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Original poster

Question re relationships with trans people

542 replies

2021ismyyear · 12/07/2021 19:04

Twitter is full of people that are prepared to defend trans rights at any cost. I’ve seen some hideous things written about people that believe otherwise. The insults against jk Rowling were hard to read. We saw it the other day when maya won her appeal case. People over ran social media with insults against “TERFS” etc.

I assume these people would have zero issue dating a trans person in that case? If trans women are women and sex doesn’t matter and it’s widely accepted that you can switch gender, then will those people start dating trans people? Will we see more women dating trans men for example? Will tinder do away with any search filters?

If not… why?

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334bu · 13/07/2021 00:25

You have LGB Alliance claiming gay people were a peaceful movement (no riots whatsoever!) and didn't want changes in law or language lol.

How on earth did you reach that conclusion, of course they wanted laws changed, in Scotland it was still an illegal act to have gay sex in 1980. As for language , what language did they want to change?

CuriousPanda · 13/07/2021 00:25

@rightplacerighttime

Dating is inherently discriminatory. Being trans doesn't give you a special pass. Nobody sensible gives a damn about rules made by would-be social engineers.
Yeah, you're free to discriminate on individual basis, but you don't to exclude trans people from entire spaces.

Also, don't make any explicitly discriminatory preemptive proclamations lol, just turn down anyone you're not attracted to.

OldCrone · 13/07/2021 00:25

To be more specific, it was about men being free to love men and women being free to love women without repression, shame, and stigma.

Yes, and since men are male and women are female, it's about same-sex attraction.

rightplacerighttime · 13/07/2021 00:22

Dating is inherently discriminatory. Being trans doesn't give you a special pass. Nobody sensible gives a damn about rules made by would-be social engineers.

CuriousPanda · 13/07/2021 00:22

@Lifeinthelastlane

No they really, really didn't. Gender my arse.
To be more specific, it was about men being free to love men and women being free to love women without repression, shame, and stigma.

None of gay activism was based around any of the "Only Sex-Based XX Chromosome Large Gamete Adult Human Female!!" bullshit, that's the part you wrote into "same-sex attraction" after the fact.

Fieldofgreycorn · 13/07/2021 00:17

Why are there so few people that would be willing to sleep with a trans woman?

Probably because the fact that they ‘used to be men’ is a major turn off for many people? A fact that’s probably very painful for many trans women to come to terms with.

So what’s your point?

CuriousPanda · 13/07/2021 00:17

@Mibbiesaye

That's quite the rewrite of history.
You have LGB Alliance claiming gay people were a peaceful movement (no riots whatsoever!) and didn't want changes in law or language lol.

You are the ones rewriting history.

334bu · 13/07/2021 00:16

Gay people fought for the right to love people of the same gender, not for strictly defined "sex-based attraction" (which is a term that originated in conversion therapy language)

I really think you should reconsider this post.

Lifeinthelastlane · 13/07/2021 00:16

No they really, really didn't. Gender my arse.

Mibbiesaye · 13/07/2021 00:13

That's quite the rewrite of history.

CuriousPanda · 13/07/2021 00:11

@334bu

*I do not give a damn about your transphobic definitions, and I am under no obligation to abide by them.*

Believe what you like but don't deny the existence of same sex attraction. Homosexual people have fought long and hard for the right to love others of the same sex and treating that as transphobic is beyond the pale.

Gay people fought for the right to love people of the same gender, not for strictly defined "sex-based attraction" (which is a term that originated in conversion therapy language)
CiaoForNiao · 13/07/2021 00:10

I know you can't extrapolate from one comment but...

I was discussing trans issues with my brother recently. He genuinely believes that if you've had "a sex change" you have literally changed sex. He also thinks all trans women have had surgery and are, therefore, women. He thinks we should be allowing them into women's spaces.
I asked him if he would sleep with/date one. Once he'd got his pea sized brain around the fact I meant hypothetically, as he's married, he said "ewww no. I'm not gay"
So TWANW thenHmm

And it's not transphobic to say I wouldn't date trans people. I like male presenting men. With dicks. So I wouldn't want to date a trans man. And I wouldn't be attracted to a trans woman.

334bu · 13/07/2021 00:06

I do not give a damn about your transphobic definitions, and I am under no obligation to abide by them.

Believe what you like but don't deny the existence of same sex attraction. Homosexual people have fought long and hard for the right to love others of the same sex and treating that as transphobic is beyond the pale.

ProudExclu · 13/07/2021 00:04

@Imasoulman it’s not ignorance. Have you seen the state of most of them? Are you seriously telling me you think your average TW looks anything like a woman? Have you got eyes? I worked with them. I lived with them. I was abused by them. I’ve plenty of experience with dozens of trans women and I know three that I’d consider good looking as a trans woman and one still needs to learn what size shoe they are.

Lifeinthelastlane · 13/07/2021 00:02

If they are of the same sex what did they need to transition from?

CuriousPanda · 12/07/2021 23:53

@334bu

*Do with that information whatever you will.*

It might make me think you are a homophobe who denies the existence of same sex attraction. However, I am sure that you were not trying to imply that homosexual people should include people of the opposite sex within their dating pool?

I don't think trans people are "people of the opposite sex". I do not give a damn about your transphobic definitions, and I am under no obligation to abide by them.
334bu · 12/07/2021 23:51

Do with that information whatever you will.

It might make me think you are a homophobe who denies the existence of same sex attraction. However, I am sure that you were not trying to imply that homosexual people should include people of the opposite sex within their dating pool?

CuriousPanda · 12/07/2021 23:49

@Lifeinthelastlane

As a straight woman, the trans people I could be attracted to would be trans women.
What do you think is the basis for attraction; external physical appearance, or gametes and chromosomes?
Doyoumind · 12/07/2021 23:45

What have spaces got to do with sexual orientation? I'm confused.

Lifeinthelastlane · 12/07/2021 23:43

As a straight woman, the trans people I could be attracted to would be trans women.

CuriousPanda · 12/07/2021 23:39

@Doyoumind

'Panda* you've made it clear that having a defined sexual orientation that you don't want to deviate from is an issue. We're all rejected at one time or another for being who we are. I'm afraid living as a woman means being judged by your appearance every day of your life. That we've reached 2021 and it's deemed progressive to state there's something wrong with being sexually attracted to the kinds of people we're sexually attracted to is astounding.
Excluding trans people from an entire sexual orientation is transphobic, yes. You don't have to be attracted to any specific trans person, it's not "wrong" to be attracted to whoever you attracted to, but to say trans people don't belong in certain spaces at all is inherently discriminatory.
Lifeinthelastlane · 12/07/2021 23:32

@NiceGerbil

'The important part is to not explicitly exclude any and all trans people.'

Gay men/ lesbians. Should not explicitly exclude opposite sex trans people.

That's akin to racism.

Is that a joke? I honestly don't know anymore. Being gay or lesbian means not being attracted sexually to the opposite sex On what planet is that akin to racism
Doyoumind · 12/07/2021 23:24

'Panda* you've made it clear that having a defined sexual orientation that you don't want to deviate from is an issue. We're all rejected at one time or another for being who we are. I'm afraid living as a woman means being judged by your appearance every day of your life. That we've reached 2021 and it's deemed progressive to state there's something wrong with being sexually attracted to the kinds of people we're sexually attracted to is astounding.

Lifeinthelastlane · 12/07/2021 23:15

@Imasoulman

If they are fully transitioned why would it be an issue, love shouldn't be that shallow.
Is it shallow to be straight? Or gay? Is all sexual orientation shallow?
CuriousPanda · 12/07/2021 23:12

@Doyoumind

Oh God. Not equating being trans to being black again. Offensive and a scraping the barrel argument. It's always the same.
I genuinely don't care how you feel about it, I'm telling you how trans people feel about it. Being explicitly excluded, to trans people, is just as insulting and denigrating, and will react to that accordingly by decrying disclaimers about "not dating trans people" as transphobic.

Do with that information whatever you will.