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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Do you walk alone?

86 replies

Cwenthryth · 09/06/2021 15:13

Not necessarily strictly a feminist discussion I guess more a personal one, but your brains are the ones I’d like to talk about this with Smile

I was walking my dogs this morning very early, before 6am, in the forest - it was beautiful, felt like had the world to ourselves, with just a few bunnies and cows to share the glorious sun burning off the morning dew. Didn’t meet another soul the whole time and my car was the only car in the car park when I arrived, there was one other when I left.

I was thinking however as I was walking that perhaps I am quite vulnerable doing this, although I don’t feel any fear - when younger I backpacked around the world solo etc, it’s just never occurred to me to worry. But this is what happened to Julia James isn’t it. Just walking her dog.

Do you walk alone? Do you take any emergency supplies with you like rape alarms etc?

OP posts:
Bananaman123 · 09/06/2021 16:03

I watch too many serial killer and true crime documentaries to go in my woods at night alone. I am someone who always feels vulnerable in the country on my own unfortunately but it doesn't stop me walking the dog during the day in the woods. I don't mind the farm road night or day as normally decent amount of cars going by

Merchymor · 09/06/2021 16:02

@name8793

During the day yes, I wouldn't early morning or evening/night. Even in the day I can feel uncomfortable if it's quiet and a man is behind me. I will be teaching my sons to be concious of how some women feel walking on their own and actions they can take to make them more comfortable (not walking too close behind that kind of thing) maybe that's OTT but I just don't think many men are aware of how some women feel on their own.
Not OTT at all. For me personally if I'm walking alone at night I prefer a man to be in front of me where I can see him.

I do walk on my own at all hours but that doesn't mean that I don't sometimes feel antsy if there's someone behind me.

OrangeSharked · 09/06/2021 15:59

Yes I do. I'm not going to let men intimidate me and kerb my freedoms. The current culture of women are weak and must be protected at night actually makes me a bit uncomfortable, once again it puts women on the back foot and enables men to gain further power over us. I am aware there is a risk there, although its small. But its a risk I'm prepared to take.

name8793 · 09/06/2021 15:58

During the day yes, I wouldn't early morning or evening/night. Even in the day I can feel uncomfortable if it's quiet and a man is behind me. I will be teaching my sons to be concious of how some women feel walking on their own and actions they can take to make them more comfortable (not walking too close behind that kind of thing) maybe that's OTT but I just don't think many men are aware of how some women feel on their own.

LawrenceChaney22 · 09/06/2021 15:57

Yep, in the dark with headphones in, not for long distances and I will continue to do so. Not saying I would go for a stroll through a dark wooded area though.

theleafandnotthetree · 09/06/2021 15:55

Absolutely and I could never imagine not doing so, those are some of the best times in my life. I take the view that even if the worst were to happen - a vanishingly small risk - I would still have had years and years of happiness and peace doing what I love. I much prefer to live fully and openly and let the chips fall as they may. I am generally very comfortable with risk though, I'm not sure if that's just how some of us are born/made. My mother and sister are exactly the same

Dobbyafreeelf · 09/06/2021 15:54

I walk alone with my dogs every day. I refuse to be frightened into doing anything else. I don't walk with them after dark unless I absolutely have to, but that's as much to do with the fact they are black dogs as anything!
The thing with the Julia James case though is I don't think we know for sure whether the person who killed her knew her? Was it truly a random attack or someone with a grudge either directly towards her personally or towards her as a member of the police force?

Mumoblue · 09/06/2021 15:53

Not really. I walk with my son, but not generally on my own.

I’m very aware of my own vulnerability, not just as a woman but also as a hard of hearing person. I also have anxiety, which doesn’t help.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 09/06/2021 15:52

Yes I walk alone at all hours of the day and night. Statistically harm is unlikely.

Also rape alarms will not summon help. But they will help if you set them off and hold them to your assailants ears.

MadMadMadamMim · 09/06/2021 15:52

Yes, in a very rural area. I don't feel vulnerable.

I'd feel anxious walking through a city on my own.

I suspect it's what you are used to and feel comfortable with.

Merchymor · 09/06/2021 15:51

We had a discussion about this in one of my feminism seminars at uni. The Prof taking the seminar said she wore a mask out at night sometimes. She figured seeing a mask looming at you out of the dark, coupled with her large frame, would put most people off. I thought it was a bit peculiar to be honest.

duckme · 09/06/2021 15:51

I walk my dog at 5am every morning. Only round the housing estate. I only wear my earphones during the summer months when the mornings are light. I constantly feel uneasy during the winter months (doesn't help that my dog is a wuss). I usually keep my key between my fingers in my pocket.

Quaggars · 09/06/2021 15:50

@idontlikealdi

Yes, I do, and I won't be scared into not doing so.
Same.
megletthesecond · 09/06/2021 15:50

Not in isolated areas.
I live in a town centre so I'll happily walk home from town in the dark as there's always people around and I walk past houses. But I wouldn't run through a quiet wood in the daytime.

FOJN · 09/06/2021 15:48

I do in fields and coastal areas where I can see anyone approaching. I have done woodland walks on my own but I feel more vulnerable and end up not enjoying it so it's rare. I always have my phone with me when I walk.

lazylinguist · 09/06/2021 15:48

Yes. About 10 times a week. I have never once felt vulnerable. That's not in any way a criticism of women who do feel vulnerable of course. I am lucky to live in a very safe kind of area. Yes of course a random assailant could crop up anywhere, however safe the area appears, but the probability is so tiny that I don't give it a thought tbh. I'm more concerned about spraining my ankle or something. I have a large dog which might put off a potential attacker, but he (the dog) would probably be terrified. I'm far more likely to come to harm in a car accident, and we all seem to get in cars without much fear.

AssassinatedBeauty · 09/06/2021 15:48

Yes, I walk in the local woods alone, but I wouldn't go at night. Mainly because I'm a scaredy cat and don't like the dark. I would walk into and back from the centre of my v "nice" town, probably at any time of day and night as there is street lighting along the route.

I feel more uncomfortable alone on late night public transport, or in larger cities that I don't know well.

Tealightsandd · 09/06/2021 15:47

Two women a week are killed by a partner or ex partner. I think that's gone up to three a week.

Women are much more at risk at home than walking outside.

And, despite all the publicity about keeping women safe, there's a significant funding shortfall for services to help the most at risk women.

Shmithecat2 · 09/06/2021 15:47

Yes, I do. However I'm 6'3, and not exactly slightly built, which rightly or not feels like it gives me a bit of security. I do also live in a very rural, quiet area where not much goes on.

EBearhug · 09/06/2021 15:46

Yes. Including walking back from town alone at night (back when we used to go out in town.) And in the countryside. Also overseas.

If I wasn't going to walk anywhere on my own, I would rarely get to do anything at all, and it's been that way since I was late teens - am now late 40s.

I don't carry a rape alarm or anything. I do think about where I'm going, but that's more to do with leaving enough time to arrange time, and because I don't want to retrace my steps for 2 miles because I went in the wrong direction.

Lavender201 · 09/06/2021 15:44

No, I don’t walk/jog alone early morning or late at night, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable walking alone in our local woods either.

I find it quite restrictive for exercising in winter, but I wouldn’t feel safe (live in a city).

BrownTableMat · 09/06/2021 15:43

Yes, always. I’m single and live alone so the poor dog would never get walked if I didn’t. Plus I love walking alone and do so everywhere from town parks to isolated forests where I literally didn’t see anyone else all day. I take the gamble that such attacks are rare and vanishingly so in the countryside and I’m willing to take the risk. I don’t do it at night though: I stick to well lit streets, though I don’t avoid whole areas for being ‘rough’. Lived in a supposedly ‘rough’ bit of london for years and actually felt very safe walking there after dark as there were always so many people around, lots of 24-hour open businesses like corner shops, petrol stations and minicabs to go for help if needed (it never was). I’ve actually felt more scared in a nice rural town, when I really was followed once after dark and there was nobody’s round to help and nowhere to go, though I got to where I was staying fine.

actiongirl1978 · 09/06/2021 15:42

@Mintjulia I run and walk alone in rural Hampshire too.

Bloody lovely at this time of year. Me and the dogs at 5am with the cuckoos and chalk stream river.

I always walk alone and run in the dark too with a head torch, though oddly only in the morning, I am convinced rapists only get their kicks after 6pm Grin

Shedbuilder · 09/06/2021 15:40

What happened to Julia James was terrible. Now think of all the women who walk their dogs every day of the year, sometimes twice a day, here in the UK. A statistician will be along shortly to correct me, I'm sure, but your chances of being attacked by a stranger while walking in the countryside are extremely low.

We are statistically far more likely to be badly injured or die in a car crash, yet we get into the car every day without a second thought.

If I go walking in an area that I know is quite deserted I take a fully charged mobile phone. Not because I'm scared of being attacked by a stranger, but in case I sprain an ankle or get lost or if the dog gets into trouble. He's too big for me to carry home if he hurts himself.

Mintjulia · 09/06/2021 15:35

Yes. I walk and run alone in rural Hampshire.

I work on the basis that most rapists hang around bars and nightclubs. And as I'm single I'm at little risk of DV.

If I'm in a city (not very often) I always get a cab after dark.