10yo Daughter wants to go to pride

whatwouldscullydo totally agree. I was 18 and at uni before I found anyone interesting enough to date. At school I generally detested the boys but not romatically interested in girls either.

The problem with youngsters declaring themselves a specific 'identity' (with little flags and all that) on social media is that in the current climate they box themselves into a corner. They'll first be love-bombed with a shower of hearts and new followers, but to then grow, move on, change will invoke a torrent of abuse as an apostate. That's a lot of stress for a teenager to cope with at a vulnerable age

Yy

Its not that they can't know ever. More that we are encouraging kids right now to pick a label. It's not even enough to just pick the label they have to prove it somehow to.

What's wrong with just letting kids have the time and space without all the attention and drama around it all.

As I said I wasn't interested in boys or girls in my teens. I.wasnt a sexual or a romantic or whatever Box I'd have to pick.now.i just hadn't met anyone I wanted to spend 5 mins with let alone a date. And they all hated me too.

And guven the massive bullying problem.in schools I really resent the fact that they only seen ti give a shit what happens to your kid if it onterfers with their outward appearances of "inclusion" of the lgbt.

That alone is reason enough to potentially push someone to label themselves just so someone gives a crap about them.for 5 mins.

Deal with any bullying. Make sure they know its ok to be gay/straight etc but these labels they are pushed to assign themselves now ...its too much. Leave them alone for 5 mins to figure stuff out.

Personally I doubt any kids under 15yo has any understanding of sexuality and they are far too young to bother about this type of labelling.

A survey of LGB adults showed that the average age they realised they weren't straight was 12.

Of course plenty of people don't completely know their sexuality at that age, but do you really think that no younger teens do? By that age I was certainly having crushes on other girls, and feeling the 'odd one out' compared to my friends who had boyfriends or fancied boys.

If going to pride is just something she's mentioned and will forget, just forget about taking her. But if Pride is something she's pushing and you're too negative about it, I'd worry whether she'd be comfortable telling you if, in a few years time, she did realise she liked girls.

Keep talking. But not lecturing -i found with my DD that talking about this alongside other topics made more sense. Freedom of opinions, thought, boundaries, etc how to live alongside people with different views and beliefs, looking beyond headlines and memes and actually thinking a bit harder.
Lots of kids embrace the whole flags and pride stuff. Some will be gay, others are still figuring themselves out.
I think a family event for Pride would be fine but it is fundamentally about adult sexuality and it's not all suitable for kids. I'd avoid the big events (which are usually ticketed now anyway) but maybe something a bit more low key?
I'm not gay but ended up accidentally in an event which was for younger adults (with DD and some of her friends) and it was lovely.

Sounds like you have a great relationship with your daughter. Lucky girl.

If it's any help in enabling you to feel more confident about your opinion, I and my partner are older lesbians and we agree with you. I was on the early Pride marches in London when we were literally second class citizens without many of the rights straight people enjoyed. We marched for our human rights. I haven't been to any Pride event for years because it's so male-orientated (it always was) and I became increasingly concerned by the commercialism, the drink and drugs and the kink.

We occasionally encounter a gay man who is on the committee of our local Pride. He makes fun of what he calls 'trannys' in private but in public he's a full-on TRA because a) he'd be crucified if he didn't say the right things and b) because trans is where the money is. Pride is an empty, bare-buttocked travesty of the original movement. You've read the situation correctly. I'd set the age limit at 16!

Id say it's perfectly fine provided you do your research & check out which event is most family friendly. The prude March itself is fine.

We took our own DD to pride since she was tiny. The parade & main park event here were fine for kids, just lists of good music, food & dancing with most people dressed up in fabulous costumes. She loved to dress up for it & join in the dancing etc & we always found it very safe. Our local street party was another matter though, that could get a bit much with kids in tow, way more than just well toned men in skimpy leather. So do be careful to go to the right event.

DD is now 18 & though "cis hetro" she is extremely accepting & very militant in protection of her non hetro etc friends

it was 15 years ago I went

15 years ago, the idea that a male could be a lesbian would have been dismissed as offensive. Now it’s the main message.

I've been to Brighton pride a few times and it's great fun, lots of kids (it was 15 years ago I went) and lots of families enjoying pride and the beach and attractions.

On a lighter note : if you identify as a suitcase, think of all the exotic labels 🏷 you could have. And you get to change them too.

Your DD sounds fiercely intelligent - takes after her mother.

My DD is aware of all these labels from tik tok I think, but seems more interested in arguing on roblocks at the moment. Many of her friends are caught up in this and declaring themselves all sorts at the moment. Hating JKR is a given :(

I think you're doing a really good job - you can't beat the open-ness you two seem to have - she sounds really happy to chat with you - and you sounds like someone who is happy to really listen to her - AND know when to speak up and challenge her ideas. That sounds fantastic to me.

Re. Pride, I'd maybe just say, 'too young' - when you're 13 you can go with your friends.

Unfortunately these days Pride is not an appropriate environment for a 10 year old child.
Used to be the worst thing you saw was a bare bum in chaps but now there are all sorts of things I wouldn’t want my kids to see

Just because they have sex doesn't mean they are sure if their sexuality

Many will have been raped or pressured into it or groomed or whatever.

Some don't even figure it out until adult hood having married and had kids etc

@NoYOUbekind. Totally agree

Personally I doubt any kids under 15yo has any understanding of sexuality and they are far too young to bother about this type of labelling.
So all those kids under 15 who have sex?? I was a late bloomer like you but its massively naive to think your daughter won't have any of these feelings until mid teens
My sister is a lesbian
Do you know at what age she knew she liked girls not boys?

No chance would I take a 10 year old

We accidentally found ourselves in Bristol on the day they had their big pride event a couple of years ago. Mostly it was fine, loads of teens in rainbow stuff with bright hair… then we hit the square.
One of the circuses that comes to our town on its tour has a family friendly show, then at night it’s adults only with leather, whips, drag, grinding, fire… it was like I’d taken the kids to the adult show my mistake and nobody was on the door to stop me. It was very sexualised and in your face! I had a lot of questions to answer that day, especially from my aspie son who doesn’t have any filter

My dgd is ten in January. I feel I’m living in a parallel universe, she would have no idea about any of this at all.
Least I don’t think so. Mind boggling.

Also, I knew I was straight when I was 4, I hate this assumption that gay children don't know their sexuality. Iknowit's a TRA shitstorm out there but that doesn't mean we have to man the barricades on every LGB and even T issue/question/post

And I didn't know until my late teens. We do need to normalise not knowing and not caring. Instead of trying to pin them down in primary school.

DD did the "your gender and sex match if you don't think you have one" idea.

Okay, then how does she explain Non-binary?