Transphobic hate crime

I am glad your child is getting more comfortable with who they are. I agree that there is a different discourse about victimhood these days, and I wonder if it is in part that young people, even sheltered ones, feel like they are growing up in quite a doom-laden world - climate change, bad jobs, unaffordable houses, whatever. So this is a way to articulate something much bigger. I remember as a teen feeling such incommunicable pain that I couldn’t fit in with the other girls and I both wanted independence and feared it, and I absolutely would have grabbed the internet with both hands, had it existed, and probably terms like non-binary. Uni was amazing though and I flourished there. It’s hard to explain to young people that things will get better but that they do need to summon up their courage, go out and keep exploring in order to find their own place in the world. We can be their safety net but “validation” of pain by agreeing they are a victim when actually they are not, is maybe not our job. Parenting is hard! I am happy things are going better for you.

The constant stream of SM of all sorts, and mainstream press etc saying (incorrectly) that trans people are in massive danger when they go anywhere. That there are hordes of violent people who want to kill them, all over the place. That self harm, depression, suicidal thoughts are pretty much guaranteed. That you family will almost certainly throw you out. Etc etc.

The amount of mainstream orgs and media pushing these 'facts', which are not true. Often to children or people who are vulnerable. Is appalling.

Why?

I would have thought it was good news that those things are not true. Most of the time good news is celebrated. With this, it seems really important to push this nonsense with seemingly no concern for the people consuming the messages.

Anti-trans violence is a MALE problem.

Something off about this.

There is a news story on the bbc website about my ex being “transphobically abused” in the street. It wasn’t transphobia tho the person pictured is someone who knows of me through friends and witnessed him abusing me and locking me and my children out in the rain while he sat inside eating with his daughters. A lot of people had kept their mouths shut because I wanted them to. So when people found out I’d left they stopped being nice to him. I imagine that this person would’ve made comments related to the fact he thinks he’s different to other violent men because he puts on a dress and probably worded them in a vulgar way. But you can hardly call it transphobia when it’s fuelled by the fact he witnessed this person abusing a woman and her kids. And he would’ve still done it if he’d not been trans just minus the dress comment.

Two of the most vocal people who get angry about my ex and like collecting evidence of his crimes are a trans woman who is having the full SRS and isn’t fetishy at all, very popular and loved has made huge life decisions such as not having children (despite them being a very family centred person) or starting a relationship whilst questioning and a gay cross dressing man who describes their identification with the trans label as “if I could push a button and actually turn into a female person I absolutely would but I’m a man who likes me women’s clothes and girly shit. How could I live “as a woman” when actual women don’t have to cut off a cock or spend hours and thousands of pounds just to get people to see you’re even trying to be female”. These two people would say the same. Are they transphobic too??

Ironically my ex is the most homophobic and transphobic person I know and has made several horrendous comments about my gay and trans friends and then when I left he immediately tried to contact them believing they were obligated and would side with him due to the trans label. He completely invalidated my identity as a bisexual and a woman. He made me feel horrendous guilt and wrongness for being female to the point I felt I wasn’t. I believed I wasn’t human. If anything, trans people who are not just men with fetishes end up feeling more obligated to side with me and if they’re men with fetishes I don’t want them on my side. Because they struggle with their identity they are horrified that someone who claims to be trans would want to do that to someone like me. I am also the first person a few gay and trans people have come out to and asked advice from.

So maybe I’m biased. But I’m not sure there isn’t more to this.

I don't know your situation or how old your child is OP.

Social media is a disaster on this topic.

Example.

My DD friendship group at school all have various trans identities. When DD was younger my rule was I could look though her messages at any time.

One time there was one from a school mate which said that on X date, transphobes were going to go out and murder trans kids. The friend said she was scared.

I had s chat with DD about it obv. How likely do you think that is? That s load of people in the UK will go out and murder loads of children? How will they even know which children are trans? Etc

There is a lot of really extreme scaremongering on this topic. Please be cautious esp ( depending on age) what your child could be reading.

Thing is that assuming this is not true.

(A fair assumption at this point).

In order to get... ? Attention on twitter? Make people think more about violence against trans people.
I mean I don't know why obv.

And given this story has apparently been spread far and wide.

They have:

Said the police in Bournemouth took no action and essentially said go away to a report of a car with armed violent men going around trying to get people in the car and attacking and cutting them with no qualms

That is pretty scary for people who live there. That these men are still out there. That the police would say not interested to someone reporting that.

There are consequences here. For people who live in that area. Who will not Google and just think oh shit that's terrifying. I can't trust them at all.

OP I remember now your previous post about your child - are things any better? I can see why this article would worry you and your child, but I hope your child can learn to be reassured more by the facts that trans people are not more threatened in the UK than anyone in the general population (thankfully), rather than being made anxious by ambiguous articles like this. Wishing you both well navigating between fact and social media, and if I remember correctly navigating between your principles that sex matters, and your child’s beliefs about their gender identity. I hope your child finds more empowering beliefs about themselves soon.

If 3 or more grown men pinned down a female there would be bruises on arms/wrists, probably knelt on.

They would've had to hold the head very still to make those perfectly positioned, extremely superficial scratches, with gloves on, which would decrease sensitivity.

How could they bite an attacker with something shoved in their mouth?

The first reaction of a violent aggressive man to being bitten would not be to get up and leave.

No evidence of it ever being reported to the police.

Male violence should not be tolerated but I'm not buying this. It's either made up or highly embellished.

There is a reason even Wikipedia wont accept Pink News links as source.

I think there is more to this story than we are currently seeing....From the outset I thought it very strange-the knife wounds to the face are very superficial-not what you'd expect from a violent struggle with a group of men.....There was no punch to the face....

I'm in no way advocating for more violence but I think this might fall into the category of potentially self inflicted. Truth will out eventually though.

The police should visit Ruan to take a statement and get the details and description of the attackers or to confirm that this didn't actually happen and it's a completely made up story.

I’m going to honest and say I simply don’t believe this happened as the person claims it did.

It is very unusual that a group of men armed with knives and guns would cut the victim in this way. Rape, yes, sadly. I do have some professional knowledge of types of offending.

I live in a small UK market town where every day on our local police Facebook page they post bulletins about the knife and gun crimes they have dealt with, that's EVERY DAY ! Knife and gun crime is a big priority with the UK police, and arresting women for made up crimes against men of course, rape is not so much of a priority.

The question I'd be really interested in your fridge response OP.

Was why did you post this on MN?

Why was that your first thought?

Rather than I dunno.

Googling to see if there was any more info
Tweeting the force in question with the item and asking for an explanation

Why here?

ANewCreation-

Glad you're back!

I'm interested in why when you saw this you thought I'll start a thread on mumsnet?

Why did you want to believe it? It's on Twitter I think. If you're concerned about a serious crime that the police have ignored don't you want to find out if anything happened next?

To be clear. I don't go around googling everything.

The idea that the police in Bournemouth would not be interested in

A group of men in a car
Driving around telling people to get in
Who are armed with knives
And ready, with no trepidation to get out and cut someone's face on the street

That's a really serious crime.

The get in the car... Why? That's never good.
Armed. Knife crime is a real focus in the UK and has been for some years.

The police not being interested?

I was also confused as to why if they had knives they didn't take him in the car to do whatever it was they wanted in the first place.

Have you been to Bournemouth?

All in all I think it's highly unlikely that this thing circulating is true.

Yes the police are shit. Mine are the met. I have never trusted them.

I just can't see Bournemouth police saying sod off to this. Not least because of this armed group of violent men still at large in the area.

No I don’t. I was trying to express scepticism although this may not have come across. I live in an area of central London which is rife with knife crime and going by my own experience, the police (despite being seriously overworked here, and, yes, occasionally incompetent) simply would not ignore something like this.
For what it’s worth, I think the superficial knife cuts on the Insta pics look self-inflicted. The cuts look rather carefully placed. This is speculation on my part, and obviously I could be wrong, but there do appear to be a number of additional tentative cuts as well. No bruising or anything, no signs of having been roughed up by a scrum of men. It’s just not what I would expect to see from a group of aggressive armed men.

In Bournemouth!

Prick News can fuck off by the way.

"There are real fears and fantasy fears and I am concerned that a sub culture that is marginalised may sometimes major on the fantasy fears to everyone's detriment."

Yeah.

That's why courts rely on professional women like me to produce accurate, verifiable reports. Just musing like.