How do you cope with the anger when dealing with issues and idiots?

I'm with you, OP. I've been at this for years and still can't talk to idiots without starting to thump the (imaginary) podium and making it obvious that they're idiots. Not the best way to convince anyone .

I hope you find that you're a faster learner than I am .

I am have been asked if I would like to join a local GC group and will do that so that should help.

Wow, I'd love to have one of those locally!

I tend to have these discussions in real life rather than online, but the idiot arguments are the same.

I used to feel so frustrated and ragey about it all (still do) but I found the following helps:

Read loads on these issues (especially from links on here) and solidify your argument. Be open to debate but be sure of your position and why.

Keep calm and ask for evidence from the other person to back up their claims, real evidence not bloody Tiktok.

Don't be rushed into making a point.

I am massively impressed by so many of the posters on here who remain calm and rational in the face of stupidity.

I agree with this from a PP:
I think it can take a while to process and find your own genuine position on any topic that's new and you can be angry and emotional in that process.

Another great thing about joining a GC campaigning group is that you look around at the other intelligent, reasonable people you're involved with and and know for certain that it's not you who's that's crazy/ evil/ unreasonable/ right-wing/ ultra-religious or whatever the current insult is.

I spent years wondering whether I was the unreasonable one and whether I was going mad. Meeting others who felt the same was hugely reassuring.

To clarify: It’s about safe-guarding women not necessarily with respect to transpeople but with respect to a system (self-id) that is easily open to abuse

Many find a stock of stickers and ribbons useful. You can go out for a brisk bit of decorating around town.

I watched an excellent video (recommended here) on the topic which I intend to use in any debates. I will try to summarise:

The crux of the issue is not about denying trans rights or even about challenging the validity of gender-identity.

It’s about how we want to organise society; whether we want to organise society around gender-identity or around biological sex.

Organising it around biological sex recognises the physical differences between men and women which underpin the difficulties that women face.

Organising it around gender-identity raises safeguarding issues which would undermine the progress that women have made in tackling those difficulties. It’s not even about trans but about safe-guarding women.

My best mate at work lets me rant to him and I find it useful to have an ally. He's a covert ally as he thinks a moderate position is more productive in the longer term, whereas I get trembly, shouty and therefore put in a category that I don't want to be in
I donate, I sign petitions and I channel the rage where I can

I support people whose views I agree with.

When I first became aware of this issue, like others I was incandescent with rage, had sleepless nights and found it very difficult to have “calm discussions” with people. Watching women like Julie Bindel, Joanna Cherry, staying so calm, in the face of attacks, lies, insults and frankly stupid questions, has had a huge influence on me, they are great role models.

I should add there are many, many women who over the past few years have shown grace, patience and intelligence in the public eye. Thank you to them, you are all Sheros.

That helps to alleviate the rage, I find, as a lot of the rage comes from a feeling of impotence, that this is happening TO you and you can't do anything about it.

Yes! It is the feeling of impotence that is the worst.

I also channel the rage for letters, complaints and consultations.

You might find some useful stuff here

Break it down for me? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3145470-Break-it-down-for-me

I've developed a tolerance and found ways to rise above and ignore (or 'grey rock') the nonsense and focus on posters like yourself who are new to this, learning and open minded and the threads that I'm truly interested in.

I think it can take a while to process and find your own genuine position on any topic that's new and you can be angry and emotional in that process. Focus on your own thoughts and ignore the trolls. They are not worth the time.

Yes, join more groups - it helps because there is a wider range of information and opinion, and also you find out more about the people who are trying to uphold women's rights, and what they're doing, which can allow you to maybe get more personally involved if you want to.
That helps to alleviate the rage, I find, as a lot of the rage comes from a feeling of impotence, that this is happening TO you and you can't do anything about it.

Failing that - walk away from the social media for a bit, because everyone needs time away to recharge and re-set, so that you can go back calmer.

I was a complete vortex of rage, sadness and despair when I first started learning about all this stuff a few years ago. I'd burst into tears because I was so angry and upset that I couldn't actually verbalise it all and it would tumble out as an emotional response.

I still hold on to that anger. But it is more deep and ice cold now. And I get involved in various projects. Channel the rage to actions - it's really useful.