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Original poster

I think I’m going mad….

358 replies

Iootraw1 · 07/08/2021 21:48

I’ve absolutely had enough of my family bringing up ‘mum’s views’ (which I’ve learnt to keep completely private from them due to previously accusations of bigotry’), and then when I say a single thing in response,, accusing me of being ‘obsessed’ with it and not keeping it to myself!

I feel like I’m going mad. Husband saying he doesn’t know why I’m so obsessed with trans matters and I should keep to myself - I do! I don’t want to share with them because they don’t agree and don’t want to hear it.
Ever since the first time I tried to bring up and got shot down my him and kids I decided I would never mention again and wait for them one day to find out for themselves and be peaked.

But Just once again tonight in response to their accusations (they brought up subject not me) I tried to explain briefly why it opposes women’s rights and homosexual rights and got quickly turned upon. I’ve bought Trans by Helen Joyce now and will just tell them to read it next time (although will no doubt get condemned for buying a ‘transphobic’ book and they will refuse to read it) I feel really down, I can’t even have my own personal opinions and thoughts now without my very own family trying to eek out of me what ‘I really think’ and nose at what I’m looking at over my shoulder (I follow Glinner and Posie and Mars). I’ve bought headphones so they don’t hear it and never share any of it. I have to clear my history in case they search it.

It’s like some weird dystopia we’ve all been forced to enter. I even mentioned the olympics tonight in my defence and they still they said that I imagine all of this and it’s not really happening.

What will it take for they and the general public to wake up and at least listen to women’s concerns? I feel so upset tonight. 😩

OP posts:
BluebirdsSong · 08/08/2021 02:58

@timeisnotaline

They are 15 and 18, I’d be taking a solid break from cooking and washing for them. ‘You strongly object to my having opinions in my own house but think I’ll cook you dinner? You’re confusing having a mum with having a slave and I’m sure you modern young people are anti slavery. Kitchen is there, laundry is that way, and you know where the supermarket is. I’m off to read dangerous things online and buy some pistes
What a way to make kids not just be embarrassed by you but also despise you.
Helleofabore · 08/08/2021 02:57

Why, do you think the "peer pressure group" has hidden cameras installed in their house?

Not very experienced with teenagers are you? Nor technology and the way teenagers communicate.

NiceGerbil · 08/08/2021 02:57

@DazzlingHaze

You need to speak to your husband, OP. It's his behaviour I find worst of all. Teens are supposed to disagree with their parents and think they're old fuddy duddies with out of date views but your husband is meant to be your partner. He should have your back even when he doesn't agree with you and vice versa. Even if it's just to tell the DC "stop goading your mum". It's not on that he's ganging up on you with your children.
Totally agree.

If you wade through OP and get here.

Is he generally on your side as it were? When the kids are being sods? About other stuff?
Do they pick on him like this?

timeisnotaline · 08/08/2021 02:55

Posters!

timeisnotaline · 08/08/2021 02:55

They are 15 and 18, I’d be taking a solid break from cooking and washing for them. ‘You strongly object to my having opinions in my own house but think I’ll cook you dinner? You’re confusing having a mum with having a slave and I’m sure you modern young people are anti slavery. Kitchen is there, laundry is that way, and you know where the supermarket is. I’m off to read dangerous things online and buy some pistes

NiceGerbil · 08/08/2021 02:55

[quote BluebirdsSong]@NiceGerbil
I was mocking the notion that you can determine someone's sex simply by how they talk. The very idea is inherently rooted in gender stereotypes about behavior.[/quote]
So you were mocking us by. Is this right?

Using a word you know women hate, is essentially out of use, and was most commonly used by men critical of women who didn't perform femininity well enough.

By insinuating that the poster who you were responding to is personality-wise. A deeply sexist man in maybe the 1940s using it to insult women..?

Is that it?

DazzlingHaze · 08/08/2021 02:54

You need to speak to your husband, OP. It's his behaviour I find worst of all. Teens are supposed to disagree with their parents and think they're old fuddy duddies with out of date views but your husband is meant to be your partner. He should have your back even when he doesn't agree with you and vice versa. Even if it's just to tell the DC "stop goading your mum". It's not on that he's ganging up on you with your children.

Chickenyhead · 08/08/2021 02:52

I SEE YOU

BluebirdsSong · 08/08/2021 02:50

@Chickenyhead

Differences between male sexed and female sexed people that you can never see, because you are not a woman and haven't experienced life as a woman.

Men are women's biggest predators.

We see you. Very clearly.

Lol, okay. I guess my sex is no longer based on my genitals, gametes, or chromosomes. Instead it's based on whether you think my posts have the "male vibe".

Sexed forum posts.

NiceGerbil · 08/08/2021 02:49

Sorry again about all this OP.

Just thought.

If you think it might give them pause.
And if they are arguing that gender is more important than sex/ sex is irrelevant/ biological essentialism etc etc

Just say.

Look. I carried you through pregnancy and then gave birth to you.

Having my own two children constantly picking arguments with me. That sex is irrelevant/ thinking biology matters is bigoted/ etc is incredibly rude/ disrespectful/ tactless/ thoughtless / out of order/ whatever.

This topic is closed. Full stop.

If either of you bring it up again I will.. pocket money etc whatever.

(You need to not mention it either as well obv).

Chickenyhead · 08/08/2021 02:47

No deliberations. You are a man.

You derailed the thread on purpose. Take a bow.

BluebirdsSong · 08/08/2021 02:46

Anyway, I feel that the deliberations about my sex derailed this thread long enough.

Chickenyhead · 08/08/2021 02:45

Differences between male sexed and female sexed people that you can never see, because you are not a woman and haven't experienced life as a woman.

Men are women's biggest predators.

We see you. Very clearly.

BluebirdsSong · 08/08/2021 02:43

No idea how any of my posts had involved "male privilege", and I'm pretty sure I haven't made any threats.

Chickenyhead · 08/08/2021 02:40

Opinions cannot be sexed.

Can they?

Not in my experience.

Male privilege is clear as is threat.

BluebirdsSong · 08/08/2021 02:39

@Chickenyhead

I have very "masculine " opinions apparently. Meh, opinions aren't sexed.
I wasn't talking about you. But now that you've said this, why did you assume I must be a male because of mine? Are my opinions sexed?
Chickenyhead · 08/08/2021 02:37

Oh, is it? Nah you made that up.

BluebirdsSong · 08/08/2021 02:37

@NiceGerbil
I was mocking the notion that you can determine someone's sex simply by how they talk. The very idea is inherently rooted in gender stereotypes about behavior.

Chickenyhead · 08/08/2021 02:36

I have very "masculine " opinions apparently. Meh, opinions aren't sexed.

Chickenyhead · 08/08/2021 02:34

Weird opinion. Not one I agree with or can relate to.

NiceGerbil · 08/08/2021 02:34

Can I ask a serious question.

Given the fact that ladylike is not a word generally used these days. And the judgement around female compliance with their sex role. Almost always used as an insult.

What made you choose that word?

Was it pointed in some way or is it in your general vocabulary. If the latter, how come?. family use it/ from a non UK country where it's used?

Why did you feel that what was said translated to an accusation of not being ladylike?

BluebirdsSong · 08/08/2021 02:33

"masculine opinions that women never use"
*never hold

Chickenyhead · 08/08/2021 02:31

Nope.

Privilege and threat.

NiceGerbil · 08/08/2021 02:30

Or about 115 years old.

Seriously.

I think my gran said it sometimes.
She died in the mid 90s and was mid 80s.

I have no idea of the sex or age and don't like guessing games.

That's such a bizarre thing to read though!
An out of date word for trying to shame women who don't adhere to their sex role. However restrictive it was at the time.

My aunt was refused a pint in a pub in the late 60s.

The thinking behind that being women shouldn't drink pints. It's not right. It's not, you could say, ladylike...

BluebirdsSong · 08/08/2021 02:30

@Chickenyhead

Not a guess.

Clear as day that you are a man.

Darn, it must've been the masculine words that women never use and masculine opinions that women never use that exposed me. 😔

I shouldn't have underestimated the gender critical feminists -- true experts at recognizing the immutable connection between behavior and sex!

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