The use of the term 'trans widow'

It seems like the "be kind" admonition is losing its effectiveness to control women. In this thread we are seeing replacements such as: thoughtless, lack of empathy, insensitive, cruel. Be alert to these words and don't be fooled. As Karen at You're Kidding Right says: "Stay strong, ladies".

Transwidows are widows #nodebate

They’re all widows, it’s just that transwidows are a subset of widows, and those whose husbands have died are another subset of widows and just need to find another word for themselves. Perhaps C*s widows?

No?

Sounds eminently reasonable to me.

women using the words of their choosing to find and support one another does tend to sit uncomfortably with some people

The lolling hour is upon us

Trans widows are trans widows due to the trans status of their husbands, perfectly simple, perfectly descriptive and perfectly acceptable.

You, Quaggars accept the mangling of language and a host of other terms being appropriated that do a lot more damage and sit a darn sight more than just uncomfortably.

and as for this

Sits uncomfortably with me too

how completely and utterly astonishing

women being coerced into sexual acts that make them unhappy by their husbands?

OK, I really don't get this - as in, of course that is vile, but what has that got to do with someone being trans?

this kind of coercion is a common thread in many of the transwidows experiences I've read about

Sits uncomfortably with me too, as the person isn't dead.
It doesn't make someone a widow.

So it's not OK to appropriate the word 'widow' but it's fine to appropriate the words 'woman/wife/mother'?

And you don't see any double standards there?

@Quaggars Do you get equally upset and post in other forums to say so, about people using the term golf widow or football widow or other sporting use?? Or is it just these women that offend you?

Sits uncomfortably with me too, as the person isn't dead.
It doesn't make someone a widow.

women being coerced into sexual acts that make them unhappy by their husbands?
OK, I really don't get this - as in, of course that is vile, but what has that got to do with someone being trans?
Someone doing that is an abuser, whether the person is trans is neither here nor there, surely

I believe that whatever these women choose to call themselves is up to them. They are sidelined, silenced and have been severely damaged by this movement. None of what happens to them is their fault, they entered a relationship in good faith and have been lied to used and in some cases seriously abused. Here we are on a thread victimising them even further that makes me sick to my stomach.

@TinselAngel I am so sad that you have been facing attacks following the article and now from people who believe that the experiences of transwidows is a matter for 'debate'. I can't imagine how hurtful it must be to have your own history re-written against your will.

Many, many women (including myself) lurk on the Transwidows threads and have read the website and are silently cheering you on.

Prawn, I found your post very moving. The love from and for your husband just shines through.

I have seen some damning posts on mumsnet over the years I have been here, but I've seldom seen anything as unempathetic as MancunianSeagull's post.

I am divorced. I know that had I been widowed I would have received more support, I know that had my children's dad died they would have had much more support from their friends than they had when he just dumped them and disappeared. For me, life would have been easier (financially and practically, if not (possibly) emotionally) had he died.

How much more must those who have lost their husbands/fathers to transitioning feel? My children lost their dad to another woman; children whose dad transitions lose their father to the entire trans movement. Instead of some people disapproving of their father's affair, many people will hail the father as a hero, as brave, as standing up for what he believes in (whatever that is).

They and their mothers are left to pick up the pieces, to try to put their lives back together, with little or no support from friends, family and acquaintances, all of whom have been convinced that their dad/husband is more important than they are.

My sympathy lies 100% with those who have been treated badly, abandoned, deserted, replaced with an ideal. They can call themselves whatever the fuck they like, and anyone judging or criticising them can go to hell as far as I'm concerned

A name that is no longer in use can be referred to as dead. A human being whom you divorced but who is still alive is NOT dead.

A human being who has XY chromosomes and a penis and testicles is NOT a woman.

See how it goes...?

MancunianSeagull The term TransWidow makes me sick to my stomach.

Tough.

Well, this is going well isn't it MNHQ?

The term TransWidow makes me sick to my stomach.

What's the term TRAs use, something about "die mad, lolz"?

The term TransWidow makes me sick to my stomach

that's interesting. what else makes you sick to your stomach?

women being coerced into sexual acts that make them unhappy by their husbands?

women being deceived by their husbands?

men compulsively spending family money on transitioning?

or is it just women who have been subjected to male abusive having words that allow them to find and support each other that make you sick @MancunianSeagull?

So is this what MNHQ intended to happen when they corralled off FWR?

Go round berating all abuse victims do ya pal? Make you feel righteous, does it?

Despicable.

@MancunianSeagull receipts??