Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Commemorating the spacious Nest of Vipers

34 replies

Forgotthebins · 23/06/2021 08:10

As MN FWR goes on the next phase of its journey, I wanted to commemorate some of the many issues that the Board has made me think about, and wondered what lists other women had?

  1. The horror of the "rough sex defence" for murdering women.
  2. The failure of the Holbeck "managed zone", I really hope lessons are learnt.
  3. #Letclothesbeclothes
  4. The 8 rules of misogyny - so helpful for spotting it in daily life!
  5. A great thread about climate and feminism, and how we need to not let the heavy lifting of being greener become just "women's work".
  6. A great thread about what white feminism means which I wish I had had the ability to contribute to but really found thought provoking.
  7. The decriminalisation of rape
  8. Seeing how women who voted Brexit feel demeaned by Remainers (I wish they could see how demeaned I feel for my poor EU mum by Brexit but hey, maybe another time).
  9. A different point of view on surrogacy, which I now find the most challenging topic on the board.

I landed here for the first time since my children were babies because of someone on Twitter linking a thread. I was firmly TWAW and #BeKind but had been irritated by Munroe Bergdorf saying women shouldn't talk about reproductive systems as it was exclusionary (at a Women's March...) and bothered that my friend who kept posting about trans kids always linked to something based on a child fulfilling very limited gender stereotypes. I have gone back and forth and slowly developed my own position on the conflict of rights, and how to best support kids who are distressed by gender expectations. But I have got the benefit of exposure through the MN FWR board to these other issues too.

As others have said on other threads, I work in an environment where most people call themselves "intersectional feminists" so I get good exposure to their views, I am expected to implement their views in fact. This was the one place where I could go to get a different view. I feel very sad that MN seems to consider GC views just about worthy of respect, but not worthy enough to be in the same space as other people. I guess we have to make the best of this space but I hope people here continue to post on a range of topics and that their posts are allowed to stay here so that I can continue to have my thoughts challenged and broadened.

OP posts:
Waitwhat23 · 23/06/2021 11:28

I came here from a firm ally position. Many years ago I was working in a public building and the issue of transwomen using the ladies toilets came up and I was firmly of the 'they only want to pee' thought process. I remember the eye rolling from the older ladies who worked there but I was very much 'no, I'm right, they are wrong'.

Then when I was breastfeeding in the wee hours, Googling questions about room temperatures, mastitis etc, I came across the FWR board and had all my preconceptions turned on their head. @DickKerrLadies great point about leaning more from the disagreements.

In addition to informing myself about women's rights issues, I have also learned about -
The normalisation of extreme porn, the Make Space for Girls project, the Let Toys be Toys project, the Counting Women project, how to contact my MP/MSP, poetry for and by women, important feminists in history among loads of other smaller things.

All this despite it being a 'one issue' board.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 23/06/2021 11:26

As a long-time feminist, I have long been aware of the kinds of issues mentioned above.

The threads that piqued my interest of late have been the ones about physical and environmental space for girls and women. I knew this was an issue - but the clear and detailed way in which the OPs outlined the issue and their focused campaign to address it really caught my interest. This is actually a big issue but not one that is terribly 'front-and-centre'. It was inspiring to see a poster pick up on it and run with it. (Sorry I can't remember who it was and have no time to search).

FannyCann · 23/06/2021 11:13

Great post OP and all the others. Just placemarking because I'm at work and having a quick sneaky look at my phone. Wink

OhHolyJesus · 23/06/2021 10:47

A brilliant thread and reason to celebrate what this board does. My thinking has also be challenged, I never gave much thought for surrogacy and now I'm very interested in this as well as self ID, education in schools and universities and also free speech in a general sense.

I suppose it's all the thing you thought you could rely on, that the law would protect the vulnerable and underpin a moral compass you believed to be strong in society and that free speech was something we all had and could enjoy. I also though emergency services like the NHS and Police would be based on facts and evidence and truth. It's been useful to have a space to find others who are shocked and scared by this revelation, to find comfort in our joint fear.

I'm another one, like Veeta who came to this board around 5 years ago. What a rollercoaster is has been! My ability to debate has been honed here and I consider myself open minded before joining MN but more so now since you can find someone you disagree with but who you can 'talk' to and engage with, that activity alone is worthwhile and something we should do more of.

It's a far more superior platform than Twitter!

highame · 23/06/2021 09:36

Transwidows thread really opened my eyes. It was something I had never heard of until MN and now I'm a big supporter of these women. ❤

DickKerrLadies · 23/06/2021 09:34

I've said this before but it seems appropriate to repeat myself here.

I've learnt far more about feminism from the disagreements on here than the agreements. Issues surrounding surrogacy are an excellent example and I remember in particular a poster who no longer posts here who was really instrumental in that. And it wasn't because everyone agreed - far from it! Many times I would sit nodding my head at posts from both 'sides' of a discussion.

Incidentally, that poster always explained her opinion rather than just telling us we were all wrong because reasons. And that's a big factor in why my thinking changed on those issues.

JustcameoutGC · 23/06/2021 09:27

Fab post. Agree with you 100%. I say my feminism IS intersectional, just not with males.

Veeta · 23/06/2021 09:19

Great post. 5 years ago I probably had a much more ‘lib fem’ position if I really thought about it (which I didn’t too deeply I must admit). Just a sort of ‘sexism sucks’ and ‘let people do what makes them happy and support that if it isn’t hurting anyone’ type of approach. This board has been really challenging for me, and I’ve had to interrogate my own position and discover I’d been intellectually lazy about many issues. A lot of the beliefs I had didn’t stand up to logic and reason (and facts) which was unsettling, but so necessary. I’m still figuring out where I stand on issues around prostitution and surrogacy, as others have mentioned. But the difference is I’m now really thinking about it.

FreiasBathtub · 23/06/2021 08:33

This is a great post and I 100% agree. Like you, I am thinking a lot about surrogacy at the moment and not sure where I'm going to land, have found the board a challenging but important counterpoint to my initial instinct of 'where is the harm'?

Would also add that this board has opened my eyes to the pornification of teenage lives and the very real and scary beliefs/behaviours that await both my DD and DS as they become more exposed to this. As a middle aged mum of small kids I don't think I would have known about the big changes since I was a teen, if I wasn't reading these boards.

Swipe left for the next trending thread