Menopause Cafe confusion

Transmen should be welcome to come along, of course they should. Females experience menopause, I have no issue discussing these issues (or, fwiw, sharing any spaces) with transmen. But the event should clearly be for females.

Trans men and non-binary female people. Fine.

Males, no.

Surely then Nell you need to phrase it much more specifically

“Open to women and transmen”

Making it open to anyone regardless of gender means men can come along.

Menopause is not a spectator sport.

[Disclaimer - I'm not yet near menopause, but have gone through my fair share of discussing childbirth, subsequent injuries, pregnancies, breastfeeding etc - so I think I have some relevant experience to draw on even if it's not quite the same.]

I actually think there's a reasonable case for inclusion here, in the sense that -

• I would see those who are biologically female but not identifying as such (trans men, nb people who are female bodied) as being absolutely part of this conversation, as they will also experience menopause.
• some women (often very sadly) go through menopause extremely young, and may not want to be immediately quizzed on that as soon as they step through the virtual door
• menopause is relevant to younger women who may want to prepare for it (I'm politically and personally interested when I hear older friends discussing their experiences), and older women who may want to reflect on past experiences.

I'd be more comfortable if they had phrased it in a way that referenced this stuff, like maybe "open to all for whom menopause is relevant, regardless of age and gender".

I think that if you take the view (I do) that there are circumstances where sex is more relevant than gender and therefore eg do not want male-bodied sex offenders in women's prisons, it's logically consistent to recognise that (at least sometimes) trans-identified people with female bodies should be included in women's spaces.

Yeh nah! I’ve no intention of setting around discussing the sad state of my vag with men there no matter how they present

It’s a good idea to have a space to discuss menopause and I also agree with your point. There’s no way I would attend or dial in to a menopause event that was open to anyone. Could you message the organizer, thank them for setting up a needed event and explain the problem as you have to us?

I don't care what gender they identify with so long as it is just female sex.

Nope. You're spot on. I have less than zero inclination to discuss these issues with males listening in, unless they are medical professionals (even then, I'd prefer females, and I'd prefer females who've gone through it themselves, too, if it were possible).