The look at me of pronouns

This just came up for my DH. After a lot of joking about funny options and smart possibilities he is just going to not put anything and if asked in person will say that he prefers to be referred to by name.

I am not working, so have more options to be sarcastic if asked. At the moment I am planning on saying that my lived experience does not concur with gender based identification methodologies. And see how they deal with that on the fly.

Because of the ideology that surrounds it, it's not simply a woman saying 'I'm she/her not because of my biology', but more like 'I'm a woman because I 'feel' like a woman - and I like baking, high heels and fashion generally'.

Agree. It’s not just about having to draw attention to sex, it’s also about having to make a statement about identity. That really shouldn’t be forced on anyone.

I’ve always thought that this is the reason that some people don’t like single sex toilets - it feels like a statement that they don’t want to make.

I ignored then on LinkedIn and it stopped asking me.

I was in a work meeting where HR were banging on about how the alphabet soup group had suggested that pronouns would make everybody feel more included and happier. Fortunately I'm in a job role where I was able to approach this HR person later and point out that some people might actually be uncomfortable putting pronouns, so perhaps it was best left as a matter of personal choice rather than mandated. He was so scare of offending anyone he leapt to agree with me even though I'm massively more junior. Turns out offense culture can come in handy occasionally.

I also squint a bit funny at the people who have pronouns listed in their emails. I find it interesting to see who does it.

Also, why do they say she/her or he/him anyway? Anyone with a vague grasp of English grammar knows that she and her go together, you don’t need to say both

Yes but why go with the rules of English grammar? Isn’t the whole ideology about people deciding what things mean for themselves regardless of common usage and reality.

I once watched a video stream with a woman with an obvious female name like Sarah or Claire. She actually said “my pronouns are: she…her…and hers.” With big pauses and emphasis on each one. It’s ludicrous. Who is going to be She/Her/His? lol 😂

I also think it's 'look at me', but I doubt Thomas in your OP had a choice. But you are right that it was irrelevant in the convo you had with he/ him. I just wish people were trained to use "you" correctly and not get their knickers in a twist with stuff like "I spoke to yourself earlier". (I know it's culturally the norm in some places. Not round here it's not. It just sounds pretentious and ignorant to me.)

Also, why do they say she/her or he/him anyway? Anyone with a vague grasp of English grammar knows that she and her go together, you don’t need to say both.

Thank you! This does my nut in.

Their explanation is that this will make others feel more comfortable in stating their preferred pronouns

I was bullied to fuck at school for being a butch weirdo. Culminating in a violent attack, broken bones (me) and police involvement (them). A common theme of the bullying was ‘are you a she or a he?…. You think you are a bloke, don’t you…‘ etc etc.

I have a visceral dislike of anyone trying to force me to state pronouns. And I very much doubt my experience is unique.

You absolutely don’t have to add your pronouns to your LinkedIn profile, as I said, I recently checked mine and it was one click to decline (the ridiculous bloody suggestion).

The organisation I work for is SW Diversity Champion. While we haven't been asked formally to state our pronouns, I've noticed more and more people doing it.

If asked I plan on saying "I don't want to be labelled" or just putting "it".

ProudAlly
My company encourages us to add our preferred pronouns to our email signatures and when meeting new colleagues to say "My name is ProudAlly and my preferred pronouns are she / her / hers, what's your name?" Their explanation is that this will make others feel more comfortable in stating their preferred pronouns, if they want to. If that's true then I don't have a problem with it. I'm in favour of being inclusive.

It's not inclusive, it's sexist. If pronouns are not based on your sex, what are they based on?

If a male wants to use she/her pronouns, it must be based on them stereotyping what a woman is, in order to identify as one.

Not only that it directly affects women irrespective of gender politics.

If women are constantly forced to acknowledge their sex, where they may not want to, it will increase the sexism they experience.

Sorry, meant to say -

'Because of the ideology that surrounds it, it's not simply a woman saying 'I'm she/her because of my biology', but instead, it's like a woman saying 'I'm a woman because I 'feel' like a woman - and I like baking, high heels and fashion generally'.

What is does do that is emphasise the fact you're a woman and that your name is a female name. It's basically like a message saying 'JUST IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW I'M A WOMAN, I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW HERE! OK???' , and women should have the perfect right not to feel comfortable with that because of associated discrimination.

Because of the ideology that surrounds it, it's not simply a woman saying 'I'm she/her not because of my biology', but more like 'I'm a woman because I 'feel' like a woman - and I like baking, high heels and fashion generally'.

The woman has the right not to buy into those ideas, and to also not use use other wording that is part of that ideology, such as they/them or not using pronouns at all.

[quote ProudAlly]@Naunet "At present I do not include my pronouns on my email signature, nor do I introduce myself per my company's guidance"[/quote]
Still avoiding the question, but ok….

@Naunet "At present I do not include my pronouns on my email signature, nor do I introduce myself per my company's guidance"

[quote ProudAlly]@Naunet I said "if that's true". I don't know whether it is or not. Please read my post before commenting on it.

At present I do not include my pronouns on my email signature, nor do I introduce myself per my company's guidance.[/quote]
Dodging the question there. You said if it’s true, yes, which this thread clearly shows you is not the case. Some people are uncomfortable with it, so you’d be happy to be inclusive of them too, right?

It’s a simple question….

I was recently looking at a study which found people's interaction with babies differs on whether the baby is dressed in pink or blue (ie thought to be a boy or a girl). It's no different in the workplace for a huge amount of women. If people perceive them as male they get respect, if they are perceive them as female they must first prove they should be in the running for earning respect.

I recently updated my LinkedIN profile and had to choose my pronouns.
There wasn't a way to opt out of this question, so I chose she/her as I am a woman.
I don't know how I feel about being forced to choose, but for those people on here saying that anyone who uses pronouns is attention seeking or wanky, well in this particular case, the decision was forced on me! I'm not trying to make a statement about who I am, I'm just looking for a job!

@Naunet I said "if that's true". I don't know whether it is or not. Please read my post before commenting on it.

At present I do not include my pronouns on my email signature, nor do I introduce myself per my company's guidance.

Good girl...

I have only been asked once and I was prepared.
I said I hadn't made my mind up and, in the meantime, could they refer to me as she/he/they and her/ his/theirs.

It wasn't anything to do with my work and I probably wouldn't have said that if it was was.

It is totally shocking and what makes me even more shocked is the fact that it does seem to be female 'allies' who are leading the charge in this nonsense.

I actually think you would have a discrimination case if asked for pronouns at an interview. Ds18 recently did an interview for a part-time job at uni. First question by the male-bodied, female named, they/them interviewer was "Would you like to share your pronouns?". He did and went with he/him or they/them. He threw in the they/them as "people like that hate straight men who are not trans".

However, by asking for pronouns, he was effectively asked what his gender is. In Ireland, where we live, the equal status act provides protection from discrimination on the grounds of gender, not sex. According to the Gender Recognition Act, there are 3 genders - male, female and transgender. By that logic, if his pronouns match his sex, he is male, if not, he is transgender. If he doesn't get the job, can they prove it wasn't on the basis of gender as they effectively asked him what gender he is?

He will know next week if he got the job.