Why are women encouraged to see jealousy?

People often massively underestimate what a threat jealous men are, as it is linked to control.

I do think women should be more aware of what a strong motivating emotion jealousy is, but it isn’t usually women who are excessively jealous.

I think it's to make someone feel better. 'They might be saying nasty things but those things aren't true, they're actually jealous because you're better than them.'

I get a bit confused between jealous and envious, but I think they are both strong motivating factors in most bad behaviour.

Men are far more prone to jealousy than women, but very many people of both sexes are prone to envy.

@AnneLovesGilbert use, this bothers me too! It does nobody any favours. Just as there are some people who struggle with life, there will be others who sail through. I have a lovely friend who I often think about when these threads come up. She’s beautiful, married to a good looking, wealthy man who would do anything for his her. She lives in a gorgeous house with her lovely kids and DH, has amazing holidays and loves her life as a SAHM. Her life isn’t all plain sailing of course - nobody’s is - but her existence is pretty charmed. If I wrote about her on MN, posters would no doubt suggest her husband is a secret gambler/sex addict/whatever and she takes drugs to cope. Why?

Ha, op, I nearly started a thread saying exactly this! It baffles me. Certainly I can see behaviours where jealousy might be a factor but I thought not liking something or having any criticism of something automatically meaning "you're just jealous" was left behind in year 9 of school.

As with anything that seems a disproportionately common reaction on mumsnet (but is usually only a handful of actual posters) , I suspect there's a lot of projection going on.

Not much to add but did want to post to acknowledge I've noticed it too and find it weird!

You’re so right Seafog. When people admit they actually are jealous they’re usually told not to bother as their slim, funny, successful, happily married friend with healthy lovely children is probably an alcoholic with an eating disorder, crippling anxiety and an abusive husband. As if that would be better than someone just being as happy as she seems.

Really weird.

Ah actually, maybe so many people jump to jealousy is that’s how they feel?

To undermine the opposing argument, and to discredit the person advancing it, usually..

In the 1980s, when Clare Short MP started her campaign against page three, the argument most commonly used against her was that she was “jealous”. The Sun called her ‘Crazy Clare’, and said that she was jealous of the page three girls because she was, according to them fat and old.

What other motivation could she possibly have had?

I don't know, but it goes hand in hand with bitterness, as soon as someone mentions that 'x looks happy with this or that' someone comes along and says , ' yes, but it is likely all lies, they are hiding how it really is'.
Someone posts a happy couple picture, Mumsnet replies, they must not really be happy, or they wouldn't let it show, they are just doing it to seem happy or make you jealous.

So weird, and annoying!

I don’t know but it pisses me off as well.