Am I non binary?

I think if they are passing laws on this, we should all be 'educated' so that we can understand what a gender identity is, what each look like and where we fit.

As that hasn't happened I get lumped in cisgender, which I can't be, because I don't have a gender identity of what it is to be a woman. I literally have absolutely no clue what a gender identifying woman is. None. Nada. Zip. So yes, I am, nothing.

Do you have a gender identity?
No.

Man and woman are sex based words and have been always until relatively recently.
When the suffragettes agitated for votes for women. When women fought at various points against laws that saw them as property. When women said it's appalling that it's legal for a man to rape his wife (law changed early 90s FFS).

Was that about gender identity? Are you comfortable to day none of that was to do with sex?

I don't know what you mean by gender identity. I don't identify as man or woman as you would see them. I'm a person. That's it.

If you have no sense of gender identity then you are agender and therefore trans. You are incorrect.

Also. There's a difference between feeling non conformist and being non conformist. a big difference.

I'd also like you to tell me what the stereotypes for women are please. Seriously. I'm interested.

I felt confused, out of place, I didn't understand why I was assumed to be good at/ place importance on/ enjoy xyz... Rather then being seen as a person.

And this goes back to maybe, 5 or 6 and has never changed.

I was a feminist way before i knew the word or anything about it. It's my deep and visceral reaction to sex roles/ gender stereotypes etc etc

I would be.. non binary now? Or agender.. Or something.

This idea you just opt out if you hate the stereotypes etc etc is removing all the girls who would have been Feminists. Now. They're not girls. Not women. In fact. It's an idea that if you don't comply then you're not in that group. Those who stay in the girls women category. They like their place. Sex objects, hair, etc etc.

So along with all the other consequences. A massive number of future Feminists are... Gone.

The impact of all this is massive. And detrimental to so many groups that are still fighting for some basic things, even in three UK let alone around the world.

Can any of say we are 'not non binary'? That is the question !

(Disclaimer: I don’t actually want to marry Hugh Grant by the way 🤣]

Someone needs to ask Tiresias or Caeunus.

Of course, and that’s the age old philosophical elephant in the room - how can anyone know what it’s like to feel like a man or a woman without actually being one? We all know we can’t experience what it’s like outside of our own individual heads, so it makes zero sense for anyone to say they know they feel like someone else. You might as well say you feel like a Pacific Islander or a zombie or a unicorn or a hedgehog, it’s all the same - pure imagination.

“I feel I’m an X” is really just “I feel like I have an imaginative idea of what I imagine being an X feels like”. Unless you genuinely believe in shared consciousnesses or a Platonic realm of ideal forms or mingled souls, or have magically invented the first ever device in recorded history that lets you see into someone else’s mind, we all know that it’s all just fantasy and play and imagination.

And fantasy and imagination and play is nice, but we don’t “validate” other fantasies in life - I can pretend I’m a millionaire when I’m looking at houses on Rightmove, but Coutts isn’t going to let me open an account with imaginary money. I can have daydreams about marrying film stars if I like, but if I turn up at Hugh Grant’s house he’ll call the police. Why should dressing up in some clothes and a wig and pretending you’re actually a woman, or cutting your hair short and pretending you’re a sexless non-binary being, mean that we all have to go along with it as well?

If you claim to be non-binary what even are you “identifying” as? There are no actual androgynous beings, we all actually have genitals underneath, so you’re just projecting a fantasy and demanding everyone else go along with it. That’s for kids, not grown adults.

Chickenyhead, you can't, can you? 🤷🏼‍♀️

And that's why the fury goes from 0 to 60 in seconds and the vile name-calling starts. It's why we are told, "No debate!" Because nobody has any definitions that aren't like shovelling smoke.

How can I say I don't?

If I don't understand what a gender identity actually is, how can I have one?

I am genuinely developing an aversion to she/her pronouns as it increasingly seems to mean 'happy to agree I fit feminine stereotypes'. Before I became Dr I used to have the same feelings towards Miss (does not yet belong to a man), Mrs (belongs to a man) and Ms ( has political views about feminism).

So therefore, longstanding dislike of my association with female pronouns - I must be non binary.

But what is it based on? It's not a conceptualisation of feeling green in a sea of gravy. It's about how masculine and feminine you feel and thinking that your particular combination of masculine and feminine isn't binary. Isn't it?

But we're all a mixture of masculinity and feminine. For a long time I identified much more with my masculinity than anything to do with being a woman. Now I'm just me and I don't give it a huge amount of thought. I happen to be female. And as a woman is an adult human female then I happen to be a woman. Doesn't mean I have to behave or dress a certain way.

Would someone hacking into my mind really detect a discernible difference between me and a non binary person?

I have worn my hair all lengths, though in the 70s my one brother's hair was longer. I wore jeans pretty much non stop for 15 years, though I'm a bit fat for them now. I dressed as a man in a reenactment society and clobbered with the best of them. I have always liked science fiction and fantasy. I can still cope pretty well with technology. I'm married to a man and I've carried and borne two children. Was I a man then? Am I one now?

If a person with a vagina feels that they are a man what do they do to show that? Their wear their hair short, don’t wear make up/dresses, wear male clothes and undertake male hobbies

What does being a “man” feel like? I have short hair. I wear jeans, T-shirt’s. I have never worn a dress or heels. I walk the dogs, jog and cycle. I have no interest is sewing or knitting. I have given birth to, and raised 3 children. I have been married to a man for 35 years.

In your opinion Am I a woman or a man or non binary??

What is “male clothing”? Every woman I know wears jeans/trousers. Their clothing doesn’t identify their sex. Perhaps you could enlighten us? @EastWestWhosBest

How we dress, the length of our hair and the activities we like are not really relevant.

But in the world of trans/non binary it is completely relevant.
If a person with a vagina feels that they are a man what do they do to show that? Their wear their hair short, don’t wear make up/dresses, wear male clothes and undertake male hobbies.

I don’t agree with it, but if your actual body doesn’t define your gender then your actions and behaviours must do, outwardly at least.

The truth is, everyone (with the possible exception of those with a foetal anomaly) are binary. Men and women. Two sexes. That’s binary.

We are each very clear of our sexual identity. We each have primary and secondary sex characteristics appropriate for our sex. It’s very simple really.

How we dress, the length of our hair and the activities we like are not really relevant.

Everyone is non-binary. People who identify as non-binary seem to believe there are people who are 100% compliant with gender stereotypes.

If you are going to ask the question ‘am I a woman ?’, then you first need to define woman

Can you define “woman” or “man”? How does it feel to be a woman/man? How do you know if you’re not a woman/man? Sorry. I’m obviously not down with the “trendy” . I’m just confused as to how IM supposed to feel as a woman.

I’m just me and people accept me for who I am - or not. Who cares really 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t need a label. Nobody would say, “Here comes Kimmy. She’s a woman/ non binary/ straight/lesbian…. So a label means nowt. I am me. No label will ever change me. What’s your point??

Oh so someone can waltz into the discussion and completely dismiss my feelings and tell me I’m wrong?

If you are going to ask the question ‘am I a woman ?’, then you first need to define woman.

If woman means a person with a vagina etc then yes I am.
If it means a person who conforms to the gender stereotypes of a woman and identifies with other women, then no I’m not.

It looks like somebody is committing literal violence and erasure of us non-binaries! We are what we say we are and how dare anybody deny our existence

What is non-binary, in that case

Yes. Please explain 🤯🤷🏻‍♀️

Perhaps agender is more accurate than non-binary but agender is considered a non-binary identity.