Best responses for being asked for pronouns in person

I only answer to "your highness".

Female ones

Or no thanks

I’m yet to experience this

Me: Hi, I'm dudsville.

Course leader: and your pronouns?

Me: I just came here today to learn x and don't wish things to get more personal than that.

So basically I'm saying I'm here to focus on the task, not on me in a more personal way, including my politics.

My pronouns are...irrelevant.

"Me, me, me"

Or "Emphasising that I'm female hasn't really worked well for me given all the sexism in the workplace"

I'd be itching to say She/Ra

But probably not the best idea

"I don't care what pronouns you use, but my adjectives are 'mighty' and 'glorious'. Please use them or you'll trigger me".

I have never misgendered anyone in my life, including trans people

The whole point is that you wouldn't know if you'd misgendered anyone unless you had specifically asked what their gender is first. Gender is an invisible feeling. That's the whole problem with it and why it shouldn't override sex in specific situations!

I’ve only been asked this once and I answered “What an odd question. Is it a game - can you explain it?” The facilitator was a bit put out, giggled, talked about inclusion and feeling comfortable. The next person said “I think we’re all feeling uncomfortable now. I don’t understand it either” and just said their name and company and job and no one else after that mentioned pronouns.

I noticed she dropped the she/her from her LinkedIn profile after that. I think it’s the unthinking adoption of this that has to be challenged.

It’s become more widespread so feigned ignorance might not work now.

Saying she/her is too easy and lets the asker off the hook. Be a pain in the arse like they’re being. Tell them you’re a post-gender individualist and pronouns are counter to your individuality so you don’t use them, you insist they use your full name at all times.

And can we please put an end to the fallacy that third person pronouns are only used when the person isn't present? There are lots of instances where they are used when you're present, especially in group situations.

Agreed. It's a tiresome argument and not the reason I don't want to state pronouns.

I've always managed to just get through these ghastly things by omitting the "and my pronouns are..." bit and getting on to the other bit of whatever the introduction ice breaker horror is. No one has ever dared press me and then people have generally followed suit and ignored the pronoun stuff.

EMAIL
Subject: Political neutrality on x residential training course

Dear Organisation

I would like reassurance that the residential training course will be politically neutral and that the trainer will not order us to state our pronouns, being a tool of political lobby groups with “extreme political stances” and not a benign act. I have never misgendered anyone in my life, including trans people and pronouns don't naturally even come up in normal conversation between people. Forcing this creates a hostile environment for women.

Regards
X

What are your pre-emptive emails?

I'm sure FWRs can massively improve on this...

"Obviously when you're talking to me you'll use my name. When you're talking about me, it's really not my business to police your language."

I’m already on the naughty list for asking hard questions, so I’d have to tread carefully but what I’d want to say is: “would you ask me to disclose a disability or my sexuality in a public forum like this? Why are you asking people to disclose their protected trans status in this way? I’ll pass.”

“I literally don’t care”

"I don't have a preference" is easy to say and implies you understand the issue and have formed an opinion, unlike "I don't mind" or "I don't care" which sound like you don't realise some people take it very seriously. Definitely don't say "It doesn't matter" as it might be interpreted as you brushing off the whole issue, unless you want to get people's backs up.

Although I'm inspired by a PP to say *she and him" and see if anyone remembers to use "him".

And can we please put an end to the fallacy that third person pronouns are only used when the person isn't present? There are lots of instances where they are used when you're present, especially in group situations.

It

As in 'it likes biscuits with its tea'

I'd need to pick my eyeballs up first, there's only so much rolling they can take!

I'm unlikely to be asked, fortunately, but I have at least two responses ready.

1. "Why do you need to know?" If it occurs to my interlocutor to admit that it's a proxy for "gender identity", I don't have one so the question is moot and I needn't answer.
2. "Do people have pronouns? I mean, languages have pronouns, but do individuals possess pronouns?" I could bore on about pronouns in languages with which I am more or less familiar.

'You could also just say "second person singular, thanks!" with a breezy smile and leave them to admit they don't actually understand how pronouns work..'

LOVE this I would guess that most of the woke brigade couldn't even have told you what a pronoun was a year ago! It's such fucking nonsense, and I hope it's the latest trendy empty-headed thing that will fizzle out soon enough. Some great suggestions on here

I would say
Why do you need to know? And let them explain why you need to tell them.