Page 21 | Question re relationships with trans people

2021ismyyear · 2021-07-12T18:04:27+00:00

Twitter is full of people that are prepared to defend trans rights at any cost. I’ve seen some hideous things written about people that believe otherwise. The insults against jk Rowling were hard to read. We saw it the other day when maya won her appeal case. People over ran social media with insults against “TERFS” etc. I assume these people would have zero issue dating a trans person in that case? If trans women are women and sex doesn’t matter and it’s widely accepted that you can switch gender, then will those people start dating trans people? Will we see more women dating trans men for example? Will tinder do away with any search filters? If not… why?

Regularsizedrudy · 12/07/2021 20:19

@334bu

*don’t think people are claiming there is zero difference, just that both fall under the category of woman? If a trans woman is fleeing domestic violence where is she supposed to go if not a women’s refuge?*

In what way does a male transwoman fall into the,same category as a person of the female,sex? What do they have in common with this group that other males don't have? As to refuges , why would.a male person trans or otherwise go to a female only refuge?

What are you on about “male transwoman”?
Lots of trans women look like stereotypical women and if they have fully transitioned they will have breasts and vagina so surely it makes sense for these people to go to a women’s refuge?

NiceGerbil · 12/07/2021 20:19

I think some posters are missing a lot of context here and agree without that, OPs post seems very peculiar.

AfternoonToffee · 12/07/2021 20:19

Blue I am not sure if you are genuinely not understanding or just being disingenuous. I suspect the latter.

It's a bit of a Shag, Marry, Avoid type situation (i.e. absolutely hypothetical).

NiceGerbil · 12/07/2021 20:18

I must have missed why refuges came into this conversation?

Sorry. Can anyone point me to the post?

dyslek · 12/07/2021 20:18

The OPs point is that many, possibly most, of the people testicularly screaming at women for not agreeing that twaw dont actually believe it themselfs.
Its a mantra that the movement demands be repeted (but not actually believed).
Another example thats even funnier of the non belief of the true believers is the irony that if tw were actually w, no one would really give a shit about them.

NiceGerbil · 12/07/2021 20:16

@BlueberryCheezecake

Also, don't the trans people get a say in this? Bold of you to assume they'd want to date you.

Well the push is the other way round if you look at the situation with homosexual female humans.

BlueberryCheezecake · 12/07/2021 20:16

@334bu

*don’t think people are claiming there is zero difference, just that both fall under the category of woman? If a trans woman is fleeing domestic violence where is she supposed to go if not a women’s refuge?*

In what way does a male transwoman fall into the,same category as a person of the female,sex? What do they have in common with this group that other males don't have? As to refuges , why would.a male person trans or otherwise go to a female only refuge?

Same reason anyone else goes to a refuge. Because they've been made homeless or been abused or raped or assaulted, and are seeking a place of safety.

Regularsizedrudy · 12/07/2021 20:16

But lots of people ARE willing to date/marry trans people so I don’t understand your point?

NiceGerbil · 12/07/2021 20:15

'Like call me strange, but I don't think men should be encouraged to only support equality for women they consider effable.'

You can say fuck! It's fine.

This is the second time you've suggested that men support those they want to fuck. This one is more roundabout but same idea. It implies that straight men support women plenty so it's not right to have an idea they should only support those they want to fuck.

In my experience straight men as a group do little to support women especially those they want to fuck. In fact they enact laws and push social norms and behave in ways that actively detriment women. Especially those they want to fuck.

334bu · 12/07/2021 20:11

don’t think people are claiming there is zero difference, just that both fall under the category of woman? If a trans woman is fleeing domestic violence where is she supposed to go if not a women’s refuge?

In what way does a male transwoman fall into the,same category as a person of the female,sex? What do they have in common with this group that other males don't have? As to refuges , why would.a male person trans or otherwise go to a female only refuge?

BlueberryCheezecake · 12/07/2021 20:11

Also, don't the trans people get a say in this? Bold of you to assume they'd want to date you.

NiceGerbil · 12/07/2021 20:10

For more info-

People often male say TWAW and so female people who say erm. People with penises do not belong in places where they did not used to be, for reasons of privacy, safety, comfort etc. The answer is that's transphobic because TWAW.

How many of these men if straight would feel the same way about their sex life including dick is well. Straight men usually don't do dick as I'm sure we're all aware.

Hypocrisy.

Of course everyone can date who they want. That goes without saying surely.

BlueberryCheezecake · 12/07/2021 20:10

@2021ismyyear

No. So if I came across a trans person being abused in the street I would help… I’d call the police and help as much as I safely could. It’s human nature to help people in distress.

BUT I don’t believe or claim that TW are W. I would not date a trans person myself. I’m not attracted to trans men. I can still stand up for a humans rights and make that call to the police to stop any abuse.

I think people that truly believe TWAW should be willing to date/marry trans people

What if they're already married?

Seriously, this is such a bizarre conversation. "Oh you think trans women are women? Prove it by f*cking one". Like call me strange, but I don't think men should be encouraged to only support equality for women they consider effable.

Original poster

2021ismyyear · 12/07/2021 20:07

No. So if I came across a trans person being abused in the street I would help… I’d call the police and help as much as I safely could. It’s human nature to help people in distress.

BUT I don’t believe or claim that TW are W. I would not date a trans person myself. I’m not attracted to trans men. I can still stand up for a humans rights and make that call to the police to stop any abuse.

I think people that truly believe TWAW should be willing to date/marry trans people

OP posts:

AfternoonToffee · 12/07/2021 20:06

@Regularsizedrudy

Not really sure what you’re trying to say? You think people that defend trans rights won’t date them? Erm well I’m sure some would and some wouldn’t, it doesn’t change what they are saying about their human rights. I would date a trans man if they were funny and good looking.

No, I think the people who shout TERFS and TWAW the loudest are probably very firm in the belief of who they should date. Like a certain man who shouts TWAW but knows exactly who to look for so he can become a Daddy.

It seems you think that one can only support trans rights if they also buy into TERF name calling and TWAW.

Imasoulman · 12/07/2021 20:06

If they are fully transitioned why would it be an issue, love shouldn't be that shallow.

NiceGerbil · 12/07/2021 20:05

Regular-

There are plenty of people saying there is no difference

Hth

If you think there is then you can choose from being called

Genitally obsessed
A genital fetishist (if you are female who is homosexual)
A biological essentialist
A t**f

That sort of thing

BlueberryCheezecake · 12/07/2021 20:03

@2021ismyyear

Trans people are deffo “dateable” I know a few myself that are in happy relationships. but I’m saying that most trans activists would not be willing to date a trans person themselves despite on the set face saying that there is zero difference between women and trans women or men and trans men.

You're saying that based on zero evidence, though.

Doyoumind · 12/07/2021 20:00

I agree OP's point is about putting your money where your mouth is. PPs beat me to it with the guy who said TWAW except when it comes to having sex with one.

BlueberryCheezecake · 12/07/2021 19:59

OP, you seem to be talking about a very large and diverse group of people, basically anyone who's ever stood up for trans rights on social media. Of course some of them would date trans people, or are dating one, or have dated one. Equally, some of them might not, for various reasons. Some of them might be unavailable for dating, in which case the question is irrelevant. It's really honestly strange you think there's going to be a single yes or no answer to your question. And even stranger you seem pretty convinced the answer is no, when it's actually highly likely that some people who have trans partners would also be people who'd be prepared to speak up about trans rights on twitter. And it's even stranger you seem to think a person can only care about equality for a minority group if they're sexually attracted to that minority group.

Original poster

2021ismyyear · 12/07/2021 19:59

Trans people are deffo “dateable” I know a few myself that are in happy relationships. but I’m saying that most trans activists would not be willing to date a trans person themselves despite on the set face saying that there is zero difference between women and trans women or men and trans men.

OP posts:

Regularsizedrudy · 12/07/2021 19:59

@2021ismyyear

I think some people are missing the point. There are MANY people that claim there is zero difference between me and and a trans women. We should both have rights to go to women’s refuges, prisons and spas. People are arguing that is their trans peoples right to be treated exactly like I get treated, as a woman.

Yet they would be unwilling to date a trans women themselves. I’m asking why? Why are there so few people that would be willing to sleep with a trans woman?

I don’t think people are claiming there is zero difference, just that both fall under the category of woman? If a trans woman is fleeing domestic violence where is she supposed to go if not a women’s refuge?

Original poster

2021ismyyear · 12/07/2021 19:56

Yeah the lesbian thing is part of the whole argument. I think people just like arguing and jump on bandwagons. You see it all the time… one minute it’s all #bekind and the next they are writing abuse against someone they hate on love island.

I think there are huge amounts of people online that are willing to abuse people like jk Rowling and shout “TERF” and TWAW very loudly! But they would be unwilling to date a trans person and the reason why? It doesn’t sexually float their boat… deep down they don’t see TW the same as W.

OP posts:

NiceGerbil · 12/07/2021 19:55

Ah ok there is a lot of history around this and lesbians. Worth looking into.

Understand if you're not aware of it.

Regularsizedrudy · 12/07/2021 19:54

@NiceGerbil

The point is that there's plenty of examples of lesbians being advised that to rule out dating transwomen is transphobic.

That's the point.

That wasn’t in the op though? It read to me that op was saying “these people that defend trans rights I bet they wouldn’t actually date them because trans people = undateable” I could be wrong of course I’m not trying to be contrary but that’s genuinely how the post came across to me.