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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Sabina Nessa: The Deafening Silence

157 replies

Jaysmith71 · 23/09/2021 08:09

Just a local London story. Far less interest than Sarah Everard, also in London. Far less interest than Gabby Petito thousands of miles away.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-58639602

Now whatever is it about Sabina Nesser that provokes this apathy???

OP posts:
nyktipolos · 23/09/2021 19:56

Lots of white women have posted about race baiting and about how lack of coverage isn't about racism, but no one asked them if it was.

I said it was race baiting. Not a white woman.

This thread is because the op is out and out lying. She posted this morning it was news only in London. Despite the fact that I had had the news on since 5am and seen lots about it several times. I don't live neat London.

I saw it yesterday and Monday on the main news. No one can answer why you didn't see it.

And don't quote me, and then misrepresent it. I said you weren't paying attention. And since it's been on the main news since Monday, if you watched the news and missed it.....you weren't paying attention.

Now you are saying that a it wasn't in the news because you and your friends didn't see it? Ah well, I must be making it up. They were interviewing women on Monday in the local area. Women weren't talking a out a vigil....All because your friends didn't see it

You seem to keep going into threads about race and start talking about race baiting, do you have some sort of problem with people discussing race? A very weird thing for a supposed Asian to be talking about

What are you saying? That I don't act Asian enough? Priti Patel?

I am on 2 threads. This one where pp is lying. And another where people can't even be arsed to get name or ethnicity correct. And we are suppose to believe this is about caring about her or WoC?

Oddly, all Asians don't think the same. We don't all believe the same.

But it's absolutely disgusting that you think it's OK to post these things because some disagrees with you

It also shows your lack of ability to form an argument. Its also Racist to imply because someone doesn't agree, they can't aren't 'Asian/black etc enough'. Its so wrong.

PizzaAndCake · 23/09/2021 19:41

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Needmoresleep · 23/09/2021 19:39

The Mail have been covering it well, with regular updates and reporting on various things politicians have been saying.

Hard to miss, I would have thought.

But then the Mail has been good on a range of women’s issues.

EvilPea · 23/09/2021 19:27

I think it fell down the news a bit when it was initially reported as the police had someone in custody. It’s certainly ramped up the headlines now, as it should have been.

nyktipolos · 23/09/2021 19:24

@PizzaAndCake pipe down and check my posting history. I am from the Asian community. So who is the YOU you are talking about?

And no white woman is talking directly to you. They have posted on a thread.

I heard of it at the back end of the weekend/early Monday. The fact that you haven't isnt a reflection on anything, except you weren't paying attention to the news, which is fine. But you can't then complain you not knowing means no one cared.

The op thinks it was still a London story and not mainstream this morning. She is wrong as well.

But people from all around the UK knew, people from other countries knew days before this morning. So not a local story, some people just seem to have missed it.

It was Monday on the lunchtime news that they were talking to locals who said there was a vigil in the planning.

But OK, you missed it, which means everyone else who has seen it must be making it up. It's actually not about you. You not seeing something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

PizzaAndCake · 23/09/2021 19:05

@nyktipolos

And the coverage has stepped up today, one week after the murder.

No it hasn't. Coverage has been wode spread for days. It wasn't at first because 4 people, 3 of whom are children, were murdered the same weekend.

As news goes, that is the bigger story. That story has died down, news wise, because they have the suspect in custody.

You were claiming this morning it was a local London story this morning. Despite the fact that its been covered on the news and in papers every day since it happened.

I knew about a vigil being planned 3 days ago. I live in Yorkshire, it was on the main 6pm news.

The fact that you didn't notice it, doesn't mean it wasn't covered.

Again, back to my point earlier, do you get bothered by women (of all colours) taht are murdered outside London that get little to no coverage?

I'm Asian and I'm very disappointed with the coverage this has been given, I only heard about it yesterday night. Lets not act brand new, we know black and Asian women who go missing and murdered are less reported in the media and we all know it's because of racism.

I don't want a single white woman talking to me about it's being reported and it's not about racism when SO many Asian and black women have said it's not enough. Not everything is about YOU

nyktipolos · 23/09/2021 18:04

And the coverage has stepped up today, one week after the murder.

No it hasn't. Coverage has been wode spread for days. It wasn't at first because 4 people, 3 of whom are children, were murdered the same weekend.

As news goes, that is the bigger story. That story has died down, news wise, because they have the suspect in custody.

You were claiming this morning it was a local London story this morning. Despite the fact that its been covered on the news and in papers every day since it happened.

I knew about a vigil being planned 3 days ago. I live in Yorkshire, it was on the main 6pm news.

The fact that you didn't notice it, doesn't mean it wasn't covered.

Again, back to my point earlier, do you get bothered by women (of all colours) taht are murdered outside London that get little to no coverage?

Jaysmith71 · 23/09/2021 17:55

@merrymouse

It is reminiscent of Levi Bellfield's final victim on Richmond Green.

Do you mean Twickenham Green?

I do.

And the coverage has stepped up today, one week after the murder.

OP posts:
merrymouse · 23/09/2021 17:43

It is reminiscent of Levi Bellfield's final victim on Richmond Green.

Do you mean Twickenham Green?

Milkbottlelegs · 23/09/2021 14:28

I don’t know what news you have been reading/watching but there is coverage. And lots of it. And as others have mentioned a vigil is planned for tomorrow.

A lot of the media attention was driven by the SM presence of Sarah’s friends. She was missing for days before her body was found. They were a big driving force in increasing the attention on Sarah as a missing person.

Maybe Sabina’s friends and family would rather grieve privately than drive media attention which cannot lead to a good outcome?

RoyalCorgi · 23/09/2021 14:16

It's currently the lead story on the Guardian website:

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/sep/23/sabina-nessa-thought-killed-on-way-meet-friend-say-police

I would agree that the deaths and disappearances of black women are probably under-reported compared to white women. But there are a lot of factors in why one story gets covered more than another. There are about 700 murders a year in the UK and they don't all make national headlines.

NoYOUbekind · 23/09/2021 13:59

What I would say - and apologies if this is the wrong place to say it - is that I have been very, very aware of people telling white middle aged women like me that we're doing feminism all wrong recently. I actually went to post about Sabina Nessa on my social media this morning, as I do about every murdered woman I hear about, but something stopped me. I don't think that something was racism. I think it was because I'm fed up of being called a Karen that actually causes harm to woc.

I mean, I'll get over it. Sabina's family never will. I'll pull up my big girl feminist pants and post later, but silencing and staying in our lane and taking a seat - well, it all has an effect, doesn't it.

#sayhername #SabinaNessa

skodadoda · 23/09/2021 13:41

@CatsOperatingInGangs

Where are the headlines? Where are the protests? It makes me ashamed how little the media cares.
It’s all over the media!
Ionlydomassiveones · 23/09/2021 13:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

KimikosNightmare · 23/09/2021 13:24

@Yoksha

NW resident here. I only knew about Sabina Nessa's murder because LBC is my station of choice. Shocked at lack of outrage. RIP beautiful girl. 💔
I don't use social media at all. Sources of news are The Times BBC on television and online. I'm in Scotland. I heard about it via my usual mainstream news sources.
youvemademyshitlist · 23/09/2021 13:20

It's been all over the news and her name was trending on Twitter this morning.
I think the murders in Killamarsh stole the headlines at first, as 4 people including 3 children is shocking, but now they've remanded someone in custody, the focus has shifted to Sabrina's case as they're still hunting for her killer.
Nothing to do with her race imo, just the other stories in the news at the time.

Mindareno · 23/09/2021 13:10

I don’t think it helps to compare to Sarah Everand, that was a missing person case for a few days and then only blew up when the perpetrator was found to be a police officer. Up till that point it was also fairly local news

I agree. I don’t doubt that there is racism involved in the under reporting of victims of colour, and we should talk about that, but it simply isn’t realistic to expect every case of a murdered woman to attract the same huge level of attention that Sarah Everard’s murder did.

KaptainKaveman · 23/09/2021 13:01

The OP has invented a lie that this is an under reported matter. It isn't.

How nasty to deliberately exploit a murder for your own agenda OP.

sashagabadon · 23/09/2021 13:00

Levi bell field also abducted and murdered school girl milly dowler and one other young woman getting off a bus.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 23/09/2021 13:00

There is no silence.

And if she’s vanished and been missing a few days first - the papers would have run with it more. However, they have the body so we know it’s murder. The news will only go into overdrive again when there is a suspect or some salacious detail that means they can talk about it.

Petito is entirely different. Not only was she apparently all over insta, - meaning she had a platform, but we also had the ‘additional’ interest points if the silent boyfriend, the police call out, and the vanishing boyfriend, even before there was a body.

Both are terrible occurrences, but the media follows ‘the story’. When there’s not much detail to pore over, the media take less interest.

Fariha31 · 23/09/2021 12:56

@Jaysmith71

This is a local London story. Nothing on the national media.

It is reminiscent of Levi Bellfield's final victim on Richmond Green.

He had other victims. Oh god, I did not even know that. Was not on any news I saw Sad
nyktipolos · 23/09/2021 12:28

People saying 'I only heard of this, this morning', what point are you trying to make.

Because the only take away from that, I can seen is that you don't take an interest in the news.

Whinginadeville · 23/09/2021 11:29

This has been all over the News if this is your definition of deafening silence you just trying to stir up trouble

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 23/09/2021 11:05

I get very angry about the reporting of honour killings in the media because my perception is that they are actively hushed up.

Or reported in such a way as to leave the impression that it might have been an accidental death. The reports I read about Sarah Hussein said that she'd died following a fire and described her as a fire victim.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feminism/4317334-sarah-hussein

Not the best link but there are some guidelines and I wonder if there's an hypersensitivity around some of them that gets in the way of reporting:

Level Up’s guidelines on how outlets should report on domestic violence deaths consist of six main points:

Accountability. Place responsibility on the killer. This means avoiding speculative “reasons” or “triggers”, or describing the murder as an uncharacteristic event. Fatal domestic abuse is usually underpinned by a longstanding sense of ownership, coercive control and possessive behaviours: they are not a random event.

Accuracy. Name the crime as domestic violence. Rather than describing the death as a “tragedy” or “horror”, frame it within the context of a pattern of controlling behaviour, coercive control and/or previous assaults. Include a reference to helplines at the end of the article, so readers know where to seek help.

Images. Centre the image of the deceased woman, but include a picture of the perpetrator at the bottom. If she is a Muslim woman, use the image that has been provided by the family and police alone.

Dignity. Avoid sensationalising language, invasive or graphic details that compromise the dignity of the dead woman or her surviving family members. In cases of BME women, focus on the perpetrator’s gender-based abuse and control as the root cause of homicide. When religion or culture is used as a reason, it detracts from the sexist values the killer holds that underpin their violent actions.

Equality. Avoid insensitive or trivialising language or images. All women have a right to dignity and respect, especially in death, regardless of their race, sexuality, occupation, class and whether they live with mental or physical disabilities. Remember a victim’s children are likely to read reports on their mother’s death.

Sensitivity to cultures and religion. When reporting on a woman’s death, there is no need to discuss religious or cultural values, or her religious or cultural background unless imperative to a case. Be careful not to perpetuate stereotypes or make assumptions, particularly around ‘honour killing’ or domestic homicide.

www.stylist.co.uk/life/level-up-campaign-change-reporting-domestic-homicides-violence-deaths-media-guidelines-women-killed-by-partners-2/230587

Level Up's own site (which lists 5): www.welevelup.org/media-guidelines