was the one about forcing people to be outed whent hey didn't want to be.
The asking of pronouns may make it easier for some, but it will force some people to be outed that are not ready.

I think this is a good one to use, as it throws the issue right back to the questioner

Well done Rhubarb, this stuff really does make a difference.

I have 2 jobs and in one job we were told to add pronouns to email signatures, I said I would prefer not to for personal reasons - I wasn't asked to elaborate and that was that (in the end some people have done it and others haven't). In my other job I haven't been asked to add pronouns, but do have non-binary colleagues there (fine, everyone just gets on with it) and we are all having Gender Awareness Training later in the year. I imagine we'll be asked for pronouns at some stage during the training (we all know each other though so it would only be for the trainer's benefit, surely), and the fact that gender is the focus of the day and NB colleagues will be present will make it harder for me to say no. I just want to get through the day, have my awareness raised, and crack on with my actual job, while continuing to be respectful of everyone's personal beliefs with no drama (imagine!) If pushed I think I would have to give the fact that it's very personal info to be asked to share at work as a reason not to habitually share my pronouns. What a faff though.

(I'm so paranoid about all this I NC'd to post here)

Brilliant and well done. I was shocked to discover how many are not at all educated on this. I was asked to put pronouns in a low level presentation and another manager complained one of their agents didn’t want to and I said well you can’t ask her why and her reasons are probably … XYZ. He said but loads of people do it just to make the trans people comfortable and I said well what if it makes people extremely uncomfortable to use pronouns.
I also said stonewall have been taken to court for trying to make people do things like this and have lost as they try to say what is legal and isn’t and aren’t always correct. I said as an organisation Stonewall were terrible and people just don’t get it. They think adding she/her is a nicety that harms no one. Makes me rage

OP well done

Well done!! That's not a little thing, it's huge!

With my children, on the other hand, asking for a gender list and identifying keenly as a panromantic demiboi was quite enough to get them off the subject

I am ancient enough that 'Oh, I'm a bit old for all that. Whatever you like' has worked quite well.

With my children, on the other hand, asking for a gender list and identifying keenly as a panromantic demiboi was quite enough to get them off the subject. Clearly they also think I'm too old for all that.

Love that quote Arabella

and I love that others removed theirs once you declined and questioned.

Well done OP, that's awesome 👏

As an aside I find it quite sinister that in order for an organisation to be seen as inclusive to a small minority (not even a protected characteristic) when declining to use pronouns you were literally requested to go away and educate yourself.

What other group in society is afforded this level of TLC.?

@GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman good observation

Well done, Rhubarb. You showed some bravery and look what happened — other people took their pronouns off and joined you on the front line. I hope someone leaves you a cake or some flowers on your desk tomorrow as a sign of solidarity. You're not alone. I'd bet that the vast majority of your colleagues agree with you.

Well done.

I dropped one of the DC at uni this weekend, and saw a lot of fresher's reps. About a third of the girls were wearing 'She/Her' badges. Not a single one of the boys was troubling with 'He/Him'.

Evidence it it were ever needed that females are socialised from birth to beeee kiiiind and think first of others, before even applying critical thinking skills.

For a cisgender person (a person whose gender is in alignment with the sex they were assigned at birth- more on that another time!) there is little to no risk in sharing your pronouns. When you’ve never questioned what pronouns people use for you, or even thought about the idea of pronouns after you learned about them in 2nd grade, sharing your pronouns on digital profiles is easy and costs you nothing.

medium.com/gender-inclusivit/why-i-put-pronouns-on-my-email-signature-and-linkedin-profile-and-you-should-too-d3dc942c8743

Good job rhubarb! It isn't a small thing at all. Completely agree with all the other posters saying by stepping up you are enabling and allowing others to step up too.

I have not been put in this position yet but the best suggestion I have heard for a go-to response is simply to say "I don't feel comfortable with this" Or the even more breezy "Oh, I don't do pronouns".

If pressed, just say that it's for "Personal reasons that I'd rather not go into a group setting". True but non-confrontational.

Whilst not directly challenging the ideology, it should allow you to avoid giving pronouns. I can't imagine anyone pressing you any further on it and, hopefully, it would enable/allow other people present to politely decline too.

Was the article you were sent something along the lines of “Why I put pronouns in my signature and why you should too”? My boss keeps emailing me that article. I keep ignoring it.

👏

My pronoun is ‘I’

We don't make everyone do a prayer before they eat.

In fact in most primary schools, it's "put your hands together if you want to."

So definitely works as an analogy.

Omg this is not a shallow post!

Stealing your reasons for if I'm ever in that situation myself....

Bravo!

Brilliant! It just takes on person saying no to start the ball rolling and you did it.

I wrote an email pointing out:

• Sexism
• Stereotype threat
• That my gender critical beliefs are protected under the Equality Act