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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Some thoughts on trans, the media and society

410 replies

Nefelibata33 · 01/08/2021 01:21

Hello everyone, I'm starting a new thread, cos I posted this message on a thread about Dr Helen Webberley, but people said they didn't want to discuss it, cos the thread was specifically about Dr Webberley. So I thought I would post my message for everyone to see, in a new thread. I think it's worth reading, I would like to discuss things with people. If you want to say something, please do. I will talk to anyone. Abuse me if you want, but I'd prefer if you didn't. I couldn't give a sh*t tbh. Sending love xxx. Here's my original message below

Hi everyone.

Just a post to say something. Firstly, if you are really concerned about big pharma, check that the NHS is in league with big pharma, and they dish out drugs like they're smarties. I have no idea what state you may be in, but you may have experience of this. I find it totally scary that so many people are getting hooked on drugs, cos a doctor prescribed it. This really isn't ok. As an example, a few years ago, they changed the blood sugar reading for which you can be described as diabetic. So more people could be diagnosed as diabetic, and more people could be given diabetic meds, and hey... a GP gets a bonus every time they diagnose someone as diabetic. I think the NHS is great, the nurses who are ready to sacrifice their own lives to help others, like Florence Nightingale. Like my Grandma. Like one of my cousins. But the ones who sit in offices and dish out drugs, they are a real problem.

Why am I saying this? Because doctors will dish out every drug going, even when they have horrendous side effects, make people actually feel worse than they were to begin with. Do we hear anything about this in the media? No. It doesn't sell papers. Any sort of backlash against big pharma? No. Because the media are onside with the mega rich pharmaceutical company directors getting richer and the poor getting poorer, not that the media would say that. Is there a type of drug doctors aren't allowed to dish out? Yes, oestrogen or testosterone.

This is the only thing no doctor can prescribe. There are plenty of countries around the world that take a different approach to trans people, and it's not so difficult to get hormones. With no disasters taking place. Keira Bell got a lot of attention. One person that made a mistake, amongst the thousands of trans kids who are happy as they are. One person. The media made a big deal of it.

Would it be wrong if I said that the media in this country have an axe to grind against any minority group? The Sun carried out a massive racist hate campaign against Raheem Sterling a few years ago. Britain's most prominent black footballer, it wasn't racist at all. You saw the racist abuse thing after England didn't win the Euros. It's absolutely shameful that so many people think it's OK to send someone death threats, JUST BECAUSE THEIR SKIN IS A DIFFERENT COLOUR. Encouraged by the Sun. The tabloids are the cancer of this country, our society would be much better without them I think, but we're stuck with them. They killed Princess Diana. A woman who was in the prime of her life, so happy, and bang... killed by the tabloids. There was a massive outpouring of emotion, but did it stop anyone from buying the tabloids? No. Nobody learns. I've read on this site, all this woke this woke that. Prince Harry has been accused of being woke. Cos he married a mixed race woman, and he doesn't want her to end up like his Mum. Think about it. Not "woke", a loving human being.

I don't get the woke thing. It's just a word that has been invented to describe someone who cares for social justice, and is right on. Can someone please explain to me why that's so bad? I really don't get it. Why are kind people a problem? Could it be, that there are just a lot of people who aren't very kind?

Back onto the media, they are totally corrupt, lying bullshtters. GB News is really struggling, so to boost ratings, they decided to attack the Trans community. To boost ratings! I guess that's more entertaining for the sort of people who watch it. I am now going to say something. I don't care who you are, but just realise this. Trans people are being treated just like gays were 20 or 30 years ago. The media do this to sell papers, and make money. Rupert Murdoch is Australian, he's an immigrant, but his papers bang on about immigration. Fcking hypocrite. The demonisation of Trans people is just part of a large scale war by the right wing/neo nazi movement. Are any of you reading this wondering now? It's part of a nazi thing. Caring for children is one thing, but demonising a group of people who just happened to be so unlucky that they were born in the wrong body is another. Have a heart, people. No transgender person wants to hurt you, or your children. They are not dangerous to anyone, the women's toilets, shelters, changing rooms in clothes shops... This is the truth. You don't get the truth in the papers. The papers don't have anyone's best interest at heart, they are just trying to make money.

I've said what I needed to say. I came on Mumsnet cos I'd heard of it, and I wanted to see how people think. I've received quite a bit of abuse off people, quite nasty, and some questions about my level of intelligence. Don't worry, I'm intelligent, and I won't stoop to the level of insulting someone else for being different, or having different opinions.

I am a feminist. There, I said it. I would die to protect a woman. So how come so many so called feminists are against Trans women? Do you actually believe a Trans woman is going to rape you in the toilets? NEWS! Trans women don't hurt or kill women, MEN DO. Trans women are not men. No Trans woman wants to hurt you. It's just the sort of fcked up shtbag men that want to hurt you.

If anyone wants to comment on anything I wrote, feel free. Make it intelligent, no gratuitous abuse please X

OP posts:
RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 01/08/2021 22:46

ew.com/article/2013/04/18/harrison-ford-chewbacca-jimmy-kimmel-live/

This was just fantastic

Its an article cos my youtube isnt working on my ipad

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 01/08/2021 22:45

I was gutted when they killed him

I went to the cinema and made sure I hadn’t seen any spoilers

And then in the cinema queue two little ones at the early show ran to their mum and said ‘ han solo dies ‘ and i was like 😩

NiceGerbil · 01/08/2021 22:41

I mean yes I'm that era and Harrison ford was vv dishy. And of course my film critique via feminist specs (that are sadly permanent and ruin everything Grin) were not quite finished yet.

Indiana Jones
Star wars
What else did he do

In real life he's a bit of a nob as well I think.

Oh and in the first new batch of star wars films he just made it so obvious he didn't want to be there. Not even trying. You could feel the disdain oozing from the screen. (Hopefully not just me!).

And I though fucking hell mate. These films have made you squillions. And. Millions of people love them. They mean a lot to people.

So FFS don't take the cash and then wander about looking pissed off and bored as fuck with zero interest in even trying. I rather he'd not been in it tbh.

Hmmm.

Is this s diversion?

I think it's a better one than being told off for not being coal miners etc.

ChewtonRoad · 01/08/2021 22:38

Possibly stating the bleedin obvious, but I don't think Nefelibata33 has been posting in good faith since the original post.

All the declarations of "I love women", "I care for women" and "I would die for a woman" seem to be efforts made to convince himself as well as us that he is a feminist (he's not) and that if he repeats over and over how much he lurves women and cares for us we'll welcome him into the fold as a woman despite his XY status.

It's been a distraction all along - look here, see me claim I "love" you but don't look over there when I tell you you're insane for saying that a transwoman is a man.

If Nef is unhappy being a man then I'm sorry to hear it, but that unhappiness with your male-bodied self does not make you a woman. You and other men can deal with this, but in the interim a chat with an MH professional may be useful.

Thelnebriati · 01/08/2021 22:36

CandyLeBonBon IKR! He's had the surgery apparently and even thats not enough for them.
They had no trouble accepting him as trans the day before yesterday.

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 01/08/2021 22:22

Thigh holsters and black waistcoats FTW

I used to rock a waistcoat back in the day

FloralBunting · 01/08/2021 22:20

Han shot first

Ah, a connoisseur.

Thigh holsters and black waistcoats FTW.

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 01/08/2021 22:13

@FloralBunting

Oooh, fighting talk, there NiceGerbil.

Who's scruffy lookin'?

Grin

(I jest. I just wanted the Millenium Falcon and the confidence)

I liked the ensemble…i look good in black

Han shot first

FloralBunting · 01/08/2021 22:12

Oooh, fighting talk, there NiceGerbil.

Who's scruffy lookin'?

Grin

(I jest. I just wanted the Millenium Falcon and the confidence)

NiceGerbil · 01/08/2021 21:46

Oh ha ha this is brilliant!

OP a transwoman starts s thread to tell us off. Just be kind. Etc. And then I think flounces?

Luckily we've got a bloke to take the baton and tell us off about how good we have it.

Hurrah!

What a derail. Another thread please. I will post.

Final thoughts as looks like OP has gone.

I've come to the conclusion that these conversations boil down to.

This is what I want. You're being horrible to me (taking it personally). I'm nice I wouldn't hurt anyone why are you so horrible to me.

On the other side. It's not personal at all. It's about society, classes of people. About statistical risk. Etc.

None of it lands because it seems impossible for many posters I've seen to understand IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! in fact not even slightly. Not at all.

NiceGerbil · 01/08/2021 21:33

OP can you see that your posts are really inconsistent.

That you are saying others do things that you are doing a lot. Blanket statements being the main one-

'I can't emphasise enough how much I think all women are fantastic.'

The vast majority of men are total d*ckheads. It's not the fault of men, it's just the way they are, and we have a patriarchy, and that's how it is. Men are generally tossers, totally'

'Every group of people has good and bad elements. I guess there are plenty of women who are nasty. There are loads of men who are nasty.'

'I don't know what to say. Just because there are bad people in a group, it doesn't make everyone bad'

'I don't mean you any harm. No trans woman does, we are sisters'

', I hate men, the vast majority.'

No all women aren't lovely.
No all men aren't bastards.

Your posts come across strongly that you really really don't like men. You've touched on some reasons. Yes there are a lot of horrible men around. The vast majority of violent crime and almost all sex offences are committed by them. This is a global problem. I know that generally men have a strong tendancy to hierarchy, and strongly imposing a certain idea of masculinity. This causes real problems including for lots of other men. Loads of men feel that they do not fit in with, or at risk from certain other men. I can understand very well why groups not accepted seek their own places- example being gay men opening bars etc where they can relax etc.

Women are not 'not men'. We are different entirely. The things men do to each other and to everyone. We have enough on our plate trying to improve things for women and children. When we make progress it helps everyone. Same as when gay men fight for understanding acceptance etc progress is made. It's always slow though. And can go backwards.

What I'm trying to say is that disliking men as a group does not mean you are in a different group. Lots of women like men. I like men.

Thinking all women are brilliant is bizarre. Myra hindley? The nuns in the laundries? Women who organise drugs distribution or money laundering? Women who poison their partners?

It isn't real life. You prefer to company of women. So what? Not all women feel like that at all.

Your view seems to be based in what you want things to be like. Not what they are. You reduce both men and women to borglike clones. That's not a healthy way to think.

'Except for Harrison Ford in Star Wars, maybe'

No he was an utter dick. Seriously. Cornering Leia. Nasty. Just as a general point. I'm surprised you like him. The character was an egotistical, classically macho male. Goading those he thought were lesser. Not listening to those who knew better- arrogant. Loved himself. A dick.

Yes I enjoyed the films when I was s kid but still. Not a nice man. Interesting choice.

NiceGerbil · 01/08/2021 21:03

Just catching up.

Like I said I do worry when posters like OP start threads on what they would see as the lions den.

I don't understand what anyone would hope to gain by doing that. For me what I would see as the lions den would be incel groups maybe. I would no way go and post telling them to stop it. I mean how could it end well? They'd tell me to fuck off, probably with some awful threats. I'd feel shit. I would have achieved nothing.

Not saying we are like incels obv Grin but OPs mindset means that is how they see this topic.

Are you ok OP, honestly. This won't make you feel better.

Even though we won't do the things I just mentioned because in fact we're just big standard women who know that eg male people should not be imprisoned in the women's estate.

TheABC · 01/08/2021 20:15

@FloralBunting

OP fancies Han Solo, I guess.

I wanted to be Han Solo.

Reality is a stubborn mistress.

I always wanted to be Chewbacca! Still working on it, despite being 5"2 and human.

Flowers for @Chickenyhead. I am so sorry for what you went through.

Wine for everyone else patiently explaining everything and backing it up with evidence.

CandyLeBonBon · 01/08/2021 19:54

@RoseisMadder

Ahhhhh the military. Men fighting for their country! Who are they fighting? Why, more men! Feminists are against war. War is caused by dictatorship (men)
Patriarchy 101!
RoseisMadder · 01/08/2021 19:50

Ahhhhh the military. Men fighting for their country! Who are they fighting? Why, more men! Feminists are against war. War is caused by dictatorship (men)

AlfonsoTheMango · 01/08/2021 19:45

I have asked to have my post withdrawn as I meant to report the post, not quote it.

AlfonsoTheMango · 01/08/2021 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chickenyhead · 01/08/2021 19:41

Nothing inflames me more than men who behave like my dad did.
Grin

NecessaryScene · 01/08/2021 19:32

I wasn't even really convinced that patriarchy was a useful concept, or that misogyny really existed.

Until I saw this lot. Talk about eye-opening.

RedDogsBeg · 01/08/2021 19:30

From the OP: I hate the patriarchy.

and who demonstrated clearly how they are to their very core so steeped in the power of the patriarchy that they use that power against women without even blinking, that they use that power to demand women act and do as they say, that they dismiss any and all concerns evidenced to insist they have what they want as it is their right as part of the patriarchy.

CandyLeBonBon · 01/08/2021 19:03

@Thelnebriati

Sorry, I mean a mahoosive much bigger one. Its awful. I did think about sharing it as a thread yesterday but decided against it.

People are already saying 'but he's not really trans''.

I'll ask @mnhq to change it. I didn't think one was allowed to suggest someone isn't 'proper' trans though. I thought that you're trans if you say you are, no exceptions? It can't be both ways, can it?
334bu · 01/08/2021 19:01

These transmen would appear to agree with you Necessaryscene.

archive.md/l7xc1

Thelnebriati · 01/08/2021 18:59

Sorry, I mean a mahoosive much bigger one. Its awful. I did think about sharing it as a thread yesterday but decided against it.

People are already saying 'but he's not really trans''.

StrangeLookingParasite · 01/08/2021 18:57

JK Rowling posted a load of crap.

Did you read it? What about it was "crap"?

Are you American?

CandyLeBonBon · 01/08/2021 18:49

@Thelnebriati

I'll just say the info in that link needs a trigger warning.
I did put a trigger warning.