Any GC feminists with autism?

Hello. I haven't RTFT but I'm a gender critical autistic woman. We have a Facebook group and everything.

There is a huge overlap between autism and trans identity so I think if anything the correlation is the other way round.

Meeee.
Its not easy as most autistic spaces are really really sucked in by the gender movement and are massively woke.
I think theres a pushback though.

I think autistic people dont experience gender in the same way as NTs often do.
So much of our identity and social selves are acting and masking anyway. Gender is yet another performance

GC and autistic. I find it very difficult that people conflate sex and gender. They are two very distinct things. I can't see how there's any cross over.

GC and autistic.

I tend to stay away from autism 'communities' because, in my experience, they tend to be dominated by the self-diagnosed and parents of autistic children.

@GCandautistic

Thank you for sharing your experience on this thread. I was told I was probably autistic about the time my son received his diagnosis over 25 years ago. I refused the 'label' figuring that I had made it so far, and since my DS had it worse, I would be silly to think I had the right to say it affected me.

As I said before, I am nearing 60 and exhausted. It was interesting when I got my testing. One test they gave me was vocabulary. 'Bring it on' says I, I have a huge one. Then they hit me. With words that were perfectly english, no jargon or scientific stuff, but that I literally could not read, parse or pronounce. And that's when it hit me. I had memorized literally everything at some past point. That was the reason I had to drop out of IT training, because a ARM looked like a RAM and neither meant anything unless I forced myself to discern them every time.

Much of my casual social interaction is a series of reflexes and I am having problems with this coping device as I age and the sheer memory and energy that used to underpin it fades away. I am lucky to have some long time friends, and new friends that have looked past my oddness to get to know me better.

I am pursuing a diagnosis so that I can make this official and seek assistance for the problems related to my autism, etc so it can finally be addressed in situations where there is need for it.

I find it interesting that this behaviour 'take over and ruin the space' has a connection with self identification of the opposite 'gender' who also have a knack of 'taking over'.

It's a contradiction that people are gender critical yet 'self identify' to a medical, neurological condition.

I haven't seen that much. Spaces that are explicitly both GC and autistic tend to be occupied by diagnosed autistics and some who suspect but are uncomfortable declaring it as a fact without an official diagnosis. Personally I didn't feel entitled to join autistic spaces without a diagnosis.

Haven’t been diagnosed but suspect that I am. DD is going to have autism diagnoses explored shortly.

I don’t believe in gender ideology and DD has been sucked into it.

Thanks for the reminder FindTheTruth.

Women and girls need better approaches to Autism so I hope PPs feedback to the Government consultation on women's health
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4247304-Government-Consultation-on-Womens-Health

I am 'gender critical' and on the autism spectrum. I was formally diagnosed as an adult (36) although my suspicions started in my twenties and kept growing. I felt reluctant to join autistic groups without a diagnosis, although now I'm even more reluctant to join autistic groups because they seem full of gender woo and non-binary types.

I think if I was growing up today, I would also have jumped on the gender woo bandwagon as well. I really felt alienated from others as a child and teen. I struggled with the gender norms and hated how much freedom and leniency boys had compared to girls. Growing up in a South Asian culture it was obvious men held all the power and perks while women had the home and motherhood to look forward to. I knew I never wanted children and motherhood wasn't for me. I haven't changed my mind since. I hated womanhood because it was associated with weakness and all the restrictions that come with being an Indian woman. I think I would have jumped at the idea that I could 'turn into a man' and escape the social and cultural expectations imposed on me.

I've always felt like a failed woman. And it didn't help that my mother kept saying so as well. Kept saying I was abnormal because I hated playing with dolls or having long hair or wearing frilly dresses. It is hard to explain, but I would have described myself as a man trapped in a woman's body. I really didn't relate to many of the women I came across and still don't.

Luckily I did not come across gender woo and as I turned into an adult I thought to myself "I don't care if others think of me as a failed woman - I won't let them define womanhood for me." And then lived my life with zero fucks given.

I also think there's quite a gulf between 'self suspecting' people who have traits of autism but for various reasons haven't been able to access the diagnostic service - and self-ID 'autistics' who don't want to be assessed, don't display autistic traits but want a free pass for behaving quirkily/badly, and like to collect labels like pokémon. As a diagnosed autistic I'm 100% happy to have the former group in autistic spaces. The latter take over and ruin the space.

I find it interesting that this behaviour 'take over and ruin the space' has a connection with self identification of the opposite 'gender' who also have a knack of 'taking over'.

It's a contradiction that people are gender critical yet 'self identify' to a medical, neurological condition.

The rules apply across the board, or not at all.

Check out Gender Critical Autistics on facebook, there are quite a few of us.

For me, it's the language. I just can't say 'she' for a man. I know I'm required by the forum rules to do so, so I can't talk about individuals here as I cannot do the pronouns. It is not truthful and I don't think non-autistic people really understand the depth of our need to tell the truth.

I also think there's quite a gulf between 'self suspecting' people who have traits of autism but for various reasons haven't been able to access the diagnostic service - and self-ID 'autistics' who don't want to be assessed, don't display autistic traits but want a free pass for behaving quirkily/badly, and like to collect labels like pokémon. As a diagnosed autistic I'm 100% happy to have the former group in autistic spaces. The latter take over and ruin the space.

I'm awaiting diagnosis too. I'm in my 40s. I can't deal with lies and gender ideology is blatant nonsense so my brain can't deal with it. At a local event a couple of years ago there was a TW manning one of the stalls. Although dressed very femininely my eyes locked onto the broad shoulders, male legs and hips, and large hands and to my brain all these things added up to a visual lie. People can dress however they like but my brain won't be fooled into accepting an untruth.

@Springchickpea

Oh, absolutely a whole generation of women were missed and it makes me so angry! It's just another example of women being overlooked and minimised.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my early 50's. I'd begged asked various GP's to refer me, they more or less told me to fuck off with sexist comments like 'you're married, you have a job, you can't be autistic' AND 'go on a shopping spree, then you'll feel better' AND 'you're just hormonal'.

Fortunately, a consultant I saw for something unrelated told my GP to refer me, but by then I'd waited long enough and I needed answers so I paid for a private assessment while waiting on the NHS list for around 18 months. I had to stay on the NHS list in order to receive 'after care' from the NHS.

@GCandautistic

Why I have been accused of being rude, inappropriate and excessively blunt without being able to understand why. Why people often laugh at what I say when I haven’t even tried to be funny (someone suggested I should be a stand-up comedian once - the absolute worst job for me!).

I've had the same said to me more times than I can remember about being blunt, rude, inappropriate, hilariously funny and being a comedian.

I don't set out to be funny, blunt, rude etc. I just am and tied myself up in knots for decades as to why. Now though, I don't care. It's who I am and my diagnosis gave me permission to accept my differences.

I remember walking out of the building for the final time having undergone the whole assessment process and getting the verbal diagnosis (the multiple page report followed a couple of weeks later) and saying to my DH in a very loud voice - 'bye bye mask. The real me is here from now on'. Removal of the mask was a step towards acceptance and it allowed me to observe my thoughts and my behaviour.

If you haven't done so already, watch Hannah Gadsby, autistic stand up comedian. She said the day she got her diagnosis was like 'getting the keys to the city of me'.

@Clarice99 I think it’s really complex though isn’t it?! There is a whole generation of women who were missed. If I look at my life through an autism ‘lens’ a lot of it makes a lot more sense. It wasn’t even anything I had considered before my child was diagnosed. It allows me to understand myself a lot more than I ever did before.

BUT I do function remarkably well. I’m probably considered a ‘high flyer’ and am highly educated, with a pretty good career. Perhaps I would have achieved more career-wise had I had a diagnosis, and perhaps I would have understood my tendency to make quite strong friendship bonds in the ‘here and now’ only to have very little interest in maintaining those friendships in later life. I am prone to burning bridges, and the reality of my career is that I’m self aware enough to jump ship just before it all crashes down.

I still am mystified by women in groups, hate ‘girls night’ never understood the desire to spend 3 hours getting ready as part of the going out experience.

But then I look at my sister and I don’t think she has functioned in the same way; her life is fine but nowhere near reaching her potential. A stack of poor decisions leading to an overall picture. And I would say as a person she is only ‘borderline’ mentally stable.

And my dad: doesn’t function. Plain and simple. Is so rigid in his thoughts and has absolutely zero ability to tell whether people are interested in what he says or not. Our family life was pretty stable because he was my mum’s carer. But god, if we had to rely on his ability to function in the world of work? Impossible. He couldn’t have done it. And yet I don’t think he knows/realises that however obvious it is to me. He’s the perennial ‘wayward son’, the disappointment to his parents, the classic damaged soul. But I don’t think they ever understood that it was ‘can’t’ rather than ‘won’t’ where dad is concerned.

She likened it to thinking you’re a duck but you’re actually a frog.

Prefer 'Swans' 🤗. beautiful talented people soaring into the air. so many inspirational women, like Stephanie Davies Arai, making a difference in the world.

I am already starting to be so much kinder to myself now.
If every autistic girl or woman knew, they could do this too and live happy lives, proud of who they are