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Original poster

Question re relationships with trans people

542 replies

2021ismyyear · 12/07/2021 19:04

Twitter is full of people that are prepared to defend trans rights at any cost. I’ve seen some hideous things written about people that believe otherwise. The insults against jk Rowling were hard to read. We saw it the other day when maya won her appeal case. People over ran social media with insults against “TERFS” etc.

I assume these people would have zero issue dating a trans person in that case? If trans women are women and sex doesn’t matter and it’s widely accepted that you can switch gender, then will those people start dating trans people? Will we see more women dating trans men for example? Will tinder do away with any search filters?

If not… why?

OP posts:
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8
NiceGerbil · 15/07/2021 02:02

@Barheim

Your sexuality? you are a woman, who is attracted to men.

False. I'm a man who is attracted to men. For which I was assaulted, which you push under the rug and minimize because you prove time and time again that the person without empathy is you.

You are aware that female people globally are well acquainted with violence and sexual violence I'm sure.

I'm sorry you were attacked.

Was it a male person/ people who attacked you? You don't have to say.

NiceGerbil · 15/07/2021 01:58

That's not personal its a general comment.

Personally I think that eg going to gay clubs if you are the opposite sex to the clientele is arrogant. Ditto joining dating apps etc for homosexuals.

There are loads of other options for meeting partners.

NiceGerbil · 15/07/2021 01:55

Of course people should date whoever they want.

However.

The redefinition of gay/ lesbian as same gender attracted instead of same sex attracted is deeply homophobic.

The counties around the world that have laws against homosexuality, up to and including the death penalty. And the countries where homosexuality is so unacceptable that beatings, corrective gang rape of lesbians and murder are not unusual.

They are not to do with gender ID.

They are about same sex attraction and sexual activity with people of the same sex.

Barheim · 15/07/2021 01:54

@PolkadotZigZags

Why would you not wish to discuss it though? It is central to the beliefs you are asserting so why is it such a problem for you to define what the term means?
Because I've had those conversations seventy million times, they always end in bad faith interpretations, and they always start with 'explain what a man is????' 'what is a man???' 'how are you a man if you don't do xyz male stereotype tell me sweetie'.
PolkadotZigZags · 15/07/2021 01:48

Why would you not wish to discuss it though? It is central to the beliefs you are asserting so why is it such a problem for you to define what the term means?

Barheim · 15/07/2021 01:45

The general lack of reading comprehension in asking it when I stated prior that I do not wish to discuss this, especially with someone who's solely engaged with me in bad faith, such as to attempt to mock me for my gender or to chase the homophobia I faced with transphobia?

PolkadotZigZags · 15/07/2021 01:30

@Barheim

What is a gender?

not
/nɒt/
adverb
used with an auxiliary verb or ‘be’ to form the negative.
"he would not say"

discuss
/dɪˈskʌs/
verb
talk about (something) with a person or people.
"I discussed the matter with my wife"

this
/ðɪs/
determiner
1.
used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced.
"don't listen to this guy"

Hope that helps!

This says it all really.
Themeparklover · 15/07/2021 00:31

I'm Pansexual and would happily date a trans individual, many of my close friends have transitioned and although I agree with certain Olympics backlash on physical strength debates etc. I am in full support and do not discriminate regarding partners, friends colleagues etc.

dyslek · 15/07/2021 00:24

I know quite a few men and women who have been assulted for believing they are famous persons (I worked in mental health setting back in the day)

Barheim · 15/07/2021 00:23

Have a trans child-in-law, for reference

I genuinely hope none of them ever do, for the child's safety.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/07/2021 00:23

Being hospitalized with a collapsed lung after being physically assaulted for being a (insert homophobic slurs here), removed from my house by relatives but put into my inbox on return from the hospital which lead to me moving for my safety and making sure never to bring up my sexuality have taught me, yes.

I'm sorry you have been attacked.

dyslek · 15/07/2021 00:22

I do worry about the younger generation somewhat.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/07/2021 00:21

OR the average MNetter is more interested in ignorantly bashing trans people than being pro-women. ALL women.

We are pro-all women. Not interested in you having a trans "child in law", it doesn't give your views any greater authority over anyone else's, because this is about material reality v ideology, not your personal bias.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/07/2021 00:17

Do you think you're doing anything except contributing to that?

How is this poster on Mumsnet "contributing" to trans people facing violence and abuse, exactly?

dyslek · 15/07/2021 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

entropynow · 15/07/2021 00:14

@AfternoonToffee

Because the average person on Twitter isn't actually that bothered about people who are trans, it is an anti-woman cloak to hid behind.
OR the average MNetter is more interested in ignorantly bashing trans people than being pro-women. ALL women.

Have a trans child-in-law, for reference

Barheim · 15/07/2021 00:14

Your sexuality? you are a woman, who is attracted to men.

False. I'm a man who is attracted to men. For which I was assaulted, which you push under the rug and minimize because you prove time and time again that the person without empathy is you.

dyslek · 15/07/2021 00:12

Your sexuality? you are a woman, who is attracted to men.

You are hetrosexual.

dyslek · 15/07/2021 00:11

They never answer do they...

Barheim · 15/07/2021 00:11

You know the suffering and violence gay men have faced (and continue to face in many many places) and you think you can appropriate that?

Being hospitalized with a collapsed lung after being physically assaulted for being a (insert homophobic slurs here), removed from my house by relatives but put into my inbox on return from the hospital which lead to me moving for my safety and making sure never to bring up my sexuality have taught me, yes.

CuriousPanda · 15/07/2021 00:10

Also, you try to emphasize with trans people for once. Do you think trans people do not face violence and abuse? Do you think you're doing anything except contributing to that?

CuriousPanda · 15/07/2021 00:09

@dyslek

Because its trendy?

Because your feelz?

How do you think gay men feel about that?

Try to empathise with others less fortunate than yourself.

Quite a decent number of them are sick of you invalidating them and telling them they're actually "bisuxeual" just because they're not excluding trans men the way you think they "should" be doing.
dyslek · 15/07/2021 00:08

Because its trendy?

Because your feelz?

How do you think gay men feel about that?

Try to empathise with others less fortunate than yourself.

CuriousPanda · 15/07/2021 00:07

@dyslek

You know the suffering and violence gay men have faced (and continue to face in many many places) and you think you can appropriate that?
Some of those very same men are telling you their attraction includes trans men, and you're the one talking over them telling them they're actually bisexual.
dyslek · 15/07/2021 00:06

You know the suffering and violence gay men have faced (and continue to face in many many places) and you think you can appropriate that?