Dh peaked last night…

My point is he’s only concerned about not ever being seen as gay

Ds1 has been told that his genital preference is transphobic, he is not concerned about being seen as straight

My point is he’s only concerned about not ever being seen as gay. Absolutely nothing about the effect on women. And she didn’t dictate anything it’s just hot air.

Sounds like the OP’s peaking was nothing to do with women’s rights anyway but more to do with the suggestion he’d ever go near another man’s penis
And what is wrong with that? Why should he accept his sexual preferences be dictated by his 17 year old child?

I try to navigate difficult discussions with my teens in a calm way with an understanding that they can be very impassioned and often wrong.
Having endured much ranting from my own teenaged mentally ill brother and the arguments back I’d prioritise my relationship with my kids.
Sounds like the OP’s peaking was nothing to do with women’s rights anyway but more to do with the suggestion he’d ever go near another man’s penis.

Some posters seem to have very poor reading comprehension skills and be unbelievably naïve about teenagers, and seem to think they need (or always deserve) to be talked to in a gentle, explanatory tone. The OP's dd is virtually an adult,and if you actually read all the OP's posts, it's quite clear the dd's attitdude is well beyond the point where a kindly chat would even be well received, never mind effective.

It's great that your dh has seen the light, OP, but as ever, it's a bit depressing that the lightbulb moment for men so often goes "Be kind, twaw. Hang on, what? That means I should fancy transwomen? Ummm ok, maybe I don't think twaw after all (when it affects me) then!"

I think children need to push boundaries against their parents. It is not ok to tell anyone that they have to accept penis (specific penis or penises in general) against their will.

By trying out a series of arguments with their parents, children and teenagers can see what possible reactions are. Maybe it was better that OP had that discussion with her dad than with her (male?) boss in the pub?

If you’re children were voicing racist or homophobic views in your home, would you challenge them or allow it?

Challenge, by all means. But 'losing your shit' is not acceptable in a domestic context, whatever the views expressed.

Your post is very sexist squirry

There is no excuse for a man 'losing his shit' like this in a domestic situation. None at all

Why is it okay for the woman to lose her shit about her beliefs? That it is okay for her to swear, shout and be rude but not okay for him?
Are you really living in some parallel universe where it is okay for anyone to shout but a man? So you are silencing his views because he is a man?

I agree blibby that far from empowering children, it has become a lesson full of emasculation - of identity, security and well being.

There is no excuse for a man 'losing his shit' like this in a domestic situation. None at all. I have zero tolerance for abusive behaviour like this, having been a victim of it.

If there has to be collateral damage in this war on women then so be it.

Your*

Many are changing genders on a weekly basis in our school, or switching back or changing sexuality as if it were a fashion piece of a pair of shoes.

The sad thing is, this should be a good thing. Kids feeling empowered to play with and surpass gender stereotypes and abandoning homophobia should have been a good thing.

But it’s been twisted by the regressive gender ideology into something that makes them feels their bodies need “correcting” or their sexual boundaries are an expression of hate or that females don’t need rights or a name because there’s no material differences in our society for those in female bodies and those in male bodies.

The absolute tragedy of how the twisted idea of gender identity took feminism’s good work highlighting and dismantling gender and turned it into something harmful and repressive.

How was that achieved in OP’s home?

Depends what’s more important - relationship with daughter or whatever this is supposed to be a victory over.

Because the daughter was expressing a view unpopular on MN, many seem to think victim-blaming is entirely appropriate

Rubbish…any similar thread on aibu would get a mix of posts blaming the dh and blaming the dd

The OP’s daughter hardly sounds like a delicate flower who was terrified. Sounds like she gave as good as she got. And while being extremely disrespectful to boot.

If this were in any other context, the DH 'losing his shit' and shouting and swearing at the 17 year old daughter, people would be concerned about the daughter. Because the daughter was expressing a view unpopular on MN, many seem to think victim-blaming is entirely appropriate.

Not true. There is no excuse for a man 'losing his shit' like this in a domestic situation. None at all. I have zero tolerance for abusive behaviour like this, having been a victim of it.

It's amazing how many posters excuse absolute dreadful behaviour the minute someone puts themselves under the trans umbrella.