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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Dad had his first email with pronouns stated...

35 replies

Sittinginthesand · 31/07/2021 08:07

We’ve never discussed the issues before, he brought it up, it was an email from a charity he does stuff with from a woman he doesn’t know with a clearly female name. In his reply he said that he was interested to read her pronouns and wondered what the form would be for the Queen as she uses the third person, he is imagining we/us 🤣. He is thought it was very silly and knew all about what is happening in Scotland to civil servants. Gave me hope that the more it’s pushed the more people will be aware and push back (or just laugh and puncture the pomposity of it like my 70+ Dad).

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Tablow · 04/08/2021 14:50

Is 'us' used as a pronoun? If 'they' can be used then presumably this is fine too? Or does that suddenly make people question the alternate reality you've constructed for yourself rather than go along with it?

GreyhoundG1rl · 04/08/2021 12:18

Your Dad rocks!

beastlyslumber · 04/08/2021 12:16

My dad is great on all this stuff, too! He's in his seventies. He didn't take any of it seriously at first, but yesterday we were chatting and he told me he'd written an essay called 'Eddie Izzard, you are not a woman' :)

MidsomerMurmurs · 04/08/2021 08:53

Re verb agreement, I take a strong line that I will use “they” if demanded (let’s be honest, this is always a demand, not some kind of polite request) but I will not change my verb usage. It’s they is or they was from me.

And if that sounds silly to some people then let the gender police start insisting we change our verb agreement too.

Tablow · 03/08/2021 21:40

I read a non binary biog the other day and every two lines I kept on wondering who the other people were and then having to remind myself that 'they' was* just one person.

*Were??

lottiegarbanzo · 03/08/2021 21:35

Hours of fun.

There must be a memory game based on this. The type where you have to go around a circle, remember the list of things said already and add one each time. No repetitions.

lottiegarbanzo · 03/08/2021 21:33

In fact:

You/who?
YouHoo!
YouWhose?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 03/08/2021 21:19

Twit/twoo Grin

Skybluepinkgiraffe · 03/08/2021 21:16

Oh @Sittinginthesand your dad is fabulous. So many people seem to be lacking a sense of humour. I love it!

lottiegarbanzo · 03/08/2021 21:06

Oh and I shall continue to avoid anyone who uses:

himself/herself/themselves

lottiegarbanzo · 03/08/2021 21:01

May I make mine:

You/Who(?)!

Or, on a bad day:

Twit/Twoo!

AffronttoBS · 03/08/2021 20:53

That's true, we all use pronouns.

I will make mine:

I/me/you

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 03/08/2021 10:40

Dh was told he has to use pronouns at work now, he's chosen 'gardener' Grin

transdimensional · 03/08/2021 10:39

*circumlocution

transdimensional · 03/08/2021 10:38

All of us use first-person pronouns, surely. I use the pronouns I/me, for example. In my experience, almost everyone uses I/me as their pronouns. It is rare to talk about oneself in the third person.

Oddly, when people specify "their" pronouns, they aren't specifying the pronouns they use for themselves, but those that they demand that others use when speaking about them.

In the case of the Queen, I'm not sure whether her preferred pronouns are she/her or the quasi-pronominal circumlocations Her Majesty/Her Majesty.

Perhaps someday we will have a nonbinary monarch whose preferred quasi-pronominal circumlocations are Their Majesty/Their Majesty. (Oddly, convention dictates that both the subject and object form of the pronoun be given, e.g. "he/him", "she/her" - even though giving only one of the two would be entirely adequate... unless of course there are people who mix and match, who are masculine in the subject form and feminine in the object and vice versa - "he/her", "She/him"?)

BlueberryCheezecake · 02/08/2021 19:27

@Sittinginthesand

We’ve never discussed the issues before, he brought it up, it was an email from a charity he does stuff with from a woman he doesn’t know with a clearly female name. In his reply he said that he was interested to read her pronouns and wondered what the form would be for the Queen as she uses the third person, he is imagining we/us 🤣. He is thought it was very silly and knew all about what is happening in Scotland to civil servants. Gave me hope that the more it’s pushed the more people will be aware and push back (or just laugh and puncture the pomposity of it like my 70+ Dad).
The Queen doesn't use third person though, she uses first person plural. We/us is first person plural.
IndecentCakes · 02/08/2021 04:17

I don't really mind it, but I definitely now want to be we/us.

PrincessNutella · 02/08/2021 04:11

Still chuckling over what your dad said, OP. You are one lucky woman.

DdraigGoch · 01/08/2021 11:52

@MrsOvertonsWindow

I don't think people realise that adding pronouns outs you as a bit of a narcissist. Also with a hint of coercive control? Fretting about how others may refer to you when you're not there and desperate to control their language. They really haven't thought this through Grin
Either that or as a gullible sheep.
TheSlayer · 31/07/2021 13:05

These are my personal life processes: movement, reproduction, sensitivity, nutrition, excretion, respiration, growth
My pronouns are Mrs/Nerg.

Be rest assured I keep reproduction out of the professional sphere

Sparklfairy · 31/07/2021 11:52

We/us/one. The Queen gets three because well, she's the Queen Grin

Eyesofdisarray · 31/07/2021 11:38

Sittinginthesand dad 👍

AffronttoBS · 31/07/2021 11:23

Gosh. Yes, I agree @TeenMinusTests.

TeenMinusTests · 31/07/2021 11:21

This is a primary school within my area: www.ajkfed.com/
To be honest I think it would put me off the school rather than think 'oh how nice and inclusive'. I would also wonder what they were teaching the children...

AffronttoBS · 31/07/2021 11:18

OP, your Dad is brilliant.

We need more people with sense of humour in the younger generations.