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Original poster

I think school may be ignoring my emails re: gender identity

59 replies

Changeychangeychange · 15/06/2021 15:10

After much deliberating I bit the bullet and emailed my child's school about 3 weeks ago now, on 24th May. No response. Half term came and went so on 7th June I followed up with a polite email checking it had been received. Got a reply from the secretary assuring me she would ensure the head would see my original email. Reattached PDFs from safe schools alliance etc. Another week has gone by, no response.

What should I do from here? Chase again? I don't want to make a complaint but I do want them to answer my questions this side of the summer holidays! My email was polite and asking for information about the planned teaching relating to gender ideology in the school. Also asking for information about the promotion of keeping secrets within the jigsaw PSHE programme. It very firmly flags me up as gender critical, which worries me in a LA maintained school in a stonewall champion city council.

The silence from the school is worrying me more than anything, surely the should want to talk to parents about PSHE concerns? I'm not used to dealing with schools as my child is in yrR, so I have no idea what to expect or what a normal timeframe for a response would be.

OP posts:
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Leafstamp · 22/06/2021 18:27

I’m the same Changey - would rather have the time to consider that corresponding by email gives.

It’s also a good idea to have a paper trail sometimes.

Not that you or anyone are necessarily in this territory (yet), but there is good advice here, should you need it, sorry if already posted:

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/2021/04/16/how-to-complain-to-your-childs-school/

Original poster
Changeychangeychange · 20/06/2021 17:56

Thankyou. I suppose I thought an email would give them time to respond. Rather than putting them on the spot. I know professionally myself I can give fuller answers to complex issues if I've had a little time to consider them. Perhaps that's not the case for everyone.

OP posts:
newnortherner111 · 20/06/2021 17:50

Whilst it is unacceptable not to reply to a reasonable email in a reasonable timeframe, where I have experienced it a phone call or talking face to face is usually effective. So talking to the class teacher seems reasonable, or even phoning the head.

reallyisthisallthereis · 20/06/2021 14:48

Another teacher here and I am annoyed on your behalf that they haven't replied to you. It's not acceptable.
I keep an eye on my own school and my kid's school but so far all the info I've seen mentioned is fine. None of them are stonewall champions thankfully.

It is a serious matter and should be taken seriously and saying school are busy is not an excuse. You have given sufficient time for them to reply.

Leafstamp · 20/06/2021 14:19

teachers should never be too busy to address safeguarding

This sums it up.

However, as I’ve had pointed out to me, children and women deserve more than just safety. They deserve privacy and dignity. We should remember and tell others that.

Original poster
Changeychangeychange · 20/06/2021 14:06

That was to Leafstamp and the SSA document Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Changeychangeychange · 20/06/2021 14:06

Thank you, you beat me to it

OP posts:
MouseyTheVampireSlayer · 20/06/2021 12:23

Op I'm a teacher. Any teacher knows that scheduling a meeting for this is not the most trivial meeting the teachers will have to deal with, not by a long chalk.
I've had parental meetings demanding why I don't teach 7 year olds long division (this was a reoccurring theme despite it not being on the curriculum at that stage) I've had meetings about historical bullying (where the children get along wonderfully but the parents like to dredge it up) I've had meetings about children's names (I know his friends call him Jake but I don't like it so could you talk to the class it's Jacobian) meetings about why my five year old doesn't write joined up, meetings about sticker charts.

This really pales in comparison and as a teacher I would say you absolutely are entitled to polite enquiry. Also it's the law with rse.

And yes, we're busy, buy teachers should never be too busy to address safeguarding.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 20/06/2021 12:21

Please don't be put off OP. Schools have done no critical thinking about this, hence the repeated revelations of so much awful material being offered to schools. We know that advocates of this are insistent on #nodebate - and that includes expecting parents to shut up about what's happening.
Tbh, we have abandoned children to the mercies of an adult ideology that is currently successfully persuading them that there may be something wrong with their bodies and they need changing, aided and abetted by the captured education establishment. The more parents that challenge schools and demand to see that PSHE / RSE materials are free from this ideological capture, the better.

Leafstamp · 20/06/2021 12:16

[quote Nix32]@Changeychangeychange

Can you explain the keeping secrets reference in Jigsaw please? I'm a YR teacher and there's no way we would encourage children to keep secrets, although we might talk about keeping some things as a surprise - birthday presents for example.[/quote]
See the section on Jigsaw here:

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Parents-Guide-to-external-PSHE-RSE-providers.pdf

Leafstamp · 20/06/2021 12:14

See Jiggingthesaw’s post on page 3 here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4036363-Does-anyone-have-access-to-Jigsaw-PSHE-lesson-plans?pg=3

Original poster
Changeychangeychange · 20/06/2021 12:13

@Akela64

MrMucker seem very concerned that parents shut up and stay out of the way.

A common refrain from people who see safe guarding as a hindrance.

No parent can delegate safe guarding. It's your primary function.

If parents have concerns, express them.

If anyone tells you to shut up, ask why.

Thank you for this, I appreciate it.
OP posts:
Leafstamp · 20/06/2021 12:09

@Quisto

Isn't it known " anecdotally" ( on a previous MN thread ) that Jigsaw have told schools to ignore requests for clarification from concerned parents?
I’d forgotten about this, but now you say it, yes I think I did read that.
Akela64 · 20/06/2021 11:49

MrMucker seem very concerned that parents shut up and stay out of the way.

A common refrain from people who see safe guarding as a hindrance.

No parent can delegate safe guarding. It's your primary function.

If parents have concerns, express them.

If anyone tells you to shut up, ask why.

Original poster
Changeychangeychange · 20/06/2021 10:03

Obviously what I've written here is not exactly the same as my communications to school. I'm not going to reply in detail to each reply above suffice to say I feel quite upset at pp's angry response to me.

My communication has been polite, and I have asked very specific questions which should not be difficult to answer. All I have asked for is information and clarity about what is being taught in this topic

The issue of going to senior leadership is interesting- within this thread I've had various advice, speak directly to class teacher, go straight to head/leadership team, contact the governors, even Ofsted! (I have no intention of doing the last 2 unless absolutely necessary, of course I want to have a good relationship with school). As I wrote above I have asked for a meeting with the class teacher so will see how that goes.

In reply to the suggestion above that I haven't related my posts to my child - I wasn't aware I needed to tell a bunch of strangers personal details about my child's education, development or schooling. This is a school wide issue and my concerns are for ALL children exposed to gender ideology taught as fact, not just mine. There are some specific reasons why I'm concerned for my child which I'm not going to get into here - my post is about how best to engage with the school. I am of course aware of the impacts of covid on schooling, but it is ridiculous to suggest the school shouldn't need to respond to parental concerns about other issues because of covid.

OP posts:
TheGlassBlowersDaughter · 20/06/2021 09:51

Schools do expect questions about curriculum. MrMucker's is oddly naive and reductive.
Tbh I would probably have started by asking for a meeting. The class teacher isn't responsible for school policy so I'd have found out which teacher was responsible for this part of the curriculum and asked for a meeting with them.
This is a busy time of year - and it's not true to say all times of year are busy. Teachers are always snowed under at the start and end of a term. Another option would be to contact whichever parent/teacher group is in place. But if you don't want any other parents to know your views, then I would wait until a few weeks into the new term (after summer) and ask for a meeting with the HT.

WiltingAtTreadmills · 20/06/2021 09:50

Everything else aside I think it's perfectly reasonable to have an idea of what schools are teaching about body parts, being private, etc, so you can make sure you are giving the same messages and not inadvertently saying anything confusing (using certain terms instead of others, etc) particularly if this is your first child gong through school.

WiltingAtTreadmills · 20/06/2021 09:46

I've seen the Jigsaw resources our school is using for yr1 and it seems absolutely fine (although it is just one or two of the modules, not all). Sensible stuff about how boys' and girls' bodies are different.

tiredanddangerous · 20/06/2021 09:41

Please don't pester the class teacher about it, it's nothing to do with them.

I would phone the office and ask for an appointment to speak with the head in the first instance.

WarriorN · 20/06/2021 09:40

Mr Mucker:

I'm aware its the last few weeks of term. However I got in contact LAST TERM. Just before half term they contacted all parents, actually inviting us to get in touch about the sex ed part of the curriculum with any questions. I replied to that specific email, reiterating my concerns - still no response.

This is unacceptable, they asked for queries!

WarriorN · 20/06/2021 09:38

And in PSHE teacher facebook groups, most still recommend Stonewall and only ever use the term, ‘gender’.

Honestly, the fb groups are a big issue.

Most are run by people who have books, training and resources to flog. And agendas.

Im in one for another subject. Various independent trainers with their own businesses advertise their services and give advice.

Online training is also advertised; made more accessible to all via the pandemic and zoom.

I also saw a senior leader suggesting to another senior leader that an issue a parent had raised around diversity "just be ignored" in a group for SLT. Luckily others challenged this and pointed out how silly it was, but clearly this is an attitude some take.

OP I'd contact the head again and mention you've asked several times and 'perhaps the governors are better suited to answering your question?'

Tbh a call to ofsted would mean a grilling over your concerns and also lack of reply.

Nix32 · 20/06/2021 09:36

@Changeychangeychange

Can you explain the keeping secrets reference in Jigsaw please? I'm a YR teacher and there's no way we would encourage children to keep secrets, although we might talk about keeping some things as a surprise - birthday presents for example.

Halfling · 20/06/2021 09:32

This is an over the top reaction MrMucker IMO. Two emails spread across two terms do not constitute harassment. It is perfectly okay for OP to question the school's approach without making it all about her child.

MrMucker · 20/06/2021 09:27

like not lie
Obvs!

MrMucker · 20/06/2021 09:26

@Changeychangeychange

I'm aware its the last few weeks of term. However I got in contact LAST TERM. Just before half term they contacted all parents, actually inviting us to get in touch about the sex ed part of the curriculum with any questions. I replied to that specific email, reiterating my concerns - still no response. I really don't think I need to feel guilty about contacting the school to find out what they may or may not be teaching my own child. I'm not harassing them!

In response to the pp stating individual teachers have no influence - this is why I contacted the head first. It's only because I've had no reply that I'm contacting the class teacher.

I know it's a busy time of year, but when isn't it? If I was writing this in December posters would be telling me to wait till after xmas. Meanwhile parents have no idea what (or if) or when their children are being taught about gender ideology. In addition they're using a PSHE programme that encourages 5 year olds to keep secrets from their parents and the school aren't answering my very real concerns about this. This is a huge safeguarding issue. I'm not happy to just leave it till the next academic year when we aren't being told what or when these topics might be introduced.

Well again, this post reads as if your kid doesn't even exist. No mention of them. No specific query for anyone to address, the people who workvery closely with your kid. Just shouting about a policy, planned curricular content. As if what you teach them at home has no impact. Stop already. What you are teaching your kid yourself is that it's ok to bang on and on about theoreticals and simultaneously ignore realities.

Speak to the class teacher. Face to face, lie an actual person.

Abrupt, yeah, I know. Because I'm annoyed on behalf of whoever is receivng this stuff from you in the school.

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