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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Wi Spa pt 2: talking to the manager

60 replies

FlyPassed · 28/06/2021 18:39

I can't see this was posted already, apologies if it's a duplicate.

Original MN thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4281706-pushback-at-wi-spa-in-los-angeles

Part 2: talking to the manager.
Our hero holds the line, the manager can only say that they cannot discriminate on the basis of gender identity.

I hope this brings lots if sunlight

www.instagram.com/tv/CQfqaRDnS36/

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PrincessNutella · 30/06/2021 21:41

The part two of the video was really excellent. It was really maddening to hear from the other woman about the 9 year old and how the dick swinger was just inches from the girl's face.

hazandduck · 30/06/2021 11:16

[quote Siblingquandary]@EyesOpening
This is why third spaces are needed, respect and dignity for all.

I am so sad to have the deep ingrained misogyny in society reveal itself to me so blatantly. I've got used to ignoring it most of the time even when it directly impacts my life but this is so undeniable I can't look away... Multiple women and girls are silenced because one male says so.[/quote]
Apparently the spa had a third space. So they have a women’s, men’s and a third space. I’m going from a video by Karen Davis, she said that’s what the spa advertise, I can’t get on the website to see, had a strange ‘blocked access’ message come up! Trip advisor is also not allowing new reviews to be posted! Shocking.

EyesOpening · 30/06/2021 11:05

@DdraigGoch

The school has since set up a smaller, isolated section of the locker room for girls to change in, until the matter is resolved. Heaven forbid that the male be asked to change in the third space...
If it’s the law, I guess there’s not much they can do at present, I wonder what’s to to stop anyone going in that smaller room though. They could I guess, although I don’t know if legally allowed, to have separate children’s and adults’ changing rooms (as it’s a school, the girls won’t have their parents with them) to at least protect the minors
MissSeventies · 30/06/2021 10:58

Make room for the men! I genuinely don't understand what is wrong with people that they are happy with young girls being exposed to male genitalia in the name of 'equality'. Seems more like men being allowed to do whatever the hell they want and us ladies have to just suck it up or stay in the house.

DdraigGoch · 30/06/2021 10:41

The school has since set up a smaller, isolated section of the locker room for girls to change in, until the matter is resolved.
Heaven forbid that the male be asked to change in the third space...

Siblingquandary · 30/06/2021 10:39

@EyesOpening
This is why third spaces are needed, respect and dignity for all.

I am so sad to have the deep ingrained misogyny in society reveal itself to me so blatantly. I've got used to ignoring it most of the time even when it directly impacts my life but this is so undeniable I can't look away... Multiple women and girls are silenced because one male says so.

EyesOpening · 30/06/2021 10:30

@lionheart

This was posted on Twitter with the following heading:

'Amid a right-wing boycott push, Wi Spa defends its decision to accommodate trans patrons, citing California law.'

The responsers are not having it.

On that thread, someone has posted about this www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2227562/amp/Colleen-Francis-Outrage-transgendered-woman-permitted-use-college-womens-locker-room-exposing-himself.html

I don’t think I’ve seen this before

AsTreesWalking · 30/06/2021 06:42

How did it all end?
I wonder if he would have left if the adult women had gathered round to laugh at him? Probably that would have been just too hateful though.

Igmum · 30/06/2021 06:08

Thanks for posting OP, she is great. Absolutely a contender for the GC Superheroes.

Helleofabore · 30/06/2021 04:32

Thanks for posting the LA Mag link.

This was interesting about a client at another spa in 2020.

A rep for Century Day and Night Spa on Olympic Boulevard recalls a similar situation just before the pandemic shut them down in spring 2020 in which a trans woman (“with everything reflected female on her driver’s license”) caused an uproar among cis gender female clients by exposing male genitals in the female pools and lockers. “[She] wouldn’t really use the spas, [she] just sat at the corner of the pool with [her] feet in the water and [her] legs spread or took front-facing showers,” the rep recalls. “People began to feel uncomfortable. It became very disruptive.” When the spa finally confronted her, she was adamant that the spa should attempt to normalize young girls and women viewing male genitalia.

“Typically,” says the rep, “transgender people are very mindful of not only their own comfort levels but the comfort levels of people around them. This person was not respectful.”

It is looking like ‘they just want to pee’ (and don’t forget the illuminating twitter conversation between two trans influencers this year mocking women’s toilet habits) and ‘no trans person wants to be naked in front of other’ is not going to stand much longer.

Yes, I am sure many DO want to pee or just get changed. But denial that there is a potential for abuse is no longer going to work.

Nor is the excuse ‘there are no problems in other countries with self id’.

NiceGerbil · 30/06/2021 01:24

@vivariumvivariumsvivaria

The men standing round not saying/doing anything - might be partly because she didn't look like she needed help, she was perfectly capable...but, I suspect the truth is that most men operate on "bros before hoes".

But, then, DH is doing my nut in so I'm on a bit of a downer as far as people with Y chromosomes go today.

No I don't buy that either. At all.

This dynamic is so common.

I remember once at work s bloke said something really sexist.

I said hold on that's not fair blah.

He argued he wasn't being sexist.

It went on for s while.

I was looking to my male colleagues who were all near and listening. Nothing.

In the end one said yeah it was a bit sexist. Hooray!

Over the afternoon 3 of the other men came up and quietly told me he was sexist, it was awful, can't believe he said that etc.

Standard standard.

I have loads of stories like that tbh.

lionheart · 30/06/2021 01:24

This was posted on Twitter with the following heading:

'Amid a right-wing boycott push, Wi Spa defends its decision to accommodate trans patrons, citing California law.'

The responsers are not having it.

NiceGerbil · 30/06/2021 01:19

@peadarm

Absolutely right about the lack of male solidarity - though in this case having more men pile into a room of naked females?
No need for that at all.

Ask the women if they were ok.

Say to them that's not right.

Talk to the people on the desk ask them what's going on. Why aren't they doing anything.

That sort of thing.

No need to pile in anywhere.

Ritascornershop · 29/06/2021 17:24

I wonder, too, if on some level men feel that to back up a woman is a slippery slope. Who knows what could happen if women are allowed to get uppity?

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 29/06/2021 12:58

That's a good point, Pleasant. I have seen that on awful reality shows - that one in Oz where they get married to someone they don't know is an example of "the boys banter". It's vile. and I watch it

PleasantBirthday · 29/06/2021 11:43

I suspect the truth is that most men operate on "bros before hoes".

I think there's also a group bonding thing with men, bonding by excluding or embarrassing or humiliating women is a thing.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 29/06/2021 11:11

The men standing round not saying/doing anything - might be partly because she didn't look like she needed help, she was perfectly capable...but, I suspect the truth is that most men operate on "bros before hoes".

But, then, DH is doing my nut in so I'm on a bit of a downer as far as people with Y chromosomes go today.

ScreamingMeMe · 29/06/2021 10:58

[quote ShagMeRiggins]highame and ScreamingMeme et al, I’ve started a separate thread about the Supreme Court refusal in order to not derail this Wi Spa thread. Link is here if you’re interested:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4283517-US-Supreme-Court-refuses-to-hear-school-s-transgender-toilet-case?watched=1&msgid=108620129#108620129[/quote]
Thank you! Must admit I find US law and politics quite complicated.

Needmoresleep · 29/06/2021 10:17

Sorry, I looked for a thread, but did not see it. However relevant here as well.

Needmoresleep · 29/06/2021 10:16

peadarm, indeed.

The woman in the video understands. We all do. But the judge doesn't, nor does much of the US press. And here the Washington Post is far less woke than the NYT which is deep into Guardian territory.

The US is in a strange place on a number of issues. I just hope we can push back on their cultural imperialism.

ShagMeRiggins · 29/06/2021 10:11

highame and ScreamingMeme et al, I’ve started a separate thread about the Supreme Court refusal in order to not derail this Wi Spa thread. Link is here if you’re interested:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4283517-US-Supreme-Court-refuses-to-hear-school-s-transgender-toilet-case?watched=1&msgid=108620129#108620129

peadarm · 29/06/2021 10:04

@Needmoresleep

www.washingtonpost.com/politics/courts_law/supreme-court-transgender-bathroom-gavin-grimm/2021/06/28/e51b47e6-d815-11eb-bb9e-70fda8c37057_story.html

I don’t know if this link will work, but the Washington Post reported yesterday that the Supreme Court refused to take on a case that would have allowed a school to restrict access to changing rooms based on sex not gender. The US is lost….

The judge referred to “fantastical fears and unfounded prejudices”.

Not a TRA, but the judge!

peadarm · 29/06/2021 09:59

Absolutely right about the lack of male solidarity - though in this case having more men pile into a room of naked females?

FlyPassed · 29/06/2021 09:55

There's a link to youtube in the other Wi Spa thread, in my op. Also on youtube you can see a dissection by Karen @ You're Kidding Right, which was good

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