The use of the term 'trans widow'

You don’t know who one of main trans widows is, even though article mentioned mumsnet you still didn’t bother to look to see what they been discussing.

Is this one of those posts where just come to tell women off and expect them to shut up.

Seen some nasty comments on Twitter aimed at trans widows irony is from those who have co-opted use of woman.

I note that it is again women who are receiving criticism for their language and not men.

Where is your criticism for the use of the word dead naming OP?

If you are married to someone who it is now stated is literally dead this is very different from a standard divorce.

Worse it is described as literal violence to reference by name the person you are actually and have been married to.

This isn't a situation that these women have chosen. I would suggest working on the language of the men who have put these women in this situation.

Once these men refer to their situations without reference to death there would be less similarities to widowhood.

But, as someone who is neither a widow nor has a trans spouse, my opinion is - obviously - not the one that matters

It is very irritating when people decide to be offended on behalf of others. It minimises our experiences and makes things feel even worse when people decide for us how we feel, without even asking. So thank you for acknowledging that.

I think the emotional turmoil of being a trans widow is a very similar experience to actually being widowed. I have no issue with the use of the term. It's a good description. I say that as an actual widow.

Yes, but it was rather stream of conciousness with little evident point.

She’ll probably see this thread and you will have added to her burden by scolding her and those like her at an already difficult time.

Shame you didn’t feel the same boundless compassion about her and the other trans widows on this board as you do about the widow who wrote that article, eh.

If, however, I was expected to chant "trans widows are widows" and acknowledge that they were the most marginalised and suffering of all widows, and should be centred in all discussions of bereavement (under threat of being called a literally violent bigot if I disagreed), I might change my mind...

yes.

Widow is a word that has a specific meaning, a meaning that cannot be allowed to change

IT has been used in this manner for hundreds of years. You're centuries too late for that objection.

If you were a geeky cool statistician like me, you'd know that. Maybe a thesaurus would help??

"If, however, I was expected to chant "trans widows are widows" and acknowledge that they were the most marginalised and suffering of all widows, and should be centred in all discussions of bereavement (under threat of being called a literally violent bigot if I disagreed), I might change my mind..."

Extremely well put.

What a beautiful, thoughtful, and considerate post @PrawnofthePatriarchy

I now have lovely thoughts thinking of you having lovely thoughts about your loving husband 💐💐❤️💐

Yes, what trans widows need after all the shite that's been dumped on them, is another steaming wheelbarrow.

Widow is a word that has a specific meaning, a meaning that cannot be allowed to change. Think of it like the word "woman".

Surely trans-widow and trans-woman are very similar if opposite terms. Both adopt an existing word with a very specific meaning (adult human female and wife whose husband has died, respectively) and added another word to it in order to suggest the comparison with the underlying word, whilst fully acknowledging that neither are the actual word because the entire meaning has been changed by the word added on the front. The former is not an actual widow nor is the latter an actual women, because if they were the "trans" word wouldn't be there.

A horse is a four legged, large mammal you can ride - a seahorse is not a horse at all, but it incorporates the word "horse" because of the superficial similarity, but the word sea is what completely changes the meaning and makes absolutely clear that we are not talking about horses at all.

Actually, thinking about it, it's a bit like trans-gender as well.

Gender is a series of sex based stereotypes and the related issues. Trans-gender is comparable to gender (the same stereotypes), but is actually very different. The addition of the word trans makes it clear that stereotypes are no longer sex-based (ie in the word trans-gender, gender doesn't literally mean the same thing as when gender is used alone, as the stereotypes are being attached to the opposite sex not the stereotypical sex as you would expect when using the word "gender")

Twitter scumbags.

Tinsel

How do you feel about that, OP? Thoughts?

I suggest you take the same approach with those using the term "golf widow" and "dead name" .

I read the replies to that tweet and saw support to transwidows from bereaved women too

I, like most others here, associate the term in response to trans people being able to use the terms 'dead name' and for the complete erasure of their life as a husband.

So I agree, if the term 'dead name' is acceptable, and transwoman/transman is acceptable, why is transwidow not acceptable.