Gender on School Form

Secondary school had gender - male, female, non binary in their registration form, I was that parent. I emailed them, they checked with the trust and have changed it to male, female and a blank fill your own option in. Said they wanted to be inclusive.

I have emailed the Trust the sex matters template letter as their equality policy says gender.

Be that parent. You won't be the only one.

I'm that parent too
Nursery asked me to complete a form for an nhs referral and I changed it on there and it went back via nursery.
I also challenged my LEA on the use of gender on primary application forms and then when I said about it on a local radfem fb group, the administrator who had dealt with my query was also on the group and we had a virtual chuckle and high five.

I am quite often that parent, but I just own it. I’m not sure the school staff are my biggest fans, and nursery certainly won’t, but this issue is endemic and if we say nothing then it’s assumed that it’s all ok.

Well done OP! I’m also ‘that parent’ today, having submitted a similarly amended form for my daughter (accompanied by husbandly eye rolls).

I do it whenever the format allows it. Gender isn’t real so why are they asking it?

@FemaleAndLearning exactly. And you wouldn’t ask what religion someone was on a form, or whether they thought they were gay - because it’’s not the school’s business!

Equalities monitoring is different. But again, who on earth thinks gender is a protected characteristic or even an agreed characteristic, is isn’t! Sex, sexuality are protected characteristics but you’d only be asked as part of an anonymous one off form when joining school.

It’s all frankly bonkers.

What would you do?
Always be "that person". Reality and truth matter.

Is it asking the gender of your emergency contacts? Never had that!

[quote Choclover89]@FemaleAndLearning genuine question and looking to understand - is that not the school trying to be inclusive and to make themselves aware of any children who are potentially/already transitioning? I understand the difference between sex and gender. But don't schools also need to be aware of things their pupils may need extra pastoral support with?[/quote]
I agree and last time I wrote I said there should be two questions. However female and male are not genders. If they had used boy and girl along with non binary or given an other option I would be okay with it as I could have said none.

It is the assumption we all have a gender that bothers me. Gender is based on sexist stereotypes.
We wouldn't assume everyone has a religion. There was a question on religion that was free text and I just wrote none.

So there should be a none option. I'm not being pedantic I just believe the wording needs to be right.
Then those with gender diverse issues will still come under the radar. It suits everyone.

Here is my thread/letter in case anyone wants to crib from it:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4181917-GDPR-right-to-rectification-SEX-not-gender-on-eg-patient-records

Another “that parent” here.

I also made a complaint about them collecting gender (not sex) for the Covid testing.

@Choclover89

I was replying directly to another poster's comment about their secondary school form (I did tag the user's name). I think there are more secondary children making decisions about their gender identity now? Just thought the school were trying to be aware is a good way? I am genuinely interested to learn about these issues and it's disheartening how unpleasant the tone can be in some of your responses

To answer your point about secondary schools, yea schools might want to have support in place for students questioning a gender identity, but other than keeping them safe (which they’re supposed to do for all students anyway) I’m not sure what other pastoral care they need to be offering.

The form is annoying because it uses gender instead of sex. And I had more to say but just realised the time and have done a massive yawn and must get some sleep.

If you’re really interested, there’s a thread called Break It Down For Me (from memory) that’s worth a read about sex and gender and the whole she bang.

@Choclover89 I know to be honest if I hadn’t educated myself about good safeguarding practice in schools and with children, I also would have just thought the same, oh the school are just trying to be inclusive. It’s only when I realised the implications that I got seriously worried.

Some of the well meaning stuff about gender in schools has got seriously out of hand. I could go into it but it’s better if you have a look yourself and see what the worrying issues are.

@Rejoiningperson good point hadn't thought of it like that!

I was replying directly to another poster's comment about their secondary school form (I did tag the user's name). I think there are more secondary children making decisions about their gender identity now? Just thought the school were trying to be aware is a good way?
I am genuinely interested to learn about these issues and it's disheartening how unpleasant the tone can be in some of your responses

[quote Choclover89]@FemaleAndLearning genuine question and looking to understand - is that not the school trying to be inclusive and to make themselves aware of any children who are potentially/already transitioning? I understand the difference between sex and gender. But don't schools also need to be aware of things their pupils may need extra pastoral support with?[/quote]
Would a school ask if a child was gay? No. There’s a reason for that!

Bloody hell be ‘that’ parent, I would.

The one thing I’m very worried about is children and safeguarding. I don’t care what the reason is, religion, sexuality, beliefs, wokeness, snobbery whatever.

No one crosses the children safeguarding line! And asking for gender instead of sex crosses that safeguarding line.

The school absolutely have a duty of care and responsibility to both know, monitor and safeguard the sex of the children in it’s care.

[quote Choclover89]@FemaleAndLearning genuine question and looking to understand - is that not the school trying to be inclusive and to make themselves aware of any children who are potentially/already transitioning? I understand the difference between sex and gender. But don't schools also need to be aware of things their pupils may need extra pastoral support with?[/quote]
In the very remote possibility that a reception child was transitioning I have a feeling that the parents would let the school know directly rather than the school using its spidey senses to decide which of the ticked “gender” boxes was declaring a transitioning child in need and which was accidentally recording the child’s sex.

Choclover89 didn't the OP say it was for reception starting?! Are you seriously suggesting there are transgender 4 year old out there

You did the right thing OP.

I did the same on a form from DCs primary the other day. In red pen

As for being "that parent", what does your DH mean?? That parent that knows the difference between sex and gender? I'm VERY happy to be that parent

DS's school are determined under no circumstances to utter the word sex. They even said no mixed gender rooms on recent school trip. What's wrong with kids of different genders sharing a room, as long as they're the same sex? Isn't it some kind of transphobic to say a trans boy is a risk to girls? Still, if anyone fancies a single room zey just need to declare zemselves unicorngender.

@FemaleAndLearning genuine question and looking to understand - is that not the school trying to be inclusive and to make themselves aware of any children who are potentially/already transitioning? I understand the difference between sex and gender. But don't schools also need to be aware of things their pupils may need extra pastoral support with?