Best responses for being asked for pronouns in person

He says it's just a company culture thing, plus it's a male dominated industry and he doesn't want women to be perceived or treated differently when it's not necessary for anyone to know their sex.

Eg

I agree with the point the first speaker made when they said blah blah.

If you use they them for everyone then that's ok isn't it?

I might start doing that tbh.

Trying to remember them all is not trivial.

The practicalities of it are tricky to say the least.

I really struggle with names and faces let alone anything else.

If you're in a work meet with people you've never met before do you need to look them all up on the intranet first?

Does each meeting need to start with pronouns for anyone new?

If it's people around the world including were this isn't a thing, do you need to explain at the start of a meet or send out an email beforehand explaining?

Genuinely it's going to be tricky in a lot of circs.

I suppose that's why some things have pronoun badges. Which like name badges if you're female means people glancing at your chest all the time to check...! And no putting it somewhere else doesn't work..

I'd be more than happy with they/ them for everyone becoming the norm. Easy and no faffing or remembering.

@LurcherLot why would people be confused what to call her?

We've reached 2021 without being permanently mystified about how to refer to people

I'd love to try 'I don't have any pronouns. Please don't refer to me in any way.'

In my line of work, I might say something like 'well, as an editor, I prefer to use all of them.'

Why not sing all the pronouns, Mr Menno's song covers all bases?

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DXetogrd3n4Y&ved=2ahUKEwjNgsbFy4PxAhVIA2MBHYxnDboQwqsBegQIBxAG&usg=AOvVaw1536P1oLZ3DMldAPqdYhyH" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DXetogrd3n4Y&ved=2ahUKEwjNgsbFy4PxAhVIA2MBHYxnDboQwqsBegQIBxAG&usg=AOvVaw1536P1oLZ3DMldAPqdYhyH

The harm it causes is if you're the one person in the group who does have to specify their pronouns because it really isn't obvious from your physical appearance then it's potentially more embarrassing and awkward for that person, and draws attention to them and might make them feel singled out.

That person may be trans, or they may not be.

Westend if people want to announce it that’s fine. I haven’t had issues with people getting mine wrong so didn’t agree with the ‘thingy’ statement, but moreover I don’t want to announce my pronoun. That should be accepted.

@IntermittentParps

"I think pronouns are wank" That's my favourite.

If you'd rather people call you "um" or "thingy" or "them overthere" then by all means withhold that information. That's what given names are for, no?

Sounds a bit weird doesn't it? Pronouns function so we don't have to keep saying someone's name over and over, multiple times in a sentence. I mean, if you want to talk about people and have them talk about you in a weird, unnatural, stilted way, by all means refuse to confirm that Lucy is fine with being called she, but it's making things awkward for yourself and other people for no real reason, let's be honest.

That sums it up rather well. I don't want to be an ally so I'll opt out, thanks.

I say my name is “Apple Strudel” if asked for a pronoun I just repeat my name is “Apple Strudel”

what harm does it do just to say "my pronouns are she/her
What harm does it do to not say this?

I recently had a similar conversation with a person of my acquaintance. The context was workplaces where people put their pronouns on their email sign-off. He thinks that stating your pronouns if you're someone like me or him (plain old woman and man, she/her and he/him) acknowledges that you are privileged not to have to and shows you're an ally to those who do have to.

Personally I think if you want/need to give pronouns please do; but I don't feel the need to.

As I said in first post I wouldn’t make a big deal, and actually wouldn’t want it to become a point of interest, but yes I’ll opt out as unobtrusively as I can.

Although ‘surprise me’ made me laugh, and would do in a meeting, I wouldn’t have the gumption to say it.

"I think pronouns are wank"
That's my favourite.

If you'd rather people call you "um" or "thingy" or "them overthere" then by all means withhold that information. That's what given names are for, no?

Yes, Marsha, I've had people get my pronouns wrong, I have a physically androgynous appearance coupled with a gender non-conforming presentation. Just because it's never happened to you, doesn't mean it's never happened.

As I've stated clearly several times now I don't think anyone should have to announce their pronouns if they don't want to. But I also don't think it's half the big deal some of you are making out to either just say "I'd rather not" or to just bloomin' well say them, since I'm willing to bet most of you actually would be a bit put out if someone got them persistently wrong. What's the worst that could happen, someone in a different situation to you actually might feel a bit more comfortable in the group? Oh no the horror.

In the words of Roy Walker, say what you see!

Although that could potentially backfire! 😂

what harm does it do just to say "my pronouns are she/her

What harm does it do to not say this?

Does anyone watch the kominsky method on Netflix? Fun episode ( and somewhat surprising )with Morgan Freeman playing a gender fluid character and doing a scene with all the pronouns. Wish I had a clip but couldn't find one.

"Pronouns? Bloody hell I'll have enough trouble trying to remember people's names! I'm pretty sure its obvious that I'm female..."

Out-woke them. "You know asking for pronouns is against the Yogyakarta Principles, right?"

Again, it's really no different to being told someone's name, and the same social nicities apply if you get it wrong or forget. Remembering the names of 20 people as you go round a circle is hard too, but weirdly no one suggests we shouldn't ever introduce ourselves as a result - because we recognise why it matters and know what to do if we get it wrong or can't remember.

Luckily I’ve never had anyone get it wrong, it’s pretty obvious, so I don’t need to announce my pronoun. No ‘thingy’ here, what about you, did you get this?

It doesn’t mean others have to do the same. If they wish to announce for whatever reason go for it.