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Original poster

How to (re)approach Headteacher (re: trans ideology)?

140 replies

therestissilence · 24/05/2021 19:02

Advice needed so that I can act effectively and carefully. Context: small independent primary school, Catholic but not exclusive.

Two years ago, I arranged a meeting with the Head, armed with some TransgenderTrend literature; I wanted to see what her attitudes were towards the trans trend. At the time there were no kids in the school who thought they were trans. As I was telling her what has been going on in many other schools - and in wider society - she looked a little bit like she thought I was crazy, and responded with the (perhaps) naive 'well we won't be having any of that nonsense in this school'. I left her with the literature, nevertheless.

Lo and behold, a year 5 girl has emerged from lockdown (too much time on the internet?) saying she's a boy. She has a new name, has ditched the school uniform (which is very 'gendered' in our school for both the boys and girls) and wears PE kit everyday. Other parents have said their daughters have been distressed because when they 'accidentally' refer to her as 'her', or 'she' , the girl turns on them and calls them transphobic. It must be so confusing for them. I am extremely heartened, however, to hear that the teachers are still referring to the girl correctly - and seem not to be over-indulging her.

However, if the Head starts seeking advice, she could end up getting advice from the wrong people (such as Stonewall, GOD FORBID).

Now that she knows I'm NOT crazy, how might I re-approach her, in order to nudge her in the right and sane direction? I'm asking because I've already raised this once, and don't want to come across as bullish by requesting a second meeting.

Thankfully, my own daughter is in Y1, so will have minimal exposure to the mind-fuckery going on in Y5. However, I think it is a critical time for the school; they are facing their first 'case' and no doubt policies are being formulated as I type.

Advice?

OP posts:
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Justhadathought · 28/05/2021 19:53

spoken about

Justhadathought · 28/05/2021 19:53

You want to ask a headteacher to refuse to accept a 10 year old child for who they are and refuse to respect their identity and support them? Probably causing distress to a child who has done anything wrong and is just being themself? And you think this means you're working in children's best interest?? You're sacrificing the welfare of a child for your own rigid views. Scary that this is going in school communities

Please read the discussion, and then re-engage when you have some semblance of what has been spoke about.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 28/05/2021 18:58

@TRHR

You want to ask a headteacher to refuse to accept a 10 year old child for who they are and refuse to respect their identity and support them? Probably causing distress to a child who has done anything wrong and is just being themself? And you think this means you're working in children's best interest?? You're sacrificing the welfare of a child for your own rigid views. Scary that this is going in school communities.
You've not read the thread have you TRHR Grin
TRHR · 28/05/2021 18:56

You want to ask a headteacher to refuse to accept a 10 year old child for who they are and refuse to respect their identity and support them? Probably causing distress to a child who has done anything wrong and is just being themself? And you think this means you're working in children's best interest?? You're sacrificing the welfare of a child for your own rigid views. Scary that this is going in school communities.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 25/05/2021 19:59

Yes, well done OP!

Hopefully, any potential outbreak will be nipped in the bud.

Original poster
therestissilence · 25/05/2021 19:47

^ What @Fernlake said.

OP posts:
Fernlake · 25/05/2021 19:40

@BilindaB

I hope she does do her own research and finds all the expert medical opinion on trans kids and their needs.
She'll find a court case that calls puberty blockers experimental and that prescribing them to children needs to have court approval. She will find the NHS saying that they don't know what all the side-effects are.

She will find Bath spa University claiming that investigations into de-transitioners was not 'politically correct'.

She will find the Tavistock, their lack of study, and all the damning reports from whistleblowers, asking whether there will be any homosexual youngsters left?

And she will find the massive overrepresentation of autistic children showing up at gender clinics.

There is no part of this, on any level, that makes me not want this woman to do her own research.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 25/05/2021 19:13

@BilindaB

I hope she does do her own research and finds all the expert medical opinion on trans kids and their needs.
If she finds the details of the Keira Bell case she can see for herself the shameful lack of research and the use of 'experimental medicine' (as the High Court called it) on young children. Medicating children too young to give informed consent to life altering treatment has always been considered to be unethical thank heavens.
BilindaB · 25/05/2021 19:06

I hope she does do her own research and finds all the expert medical opinion on trans kids and their needs.

Mumdiva99 · 25/05/2021 19:03

I'd be really interested to read your response in full. (Not in a negative way but as a piece if education). Can you PM it to me as well? Thanks in advance.

Fernlake · 25/05/2021 18:41

@therestissilence

I've sent my response. After thanking her for taking the time to read the material, I touched on (with links, where appropriate, for her reference):
  • the fact that children have been captured by an adult (and primarily male) ideology, and sadly it is girls who are at present disproportionately affected. Autistic girls are overrepresented in those numbers, and girls who are likely to turn out to be lesbians.
  • social contagion and ROGD.

-the enforcing of regressive stereotypes, stereotypes, STEREOTYPES.

-the tragic consequences as revealed by detransitioners.

  • some of the effects of this adult ideology at large in wider society (and sadly, it is women being disproportionately affected), such as males in prisons, sports, women only short-lists, the skewing of female crime statistics, freedom of speech, some notable court cases.
  • the far reaching and intimidating reach of Stonewall and the bad advice it has been found to be giving. The atmosphere of fear around questioning their radical ideology.

-the inherent homophobia (teachers reporting an increase of homophobic language in classrooms, as trans becomes the 'fashion').

-the dodgy 'Stonewall approved' sex education in schools and the (illegal) introduction of mixed-sex toilets which is a massive safeguarding issue.

There is so much more to say. But she's a busy woman!

I provided links so she is free to do her own research (and I think she will), and who knows, she might go a different way. I highly doubt it, though. Once this box has been opened, it's pretty hard to shut it again.

That sounds very comprehensive. And sensible. I can't imagine why you wouldn't get a positive and probably rather grateful, response.

Well done.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 25/05/2021 18:30

@therestissilence I've saved your post as it is so so hopeful and I hope you won't mind but I may use the points you've set out if I need to have the same discussion with my DC's school.

Can I be really cheeky and ask for the links you sent? Would you mind PM'ing me with them? I'm trying to save as much relevant material myself and have loads of Mumsnet threads bookmarked!

Original poster
therestissilence · 25/05/2021 18:20

I've sent my response. After thanking her for taking the time to read the material, I touched on (with links, where appropriate, for her reference):

  • the fact that children have been captured by an adult (and primarily male) ideology, and sadly it is girls who are at present disproportionately affected. Autistic girls are overrepresented in those numbers, and girls who are likely to turn out to be lesbians.
  • social contagion and ROGD.

-the enforcing of regressive stereotypes, stereotypes, STEREOTYPES.

-the tragic consequences as revealed by detransitioners.

  • some of the effects of this adult ideology at large in wider society (and sadly, it is women being disproportionately affected), such as males in prisons, sports, women only short-lists, the skewing of female crime statistics, freedom of speech, some notable court cases.
  • the far reaching and intimidating reach of Stonewall and the bad advice it has been found to be giving. The atmosphere of fear around questioning their radical ideology.

-the inherent homophobia (teachers reporting an increase of homophobic language in classrooms, as trans becomes the 'fashion').

-the dodgy 'Stonewall approved' sex education in schools and the (illegal) introduction of mixed-sex toilets which is a massive safeguarding issue.

There is so much more to say. But she's a busy woman!

I provided links so she is free to do her own research (and I think she will), and who knows, she might go a different way. I highly doubt it, though. Once this box has been opened, it's pretty hard to shut it again.

OP posts:
Original poster
therestissilence · 25/05/2021 17:57

@Justhadathought

Yes, the parents may have something to do with. I learned today from a friend who has a child in Y5, that the girl's big sister (who is in secondary school) is identifying as 'non-binary'. What an unlikely coincidence!

@Mumdiva99

Usually, I'd agree. But the Head knows I've been interested in this subject for at least two years (we had a previous meeting), so in this case, I don't think you are right.

OP posts:
Leafstamp · 25/05/2021 16:46

Just popping on to say I think some clever psychologists (and others) need to do some proper research PDQ on the handling of children saying they are trans.

Because the whole thing feels like a big real life experiment that feels a bit out of control. I really fear for children caught up in this (whether those identifying as trans or their peers).

Justhadathought · 25/05/2021 16:34

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StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 25/05/2021 15:59

[quote therestissilence]@BilindaB

But that paragraph that you have suggested affirms that one can change from one 'gender' to another, whatever on earth that means, considering 'gender' is totally socially constructed anyway. It also reinforces stereotypes. Because Anna likes so-called 'feminine' things it means she must be a girl? How about letting all children know that any girl and any boy can be whoever they want, and express themselves however they want, regardless of their gender?

It's just so regressive.[/quote]
This- entirely!

Justhadathought · 25/05/2021 15:40

Just leave it alone and focus on your own child. You sound as if you have an agenda and wish to push it. Feel sorry for the head

The agenda is being pushed onto the school by the child's parents, not by the OP.

This is an entirely different matter to the school being notified that a child's mother or father has died, for example, and that everyone needs to be a little bit sensitive and aware.

Justhadathought · 25/05/2021 15:37

Gosh you sound very judgemental @Justhadathought. These are teens at senior school

No! these are primary school children, and it is a girl who now wishes to be known and referred to as a boy. too right, I'm judging. this is just an abuse of the other pupils, making such young children have to go along with a pretence, and with the suggestion that this one pupil is brave and special........social contagion is real and lots of young girls get caught up in it.

Cleanandpress · 25/05/2021 15:36

Fascinating.

Fernlake · 25/05/2021 15:36

Calling women nasty and intolerant because they ask questions doesn't cut the mustard.

Squiblet · 25/05/2021 15:32

@Overdueanamechange

This is much more complicated than it needs to be. All that happened in my child's CATHOLIC school was that the teacher had a quick word with the kids. She told them "Fred" would now like to be called "Anna", and please refer to Anna as she, her. Anna would not be changing in the girls changing rooms, but would instead use the single cubicle toilets. Everyone is fine, no one is confused, and Anna's mental health and behaviour is significantly better. The sports are mixed at their school anyway BTW (unless you are in a special team) so no appropriation. Some kids and teachers in this Catholic school are openly gay and teach tolerance and understanding.
That's a lovely, reassuring story - nice to read among the reams of nastiness & intolerance spewed all over this thread. Thanks @overdueanamechange
Cleanandpress · 25/05/2021 14:44

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Mumdiva99 · 25/05/2021 14:37

"She is now asking, out of curiosity, where my interest in this subject has come from."

This is head speak for - please can you tell me if there is a lot of gossip about one child from our school and how this is being received by the parents - as you are the first person to come to me to discuss this. Is this an issue I need to worry about.....

Artichokeleaves · 25/05/2021 14:31

I'm afraid when it comes down to 'you don't understand, you don't need to understand, just do what I tell you to do and shut up, and don't question or you're a bad person', then you're onto a loser really.

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