Why are schools getting the blame for boys harassing girls?

Are the school aware of this? Have any parents told them? Again it's a safeguarding issue.

If its true that porn sites have mined children's data to target them, thats one of the most corrupt and cynical uses of data I can think of.

The porn industry has demonstrated over and over again that it cannot regulate itself and so cant be surprised at any consequenses.

What do people think of the CEASE campaign to restrict children's access to porn?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4267993-Protecting-kids-from-porn-new-legal-action

If kids want to access stuff online - they will. They are way more savvy than parents and can generally bypass many controls.

When you watch your 13 yr old reconfigure your router so it doesn’t keep losing TV connection!

School Wi-fi is not "bullet proof". My kids and others at their school use a VPN to access social media via the school Wi-fi.

Of course schools aren't the only problem, but they have a huge part to play in solving the issue. Not least that for most parents, we don't see boys in groups and the way they act. I see it with DS - him alone or him and a friend leads to different behaviour to him and a group of boys. But i don't invite groups over so when I'm interacting with him or his friends, it's in a smaller, less peer-pressure driven environment.

Also, parents don't take stuff seriously enough. DD is 6. She is always complaining about children touching her hair, touching her face where she has a mole, touching her clothes.... except it's not "children". It's the boys. How or why the boys see to think this is okay, I don't know. But I deeply suspect that if I mentioned it to their mothers there's a pretty good chance I'd get some version of, "Oh, he doesn't now any better" or "Ooh, I think he likes her" or whatever. Thank goodness, the school isn't okay with this and do have conversations with the boys. But I have to wonder how far that will go.

DD also told me that she wants to wear skirts because all the girls wear skirts. But she also wants to wear shorts under because the girls get laughed at when their knickers show. Again - I have never seen this behaviour because I'm not surrounded by bunches of children playing. The school needs to help to manage this and nip it in the bud right now.

Betty, War is right, you absolutely need to raise this as a safe-guarding issue. School Wi-Fi is managed by either LA or academy trust IT in compliance with stringent policy on online safety, and is quite bullet-proof. Seems bizarre that your DC's school is so flagrantly flouting this very basic measure.

WTF? That is wrong on all levels. Primarily on a safeguarding level. School WiFi has filters built into it and less likely to accidentally or deliberately to access iffy websites. You and the other parents could and should club together and let the school know that it's unacceptable. This is a school not taking safeguarding seriously.

My DCs school take their phones in form time and give them back at the end of the day. That is a much more sensible idea. Many schools do this.

Many parents seem to think its ok to give their children smart phones and internet access.

Hold up! We gave DS1 a mobile when he started high school as a safety measure. We were both working full-time and wanted him to be able to reach us in an emergency. DH disabled the browser but had to reinstall it within the first month of year 7 because the teachers were asking the kids to use their mobiles for research in class. DS2 grumbles that he burns through almost all of his monthly data allowance using it in class, as the school does not let the kids use the school’s wifi. Even if parents want to limit access, they may find their hand is forced.

@Librariesmakeshhhhappen I'm so sorry for your son. That is awful and so wrong.

But stupid stupid parents are handing out smartphones at younger and younger ages

Lots of parents under the mistaken notion that their children can't view porn on their phones but getting around filters is not very difficult especially once they discover tricks like VPNs.

I would like to see a similar law to France where smartphone use is banned for under 15s while on school grounds. Too many secondaries are relying on kids bringing in smartphones for research /photographing the board to save photocopying etc to save money on tech.

I suspect that a lot of these boys see how their mums and dads behave. You only have to read the relationship forum to see that women expect men to watch porn and too many men have no qualms voicing misogynistic comments about their wives looks etc while big contributing to the boring bits of family life like cleaning. That kind of man is probably a sex pest who is groping and humiliating their wife and the kids are hearing and seeing all this. If you have married parents and your dad is on WhatsApp group exchanging porn pics then you are going to start thinking that this is okay.

There's a militant minority who think that sex education in year 5 is too soon and that their children will be scared and scarred by their info. Learning about it in year 7 when most kids have a smartphone and social media is way too late yet they really think that their children shouldn't even know what a period is. The reality is that kids in year 6/7 are exposed to far more explicit content about life and some parents need a reality check and take the lead in discussing things. Even if their children manage to dodge things in y6, things are much more "advanced" in y7.

Well there are these smart watches that do as pp suggested

But stupid stupid parents are handing out smartphones at younger and younger ages

It is so obvious that children and teenagers should not have mobile phones/lengthy internet access.

Why can't they all just have simple phones with a map function and a function to call home. Please can someone invent this.

Most adults, myself included, struggle to regulate their phone use so of course kids can't do it.

I so agree with this. Expressed brilliantly.

Most of that "research" is rubbish and doesn't stand up to scrutiny. It was based on asking boys what they prefer and didn't look at the impact on actual learning/retention of knowledge. This is now massively off topic but letting boys stand up for lessons isn't going to solve the problem!

Buy your 11 year old daughter a smartphone, accept she’s going to receive unsolicited dick pics and god knows what’s else. That’s the reality and the price to pay for ‘not letting her be the odd one out among her group of friends’.

You only need to spend 5 minutes on mn to understand that this is true. They don't expect to be needed, or to take on the care role, or sacrifice their career this is not their fault but societies. Blaming children will not solve this.

I'm not blaming children. I'm also blaming society.

But boys do NOT learn differently to girls. The physical process of learning, retention, cognition is the same in boys as it is in girls.

Waaaahhhh, how can parents stop their kids sexting etc when they aren't at home? Poor parents, they have no control... victims of circumstance are they?

STOP BUYING THE KIDS SMARTPHONES WITH DATA

@bytheby yes! I wasted hours on snake but I don't think having a phone really had much of an impact on my life, either positive or negative tbh. I was barely on it- not compared to now! Bloody Mumsnet

I used to spend ages talking to strangers in chat rooms too- the good thing was my mum always knew about it because I told her! I would never have met anyone from it. But yes could have been very dodgy. It was mostly a laugh- me and my mates would find it hilarious to go in and start trolling the group chat until we got kicked out.

Agree about the constant access- this is the difference.

accept that they learn differently

There is no evidence boys learn differently to girls at all. This is total BS.

I don't think I have just blamed teenage boys. I blame the society they grow up in. I blame the parenting they get. I blame the lack of education they receive.

The solution is money. Fund education, fund the police to deal with the harassment, fund public campaigns around social media use, consent and attitudes towards women