Mermaids Training...

In some ways I would love to be invited to Mermaids training. Obviously I would need my brain to be at the GI Joe end of the scale that day though, not Barbie, so I understand the answers when I quiz the trainer about things like sterilising children etc.

Also I (my brain is at the Barbie end of the scale this morning! ) vaguely remember something about jelly baby brains in previous training, so I would ask for clarification on that (although I'm sure someone here will be able to recollect that in full!)

@OttilieStonelady I second the suggestion to come over to FWR where you will get far more intelligent conversation and support. I would definitely be recording the session (would you have to ask for permission? It would be interesting to see the response if you bought out a tape recorder and asked for permission...)

you’re not the only to feel angry, you’re not alone.

I am no bigot. I am a black woman and it pains me that the training around inclusivity re ethnic minorities was not compulsory but this appears to be. I just don't really want to go.

I’d start by going to HR and asking them why this recent training was not compulsory when the Mermaid course is.

You then have a starting point for discussion, which isn’t “I don’t want to go to the mermaid course”.

Point out that other courses aren’t compulsory so why is this one. It may make them reconsider their stance.

Mostly talking about young people and children though... mission creep I assume (get in everywhere...£££)

mermaidsuk.org.uk/training/

Don’t they focus on children...? Why are they in a workplace anyway (let alone anywhere these days)?

I'm also furious on you behalf this seems to be compulsory where other diversity wasn't.

Op id Gp and take notes, copies of handouts etc. Report back.

I'm quite furious this thread has been moved.

The odd aibu around sex and gender has gone into aibu and remained, with important debates. Are they all going to get shoved here? Or is it that it's not a real aibu?

I'm sorry you are feeling so down op, it must be very upsetting to watch people who have obvious privilege peacock how oppressed they are.

On a lighter note you can buy those mermaid tails from finfun.com. if you teach yourself the dolphin stroke they are so much fun. *Disclaimer not for children and take a friend, as they have a tendancy to flip you upside down when you are learning.

I can understand your distress if other aspects of diversity are not treated with the same regard. I would be interested to k ow what they have to say, but I agree that diversity training can be really helpful but it should cover much more than gender identity.

Dear Ottile,

Firstly, welcome. And don't worry about getting everything perfect. Nobody does. You are new. Take your time. You will get used to things. It's okay.

Secondly, I am sorry to hear how much you are struggling. I know when I started to realise what debates were taking place about women's rights (about a year ago), I was really quite distraught. And very angry about how I felt discussion was being suppressed. What really helped me was finding a small group of like-minded women, here and amongst friends and colleagues. Please reach out to some women you trust and get some support. Don't try and do this alone.

Take care.

Ottilie -if you aren't angry then you aren't paying attention!

Yes this is awful, sounds like you have recently figured it all out. It is horrifying.

I'm mad that our workplaces aren't more disabled friendly. Wfh is now accepted etc. And yet is the focus on that? No on 0.01% of the population. There are at least 10 million disabled adults of working age in the UK. Who is caring and promoting them? Drastically underfunded charities. Who do not have an entire bloody month focused on them.

Ask them where GI Jane features on their scale.

Ask them about their GI Joe and Barbie gender scale, and why males and females in Britain in 2021 are being asked to define their 'gender identity' according to white American dolls designed in the 1950s. You could point out the white American cultural imperialism at play and how inappropriate it is to expect women to pledge allegiance to patriarchally defined stereotypes.

@OttilieStonelady I have nothing to add but you have my empathy. It's shit and it's horrible that you can't talk about it in real life.

Once you have taken a breath, try to find some groups of like-minded women online, it can help to be able to talk and to be able to find some humor, however dark. Reading here and the feminist twitter has introduced me to some amazing women and that is a positive side of a very difficult issue.

No need to apologise for the thread, it is fine - some people just love to pick, which is unnecessary particularly when you have said it is your first MN post.

Anyway OttlieStonelady I just want you to know you aren't alone because you do sound very upset (and I have been there too). I want you to know it is ok to take a step back for yourself. If you want to chat do DM me.

I'm not sure why you've just joined specifically to post this thread really.

Ignore the thread police, OP.

Massive sympathies - and agree with others, ask about other diversity initiatives -
If there really is no other way of getting out of this, I'd call in sick on the day.

First, OP, ignore the people having a go.

Second, you might find it helpful to have a look at the resources on safeschoolsallianceuk.net/resources-2/factsheets/, especially the one about Dept for Education guidelines on what can & can’t be taught in schools around gender identity. I know this context is a bit different but it might give you some ammunition.

Fuck off with the accusations of bigotry, eh?

If bigotry illustrates a complete lack of receptiveness to a contrary opinion, I'd align this with threats to dox, threaten, kerb-stomp and rape women - and note it is only women - who refuse to align themselves with a particularly pervasive ideology.

As for all the murk surrounding Mermaids over the past year - not least their about-face that no one can be born in the wrong body and their disingenuous statements about puberty-blocking being harmless and reversible, I'm open-mouthed that any organisation could legitimately employ their dubious 'training'.

OP, in your shoes I'd give this one a hard pass. I'd also be telling them exactly why, despite the fact that my employers are up to their nuts in allies and would consider me persona non grata. Really had enough of humouring this shit.

Asking questions is likely to be very stressful for OP and may count against her if her colleagues are as close minded as they appear.

Can you just book annual leave for that day or call in sick? Sounds like the stress is causing you illness so it wouldn't be a lie.

When you are feeling a little calmer, would you feel comfortable emailing HR asking why this training is mandatory and other E&D training is voluntary?

I agree with others who say you didn't post in the wrong section and that there's no need for you to apologise.

You're ok, take some time to collect yourself, this is your first post and you're clearly finding this difficult.

In terms of advice for what to do next, in your shoes I wouldn't attend. You are distressed enough at the prospect of having to endure the session so actually sitting there and listening to the nonsense they are likely to spout, and witness your colleagues (who I'm sure you have respect for) nod along...it's a no from me.

If you feel unable to give an honest reason I would say it's sensitive and you don't want to attend and as it's not compulsory you will not be attending or say you are ill on the day. Some would say the latter is cowardly but being pressed to outwardly state your reason for not going takes a lot of bravery and strength and you have said how tired you are.

I feel for you OP. There may be other times in the future to stand against this but this may not be it. Take care of yourself.

As for having real life people to talk to, please consider joining a ReSisters group. Having real life support makes such a difference.

You will find supportive voices in Feminism Chat and Feminism: Sex and Gender - as a PP says the split of the boards is very recent and you appear to have been caught in the crossfire! Not your fault.