How to (re)approach Headteacher (re: trans ideology)?

Wow @Helmetbymidnight - talk about emotive twisting!!

And judging by the years of experience on this board, there will be no satisfactory answers.

Gosh you sound very judgemental @Justhadathought. These are teens at senior school. No one is being narcissistic, no one is getting a "head fuck" as you delightfully call it, everyone is just respecting the fact that a boy has taken on a girls name and female pronouns. It really is just that. This child's behaviour and mental health was dire before the announcement. As I already said, there is no appropriation and girls still have their female only toilets and changing rooms.

She told them "Fred" would now like to be called "Anna", and please refer to Anna as she, her.

At your school, they teach the children that what is in someone's head over-rides everyone else's material reality?

At your school, do they insist on compelling children to lie in general - or is it only concerning sex?

This is much more complicated than it needs to be. All that happened in my child's CATHOLIC school was that the teacher had a quick word with the kids. She told them "Fred" would now like to be called "Anna", and please refer to Anna as she, her. Anna would not be changing in the girls changing rooms, but would instead use the single cubicle toilets. Everyone is fine, no one is confused, and Anna's mental health and behaviour is significantly better. The sports are mixed at their school anyway BTW (unless you are in a special team) so no appropriation. Some kids and teachers in this Catholic school are openly gay and teach tolerance and understanding

Except what you are suggesting as 'non complicated' involves the whole school having to go along with a pretence, and for young, developing minds to be exposed to such a ridiculous head fuck is confusing, and needless.

The child and the family can keep everything non-complicated by not imposing this private matter on everyone else. It is the height of narcissistic indulgence.

This is much more complicated than it needs to be. All that happened in my child's CATHOLIC school was that the teacher had a quick word with the kids. She told them "Fred" would now like to be called "Anna", and please refer to Anna as she, her. Anna would not be changing in the girls changing rooms, but would instead use the single cubicle toilets. Everyone is fine, no one is confused, and Anna's mental health and behaviour is significantly better. The sports are mixed at their school anyway BTW (unless you are in a special team) so no appropriation. Some kids and teachers in this Catholic school are openly gay and teach tolerance and understanding.

Justhadathought

Thanks for the correction, I am too old for this year 5 stuff

Good luck OP you sound absolutely on the right track.

Could you 'lend' the Head your copy of Irreversible Damage? (Buy a copy if you don't own one, could be £10 well worth spending!).

@Justhadathought well said- I agree with all of your posts.

You mentioned social contagion and I agree so much with this.

I would be very concerned about how a 5 year old child knows the word transphobic (particularly as they would have been isolated in lockdown for a long time), where has that come from

It is a year 5 child......about 9/10 years old.

I would be very concerned about how a 5 year old child knows the word transphobic (particularly as they would have been isolated in lockdown for a long time), where has that come from?

Anyway, I'm out. This isn't sensible discourse, I only commented because I felt sorry for the Head Teacher who has to deal with this nonsense

You don't know the head, nor her relationship with parents. It seems that before this incident the head was pretty much oblivious. Being a small, independent school - she had not before been exposed to this sort of circumstance.

I Think you're crossing a line when you start talking about an individual child rather than a concept. This kid has nothing to do with you. Its between the child, its parents and the school

The line has been crossed when letters are sent home to parents telling them about the potential impacts that just one child, in their small school, will have on their whole community.

And the line has most definitely been crossed when other children are having nonsense ideas and unnatural speech impressed upon them on the basis of the indulgence of one child and her family.

what the parents and the child do or say at home is their business. Once it gets imposed upon the whole school, it becomes everyone's business.

Anything more substantial? What policies would you like the school to have re trans kids

The Transgender Trend school pack is most helpful in this regard.

Here you are OP. It's a long read but it shows what happens when an unwell parent decides that her son is "trans" and despite all the evidence that the boy was not, is enabled by numerous professionals who immediately affirmed him as a girl.
It was the school ( and some others) who kept raising concerns about this and in the end the mother lost custody as the judge deemed her forcing this little boy to present as a girl was emotionally abusive. He was very critical of all the professionals who unthinkingly enabled the mother's abuse to continue:

www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/Fam/2016/2430.html

It's called rapid onset gender dysphoria. Ray Blanchard, who published the typology of HSTS and AGP individuals, talks about it at length.

4thwavenow.com/tag/ray-blanchard/

Plus, of course, there are very many parents on this site alone who are concerned about the current social contagion.

It's incredibly important to ascertain how your child's school deals with it.

(Hopefully, by taking the opposite tack to your post, which would apparently seek to minimise it.)

I wouldn't worry too much. Catholic school. They are going to be anti Queer by default, so will reinforce stereotypes until the poor kid leaves and goes to somewhere welcoming I would expect

That's is rather a sweeping and dismissive portrayal. Though not Catholic myself I have taught at numerous catholic schools, and they are simply not as you portray them. There is often a strong community- family type ethos and a celebratory atmosphere.

FFS! I think a headteacher is more than capable of doing their own research on the matter

You have no idea about the school in question, or the headteacher and her relationship with parents. It is clearly a close knit school.

This is not your child and does not even concern your child. I'm going to say the same thing to you that I say to the young children I teach. I would suggest you worry about yourself and your family instead of someone else

This impacts on every child in the school, and especially in such a small school; certainly when the whole school community has to be instructed on how to behave around, and how to think/talk about, the child in question. The OP has every reason for concern.

Well done OP. Respectful discussions about these issues (as modelled earlier on the thread) is the way to go.
It's great that you kept the discussions away from the specific child. In my experience of schools dealing with this issue Heads often get understandably over-invested parents of a specific child pushing them in the direction of Stonewall / Mermaids / Gires etc resulting in the implications for all children being abandoned as well as a vulnerable child being locked into an immediately affirming situation in primary school.

There's an interesting court judgement that demonstrates what can happen to very young children being unthinkingly affirmed by professionals. Off to search for it.

ROGD is not recognized by any major professional association.

[quote DifferentHair]@StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind actually I think throwing about notions of child protection is seems to be the favoured way to derail an argument and force an agenda on this thread.

Anyway, I'm out. This isn't sensible discourse, I only commented because I felt sorry for the Head Teacher who has to deal with this nonsense.

[/quote]
Usually when people want to shove  in a post they are very interested in sensible discourse.

@therestissilence I think you've had a good response from the head- well done for starting the conversation! If you can please do update, would be great to see how you get on

Does she realise that ROGD is a real worry for parents? And children's boundaries being respected? The idea that it doesn't involve all the other parents/children in the school is simply not true.

[quote DifferentHair]@StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind actually I think throwing about notions of child protection is seems to be the favoured way to derail an argument and force an agenda on this thread.

Anyway, I'm out. This isn't sensible discourse, I only commented because I felt sorry for the Head Teacher who has to deal with this nonsense.

[/quote]
How can child protection and safeguarding derail the argument, when it is the argument? 🙄