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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

3 Friends- News is getting out

34 replies

Flatmeringues · 24/07/2021 20:07

I’m a long time lurker. I found this board a couple of years ago when I had started to become a bit worried, Firstly, I want to thank you I have learned so much and I’m in awe at the sheer intelligence on display here, when I feel something isn’t quite right but I can’t articulate why I feel like that, I come on here and someone is able to explain/has already explained, in a much more coherent way than me,what was worrying me. This board has allowed me to have the words to express my worries and fears. Thank you.

Im posting today because after a couple of disheartening experiences last year I’ve learned to be more circumspect about bringing up my gc views, I now always leave it to others to bring up and try not to dump everything I know/believe in one sitting.

However, something strange has happened in the last 2 weeks I have met 3 different friends that I haven’t seen since before COVID. We’ve never discussed this topic before. All 3 of them brought up the topic in a “have you heard about this” “can you believe it”.
One was most concerned about teenagers and puberty blockers and the topic had been brought to her attention by the Keira Bell case. Another works in Education and was worried about the susceptibility of Autistic girls. The third is a textile teacher and became aware through Jess de Wahl and the Royal Academy.

All three were worried, are reading around the topic and now aware of all the issues, I don’t think 18 months ago any of these women were aware at all.

I thought I’d share because It gave me hope.

These women are all mothers of teenage girls.

OP posts:
EmbarrassingAdmissions · 25/07/2021 10:57

Highame - There is so much emphasis and belief now that media influences us. it is taken as a given. I am not convinced.

I haven't read the original study but may I ask what you think of this?

Examining the impact of Italian local government corruption scandals on its citizens, the authors use an ingenious data source to measure the public’s level of dishonesty: supermarket’s self-service checkouts. Supermarkets carry out random checks on customers who have scanned their own groceries, with more than 200,000 such audits allowing us to identify how widespread dishonesty is and, crucially, how it changes over time.

The researchers use this to show that in the aftermath of a corruption scandal appearing in the media, shoppers are 16 to 30% more likely to intentionally under-report the contents of their shopping trolley. That’s a big effect that is at its strongest for four days after a scandal breaks

archive of Guardian item: archive.is/DWX4z

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/jul/25/government-corruption-more-likely-we-cheat-at-tills?CMP=fb_cif

I can't sort out if it's:
giving licence to do something that some people want to do but ordinarily refrain from (it would never influence people who do this all the time);
the only outlet for protest or revenge that people feel they have (even tho' it's directed at the wrong organisation);
joining in as an abuser or transgressor;
something else that is triggered by the coverage that falls away.

Masdintle · 25/07/2021 10:44

One must remember the surprise of the vote to leave the EU. All the reporting was that people would vote with what they knew, but the reporting was wrong. Nobody was listening to the concerns being raised by ordinary people, and when the people were given the opportunity to be heard, they surprised the London-centric media and politicians.

Same with the last general election. Who knew Boris would actually end up as PM? Momentum scuppered a lot of previous 'Red Wall' support due to their dogged pursuit of identity politics.

I live in hope that a lot of the damage done in secret, once exposed to the general public, will be able to be addressed.

My words aren't flowing very well today, apologies.

highame · 25/07/2021 09:16

It's raining here, can you tell?

highame · 25/07/2021 09:16

I've been interested in public opinion shifts for years. I did some research, some years ago and found that in many cases, we search out the media that suits us, rather than media influencing. There is so much emphasis and belief now that media influences us. it is taken as a given. I am not convinced. The last general election shocked so many people, the BBC especially, who had assumed this idea that the media influences rather than the other way around. In a similar way, Trump did much better than expected because the media in the US is Democrat, it was a shock that they lost seats but emphasis has been put on the (almost win) of the Senate - not enough if you think media is the driver of public opinion.

Nowadays, so many are still making the assumption that we are 'sheep' following whatever might be thrown our way. Many organisations have now fallen into this trap and believe their own hype. It is going to be interesting to see what happens when the 'silent majority' truly get hold of what has been happening, Kiera Bell being one of the biggest eye openers, along with prisons (though I haven't discounted individuals, they have less impact than the subject JKR, Jess etc). These big issues show where society is and foolish media people ignore at their peril because once something gets out there, the impact is at a very deep emotional and preservation level. It is no longer theory and something for discussion over the dinner table - it is real, and if it is a threat, the impact will be swift.

Great Op, similar experience, I mentioned at my art group (during the Covid break last summer), it was something about single sex spaces and they all added something GC and one said she had kept quiet because she thought (me being on the left) I would think her transphobic Grin

ArabellaScott · 24/07/2021 21:07

Let's hope so, OP. Although I would add I've been positive everything was just about to change for ... well. Five years, now?

malloo · 24/07/2021 21:00

Thanks for posting this, always good to hear something positive! I think people are starting to wake up to this, there's been quite a lot recently in the papers. Once people get past thinking you're making it up, because it all sounds really far fetched, they invariably come down on the side of reality and common sense. Its just a matter of time before it reaches a critical mass then the whole thing will crumble and disintegrate. Gosh I am feeling optimistic today!

MrsOvertonsWindow · 24/07/2021 20:47

What a lovely post Flatmeringues

The posts on the LCBT children board encapsulate the dilemmas for so many parents who can see that their child has been caught up in social contagion yet feel powerless to challenge what is happening. And numerous other parents and teachers are watching in horror as social contagion runs rife through peer groups.
Fortunately these desperate parents generally get considered and thoughtful responses on Mumsnet.

Whatthechicken · 24/07/2021 20:31

I only became aware of the issues because of my daughter. I used to put up with everyday sexism, like it was just a thing that women had to deal with. Fuck that shit, I’m angry now!!

My daughter is adopted and, as feisty as she is, she is so vulnerable in certain ways because of her past and the trauma she has suffered. I see these issues as a fight for her future. She’s only 5, but I’m already teaching her (thanks to the wisdom of the witches on here).

She went to the circus recently, and the acrobatic performer raised her fist when she was being applauded. My very tiny daughter raised her fist in response, whilst others were clapping and she shouted ‘I’m a women, hear me roar’. So proud, she clearly doesn’t understand properly, but she will. I am determined that she will be more savvy than me, more confident than me and more able to call this bullshit out for what it is. At 42 I am only just learning about feminism, I see feminism as an integral part of her learning and so important for her future.

Helleofabore · 24/07/2021 20:14

These women are all mothers of teenage girls.

In my personal experience, it is the mothers of teenagers in general that are more aware. Except for a male friend who read about it in Madness of Crowds, it seems to have past the rest of my friends by completely unless they have teenagers.