Collective Noun

OP is trying to do right by the children he coaches in his limited capacity as their coach in a way that doesn't disadvantage the group as a whole (unless you would be offended to be referred to as 'everybody' while in a group and insist on all groups of women ONLY being greeted with "hello, women!" at all times, in which case shine on you crazy diamond) and you're using some kids you don't know to score imaginary points. Good job.

How about ‘girls and the self-obsessed’? Although it could become onerous quite quickly

If it's a girls' team, then there's a lot to be said for leading the ethos of it being 'for girls who are not ashamed of being the brilliant girls they are'

If a girl is ashamed or embarrassed to be a girl, or holds negative connotations with being a girl, or assumes the other girls 'identify' with... whatever else negative she doesn't want to associate with, the very last thing I would do as an adult is to accommodate those harmful ideas or lend them validity.

You don't mutate a positive girls' team into something else to accommodate a child who is clinging to damaging ideas of girlhood.
You don't mould the positive girls' team to suit the child's negative ideas. You mould the negative ideas instead.

The team is for girls. The child who is a girl (but doesn't want to be) is welcome, but the terms of entry are that everyone on it is a girl who accepts this is a girls' team.

I would examine that, as it is a girls' team, everyone will be referred to as 'girls'. If she does not consider herself.to eh a girl, she can find an appropriate alternative.

The other girls have the right to be recognised as, celebrated and called 'girls'!

Yes, it is odd that if you can't handle being called a girl you'd join a team explicitly called a girls' team, surely?

I think that's a seriously bad idea,

You're right of course.
The whole thing just pisses me off - the girls are such lovely, lively and normal girls and they are coming out with this bullshit. I just want to wake them up - its not my place too tho, obvs, and anyway, as DH always says to me, 'don't get involved'.

We're in this mess because adults have stood back and allowed children with zero understanding of nuance, discrimination and bullying to dominate the discourse about human rights - resulting in women being stripped of our identity, language and rights.

Make a considered decision and use it - but don't allow them to argue the toss - some of them will dominate, derail and bully others into acquiescence - and another place where girls can be girls will be lost. In this case - #nodebate

Reading the comments, I agree that all of the girls should feel welcome in the group and that seems to be what the OP wants too.

‘Hi Guys’ in a singsong voice seems to be the preferred greeting by girls round here.

Guys is fine.

My plan is to say that its a girls team and they can leave if they're not girls. There are plenty of boys teams.

They are girls. I think that's a seriously bad idea, reinforcing their unrealistic notions and pushing them towards irreversible damaging 'treatments'. It's a girls' team so surely it should be open to all 'juvenile human females', regardless of what they want to label themselves. It's not a 'single gender' team. The boys' team is for juvenile males, not young females. It may be physically unsafe for 'NB' females or 'trans boys' as puberty progresses.

If you go down that route then you also weaken the position re allowing 'transgirls' to join the girls' team.

DH is in the same position.

The girls haven't gone public yet, they've only told their friends.

My plan is to say that its a girls team and they can leave if they're not girls. There are plenty of boys teams.

If you don't want to face it tho, (and I don't blame you - these are hugely sensitive times - eye-roll ) yeah, I'd call them the team name or team colours.

You should decide and stick to what you decide. You are the coach, the leader. Therefore they need to see authority from you. I would probably go with "everyone" myself. But I wouldn't ask them. I think it would make them feel even more insecure than they are already. We need grownups in this culture.

'Small Humans,' my old science teacher used to call us. I quite liked it.

Plus it gives the message that a whole group can be dictated to (or ‘be kind’ in modern parlance) by a small minority (who very well - the odds are - may change their minds. And if you get it wrong, then what - the class gets derailed by a lecture/tantrum/strop? If they want to discuss gender politics then ‘take it outside’.

It’s not like one child is profoundly deaf so her teammates learn basic sign language to make her feel more of a part of the team.

I assume that as they are of the non binary identfiying age they sre adolescents so actually uaing something like team when addressing the whole group. And use their names when addressing one or two of them? Do not use guys as it ie not a neutral term allthough pretends to be. I also find folks cringey as associate it with 'fairy folk'.

Agree that guys is male. These two guys who walked into the pub are always a couple of blokes.

It’s nice of you to care about this, OP. I would stick with girls as it is the Girls team.

Tell them not to be so bloody daft.

Well, kind of this really... But what term would you use if it were a mixed team? Unless they're in single sex schools, teachers have to do this all the time and either say 'Year 7' etc or everyone/you lot/guys/folks/people or children if it's for little ones. Of course... you don't actually need to use a noun there at all.

Agree with others

Team

Team name

Everyone

Not guys, I don’t make a fuss about it but it is male by default

You mentioned that you also run a mixed team, could you offer that as a choice for those players who don’t identify as girls.

I think the OP said that was for younger kids.
And surely any suggestion these girls - who are hopefully only temporarily playing with 'identity' - should be made to feel unwelcome in the girls' team is a very bad one. It might be a bridge burning moment, and reinforce their daft idea that there's actually anything different about them.

The point about 'why are they in the girls team then' is surely that actually, they know fine well they're girls, that they're female - and that's a good thing.

I think the OP should think through what to say if the matter arises naturally, but in general maybe best avoid making the naming into a big issue. Use neutral terms more but try not to look mortified or apologetic if you accidentally say 'girls'. Talking about the history of the sport (and maybe other sexist sports) and how important it is there aren't just men's and boys teams would be good, and not directed at anyone in particular. Ironically, I assume these NB people won't overly mind references to 'men and boys 'as - mercifully - they don't identify as boys.