Interesting experience with public toilets

MrsRobinsonsHandprints
"It's also going to get to the point where mens loos are safer, because men that wish to abuse women will be in the women's loo".

Yep - those in the gents will be desperately trying to cover up from their unexpected guest. I know a couple of posters have suggested 'revenge bog raids' but I think you'd be preaching to the converted.

That’s not the scenario the Op posted

It's the scenario Chickeny said would be "fucking terrifying" which it would be for many women. This is not the thread for minimising women's feelings.

It's awful that happened to you skylark, but if you did judge other women in that light because your experience tells you that behaviour isn't beneath anyone then no one would blame you.

No one chooses their trauma responses, you can logically know the facts but that can't translate them to not freezing up every time that is triggered because you want it to.

Korawick12345: "There are lots of times which can legit a be described as fucking terrifying, I am not sure being in proximity to a man minding his own business and washing his hands is one of them."

You've chosen to edit out the most crucial item of information here. The man isn't standing in a supermarket or a queue at the bus stop: he's in the women's toilets. By deliberately leaving out this piece of information, you are minimising the OP's experience.

Revenons a nos moutons.

Females don't want males in their single-sex toilets. (Don't bother arguing, all you MRAs who've somehow found this thread.) What are we going to do to ensure that female single-sex toilets stay female? Is anyone collating which loos across the country have remained single-sex? What effect will the government's recent announcements make (for new-builds only IIRC)?

trump card?

Fucking hell.

Oooh is NAMALT so soon??

and now if you could just tell us how we tell the men who will assault and rape us from The ones who won’t just by looking at them, that would be splendid! I mean I’m sure you know how we can do this right?

To say that 99% of all sexual assaults are committed by males is not 'man-bashing'. It's stating a simple fact.

It does not mean that all males are rapists or that women think that.

Trauma response isn't always rational. It means that one might have a generalised anxiety or fear about males. It does not mean that one believes, with a rational brain, that all males are a risk.

I'm sorry to hear about youru assault. I'm glad that it hasn't had an adverse effect on your experiences of women.

You do not have the same experiences or responses as everyone else.

People are able to have different responses and fears.

I don’t think that individual anecdotes or personal stories are helpful when framing general discussions such as the need for single sex spaces. I can see that many disagree with me and that is fine.

@jorriss far from your chacterisation, I initially responded to one post and my further posts have been responses to people who have addressed their comments to me. The poster I initially responded to was on the basis that her post read to me as if she was speaking for all women- I was merely pointing out that I didn’t agree. She later went on to clarify that she had been speaking only for herself. Had that been clear in her initial post I would never have commented on it.

I am glad that so many people are feeling the need to have a pile on. In reality I hold the same view that you all do that men shouldn’t be in women’s spaces.

I have a son and a husband whom I love dearly and would trust with my life, plus male in-laws, friends and colleagues who strangely enough all understand perfectly why a woman could feel intimidated and frightened to find herself alone and in an enclosed space with a man.

I find decent men get it instinctively.

Talking about situations which could be frightening/experience of assault - man bashing

Sigh.

Clearly NAMALT. Please do quote the post which says otherwise.

Unfortunately because most predators don't have an identifying badge we are cautious of any man who is where he shouldn't be.

And any decent man would read this thread (under feminism board so expect some challenging of male entitlement) and probably think "Absolutely. There is clearly a reason for segregated toilets coz, you know, some men attack women. I don't and I'm not so stupid to assume you all think I'm a rapist ".

It's a shame many women posting here don't see that.

But ENOUGH do, don't they?

What percentage of men would you deem unacceptable?

Whilst I agree with the point about separate toilets etc I never fail to be amazed at the ridiculous level of man bashing which pops up under just about any subject on MN, for example the implications that any male in the proximity of a female toilet must be an abuser or rapist etc, get real the majority of men do not abuse, assault or rape girls or women and if anyone reading this has experienced this I'm sorry but that is still not a good enough reason for what appears to be anti male hate, I was as a young man sexually assaulted by an older woman, it does not mean that I judge all women in that light.

it doesn’t have anything to do with the scenario the OP posted.

Yes it does, it is the same scenario. Encountering a man in a deserted toilet alone would be fucking terrifying for many women.

FFS, I edited and the paragraph order got muddled.

I won't dismiss other women's experiences, I will move on.

I have to question why posters are feeling the need to post about other, in some cases, hypothetical situations rather than just engage with the OP on the scenario she experienced.

You also have the option of extending a little bit of compassion to those who have suffered trauma, and accepting chickenyhead and others' points, and moving on. Do feel free to engage with the OP however you wish; there is no need to keep trying to dismiss other women's responses.

As I shall do, now.

Perhaps Korawick could also reflect on how fucking insensitive they are being to a multiple rape victim. On a feminist thread.
I am disgusted at the inhumanity of it.

I have read the thread. That you are presiding over ready to pounce and minimise people's experiences. No-one owe you any explanation for how they feel at all. I'm absolutely sick of people minimising and belittling women's experiences and feelings. Enough is enough.

Anyway back to this point:
New stats published last week. 99% of sexual offenders are male.

And this:
It's the norm, not the exception, to have experienced sexual assault at the hands of a male.

I think the words you might be looking for, korawick12345 are something along the lines of: 'I'm sorry, I have clearly misunderstood this thread.'

And then maybe you could have a think about why so many women find it terrifying to be unexpectedly alone alone and in an enclosed space with a man?

Alternatively you can choose to carry on digging yourself in, should you so wish, in which case I'm sure we shall all note how your contributions are deflecting from the thread, draw our own conclusions and move on.

New stats published last week. 99% of sexual offenders are male.

I misread that as 99% of males are sexual offenders initially and I wasn't surprised.