Page 6 | Interesting experience with public toilets

Rosalisa · 2021-08-04T11:21:14+00:00

Presented with just one comment. I had to fly from Scotland to London last week. Bit bleary and unfamiliar with Luton. Inadvertently opened the door to the men's, I was met with horror so backed out, no bother. Into the women's. Where a man was coming out of a cubicle, short hair, no make-up, t shirt and jeans, beard. Perfectly pleasant but completely unchallenged by anyone including the male attendant. I think I've been really sheltered in the highlands. No thank you.

Jorriss · 04/08/2021 16:12

She came up with the hypothetical and then described it as onjectively ‘fucking terrifying’

I would find the scenario fucking terrifying too. Please refrain from minimising women's experiences.

Chickenyhead · 04/08/2021 16:08

Oh dear.

B e c a u s e, if it can happen during the day, it can happen at night. Because, if that entitlement exists, it exists 24/7.

Quite obvious.

Anotheruser02 · 04/08/2021 16:08

@WookeyHole

This just makes me think there needs to be some sort of concerted women's week of action, all of us identifying as male and using the men's loos to see how they like it.

The problem is we are not a threat to them, so this will just confirm that sharing is not a problem. I do think we need to mobilise in a more meaningful way though.

korawick12345 · 04/08/2021 16:06

@PurgatoryOfPotholes

That’s does sound very scary. But I am not sure what it has to do with the OP which doesn’t describe a situation anything like that. Or is this now a thread where we just post situations that we have been in that were terrifying. I have no doubt we can all come up with situations we have been terrified but it doesn’t have anything to do with the scenario the OP posted.

It's basically exactly the scenario chickeny posted though, so I think you should stop digging.

That has already been identified by another poster as a completely different hypothetical. Posting a load of different scenarios and then saying how scary they are is not relevant to the OP at all other than to try and whip posters up into a frenzy. I have to question why posters are feeling the need to post about other, in some cases, hypothetical situations rather than just engage with the OP on the scenario she experienced.

PurgatoryOfPotholes · 04/08/2021 16:04

@ArabellaScott

Er, 858% is quite a figure. Obviously I mean 85%. And I might need to double check that stat now!

New stats published last week. 99% of sexual offenders are male.

www.womenarehuman.com/transgender-sexual-offending-context-is-all

PurgatoryOfPotholes · 04/08/2021 16:00

That’s does sound very scary. But I am not sure what it has to do with the OP which doesn’t describe a situation anything like that. Or is this now a thread where we just post situations that we have been in that were terrifying. I have no doubt we can all come up with situations we have been terrified but it doesn’t have anything to do with the scenario the OP posted.

It's basically exactly the scenario chickeny posted though, so I think you should stop digging.

ArabellaScott · 04/08/2021 15:54

Er, 858% is quite a figure. Obviously I mean 85%. And I might need to double check that stat now!

ArabellaScott · 04/08/2021 15:53

Given that figures suggest at least 20% of women have experienced sexual assault and/or rape, and over 858% of sexual assaults are carried out by males, there are rather a lot of women who potentially have trauma around males.

I'd go so far as to say those figures are a massive underestimate, and that MOST women have experience of sexual assault.

It's the norm, not the exception, to have experienced sexual assault at the hands of a male.

Chickenyhead

korawick12345 · 04/08/2021 15:50

We all find different situations challenging in different ways and that is why it is important to protect single sex spaces.

korawick12345 · 04/08/2021 15:48

@ShitShop

I had to use a motorway service station toilet at the height of lockdown last year. One of those places with the food court, fast food places all around the edges and tables in the middle with the loos at the back.

It was about 9-10pm, literally not a single soul in there, shops and food outlets all closed. Walked through the place in silence to the loos at the back. No attendant, no other customers. I honestly thought if someone else is in here I don’t stand a chance. I’d already tried 2 petrol stations both had closed loos and I was on the verge of just squatting on the hard shoulder at that point.

It was indeed “fucking terrifying” and had a man been in the ladies - no matter what he was actually doing, I’d have feared the worst and probably ran out to somewhere at least there was CCTV.

You don’t get to police what others find fucking terrifying. I’ve been attacked by men in my own home and I’m not generally terrified of being there. But in a secluded and private place. They have no business being there. Trans men are not a gotcha - they know what it’s like to be female and they’d hopefully be more self aware than to use a ladies loo if they actually pass as male.

That’s does sound very scary. But I am not sure what it has to do with the OP which doesn’t describe a situation anything like that. Or is this now a thread where we just post situations that we have been in that were terrifying. I have no doubt we can all come up with situations we have been terrified but it doesn’t have anything to do with the scenario the OP posted.

ShitShop · 04/08/2021 15:40

I had to use a motorway service station toilet at the height of lockdown last year. One of those places with the food court, fast food places all around the edges and tables in the middle with the loos at the back.

It was about 9-10pm, literally not a single soul in there, shops and food outlets all closed. Walked through the place in silence to the loos at the back. No attendant, no other customers. I honestly thought if someone else is in here I don’t stand a chance. I’d already tried 2 petrol stations both had closed loos and I was on the verge of just squatting on the hard shoulder at that point.

It was indeed “fucking terrifying” and had a man been in the ladies - no matter what he was actually doing, I’d have feared the worst and probably ran out to somewhere at least there was CCTV.

You don’t get to police what others find fucking terrifying. I’ve been attacked by men in my own home and I’m not generally terrified of being there. But in a secluded and private place. They have no business being there. Trans men are not a gotcha - they know what it’s like to be female and they’d hopefully be more self aware than to use a ladies loo if they actually pass as male.

korawick12345 · 04/08/2021 15:36

@Nonmaquillee that is exactly what I was picking up the pp on. She came up with the hypothetical and then described it as onjectively ‘fucking terrifying’. The fact she didn’t express herself clearly is what led to me picking up on her point which IMO was unhelpful and a distraction from the thread.

ExConstance · 04/08/2021 15:32

It wouldn't bother me, I'd probably think he had made a mistake. So long as the men sit down and don't spray pee all over the place I'm happy to share.

Chickenyhead · 04/08/2021 15:29

You didn't disagree with me, you misinterpreted me and spent the whole thread criticising my post rather than contributing anything of your own.

I'm ok, I'm used to bullies.

Nonmaquillee · 04/08/2021 15:29

@korawick12345

Unsettling, confusing, uncomfortable all of these things absolutely but not ‘fucking terrifying’ for an average woman. I accept that some women have us experiences that would render it very alarming and that is one of the many many reasons toilets should be single sex.

It’s not up to you to tell another person how to describe an experience.

You’re detracting from the point of the thread by focusing on the language used to describe a HYPOTHETICAL situation.

korawick12345 · 04/08/2021 15:24

@Chickenyhead

Funny how nobody else CHOSE to twist my comment and misunderstand it, except you. Who has gone on and on.

Almost like bullying.

Sorry you feel the need to characterise anyone who has a different opinion to you as a bully that must make life very difficult for you. I suggest you stop responding to me if you feel this interaction is uncomfortable for you.

Chickenyhead · 04/08/2021 15:13

Funny how nobody else CHOSE to twist my comment and misunderstand it, except you. Who has gone on and on.

Almost like bullying.

korawick12345 · 04/08/2021 15:04

@Chickenyhead

Sorry you don't understand humanity or subjectivity.

Nowhere did I say "everyone would feel fucking terrified " you interpreted my post that way and ridiculed it, implying I have "problems" or am some weird exception.

Because you know how everyone else feels.

Just keep defending your attack.

I am glad you have been able to clarify what you meant.

PurgatoryOfPotholes · 04/08/2021 14:59

Standing next to man who is minding his own business and washing his hands cannot reasonably be described as ‘fucking terrifying’ at any point of the day unless you have pre existing issues.

There are a lot of women with "pre-existing issues". According to CDC (American government department), 1 in 4 girls is subjected to sexual abuse before her 18th birthday.

www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childsexualabuse/fastfact.html

Nonmaquillee · 04/08/2021 14:58

@Ereshkigalangcleg

Now imagine that late at night, no attendant, alone. Fucking terrifying

Exactly. There is no care or consideration for women and girls here.

Yes, agree

NCwhatsmynameagain · 04/08/2021 14:57

@WookeyHole

This just makes me think there needs to be some sort of concerted women's week of action, all of us identifying as male and using the men's loos to see how they like it.

This is an amazing idea. A week of women identifying into all men only spaces we can find (urgh not that I would want to but I’d do it for the cause). I’d say majority of men (and probably a good deal of women!) living outside the social mediaverse have no idea of the war being waged on women’s rights and even if they did they’d think it didn’t particularly concern them so would want to stay out of it. Well what if they didn’t have the option of staying out of it?!

Chickenyhead · 04/08/2021 14:56

Sorry you don't understand humanity or subjectivity.

Nowhere did I say "everyone would feel fucking terrified " you interpreted my post that way and ridiculed it, implying I have "problems" or am some weird exception.

Because you know how everyone else feels.

Just keep defending your attack.

korawick12345 · 04/08/2021 14:53

@Chickenyhead

I read them perfectly, It was obviously my feeling, because I said it.

Keep attacking Mr though with your semantic bullshit.

I suggest you make your own comments not spend the whole thread attacking mine.

Entitled or what.

Sorry you don’t understand how talk forums work

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/08/2021 14:51

Unsettling, confusing, uncomfortable all of these things absolutely but not ‘fucking terrifying’ for an average woman.

It really does depend on the male in question for those women who say they are ok with it. I doubt they would be in some circumstances, because some males really are intimidating, especially when you are trapped between them and the door.

MySecretHistory · 04/08/2021 14:51

Was he trying to talk to teenage girls about their periods? That was my recent experience