Guardian - What Life Lessons can we learn from femininity coaching?

I came on to post about that menopause article. One of the most sexist things I've read in a long time.

The guardian is on a roll

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jun/21/menopause-conversation-people-want-to-capitalize-on-us-ageing-

Medal for anyone who makes it up the end

It's basically I think about how menopause interacts with our inner gender identity

nocoolnamesleft

Yes. There are no words left for a person who tells a potentially abused woman to effectively embrace their abuse, to get better at cleaning the oven and cleaning up their language to better deserve that love from their partner....

What a mess of an article. I don’t really see her point.

Glad you got something from the article...I found it utterly incoherent!

Me too, absolute gobbledygook.

Red rag, meet bull. Bull, this is red rag,

Read even.... not red. although I think I did see red reading this article.

And fine, if one of those ways means a woman thinks she’ll be more loved if she cleans the oven and refrains from swearing, then girl, fucking go for it.

Oh dear.... what have I just red. That whole article was a mess. But this final sentence? Did she actually read it again after she wrote it?

So she is barracking for women who feel they have to do things like cleaning the oven and not swearing to deserve the love of their partner, not to learn to feel worthy of love for themselves, not to get help for their partner to love that woman for themselves and not their usefulness to them... but to just go with it.

Just do the cleaning and refrain from swearing and get that precious reward of love?

And she is telling other women off for not being kind?

Glad you got something from the article...I found it utterly incoherent!

@Nellodee - yes I think that's her point.

As a feminist I'm not going to challenge this because even I can see that if I'm going to include bepenised people in my intersectional feminist goals then that pretty much means I don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to challenging oppressive female gender stereotypes.

That however feminine you make yourself; most males do not want to have sex others males.

Most males will choose having sex with masculine women over other men.

shrug

I was perplexed by this article.

As I understand it her point is that she's a raving feminist and normally she would really challenge such notions of what it means to be a woman. But she won't because what it means to be a woman means including the possibility of being bepenised. And because we have to include the bepenised therefore feminists shouldn't challenge any notion of female gender stereotypes.

In other words - because the definition of being a woman has had to expand so much it includes dick therefore everything has to come it.

At least I think that's her point?

I actually think her underlying point is - please don't attack me trans movement that is being led by violent and scary men because I am being compliant and saying what you want. Which is sad.

The message I got was that oppressive gender ideals are fine if they help make trans women feel better about themselves. Did I get that right?

It's bizarre that someone might think that that the way to attract lasting romantic love (from a man of course) is to clean ovens and not swear. Or similar allegedly "feminine" behaviours.

I mean, of course, if women (or indeed men) want to do those behaviours then great for them. I would point out to them that doing those things in order to attract lasting romantic love is a complete utter waste of their time.

Fuck this shit

What life lessons can we learn from “femininity coaching”, I don’t know, maybe that the concept of women being innately feminine is a load of wank?
Maybe this is me being the hairy-legged feminist that I am but why on earth would anyone want to be coached to make themselves smaller and more demure so they can attract a guy who is attracted to someone they obviously aren’t, because they require coaching in it.

Generally it’s no skin off my nose if someone wants to be more feminine and clean the oven and never swear or any of that bullshit, but I’ll never understand it. I learned very early on that I was “bad at being a girl” so I just decided to do whatever I wanted to do.

As for any trans issues, I really don’t care what individual people decide to do, I just think gender and sex should be legally defined and separate in law to avoid mixups.