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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Should Muslim women be forced to give beauty treatments to males?

329 replies

HecatesCatsInFancyHats · 22/05/2021 08:59

"Unisex salon stand by their decision to REJECT a gender-fluid singer from a nail appointment - because they thought they were 'a man' so Muslim beautician objected"

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9601197/Nail-salon-refuse-manicure-gender-fluid-singer-beautician-Muslim.html

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/05/2021 14:26

What if he believes he's female? But he specifically does not! He 'identifies' as 'he/she/them' So who the hell will now which is correct at any given moment?

From the article, the website states that massage appointments are for females only. It does not specify anything about nails. But the speicific woman who would have been dealing with him said no... and has every right to do so! Anyone with an ounce of self awareness would have been annoyed, registered their annoyance and moved on!

It was nails, not life saving surgery, FFS!

WoolOfBat · 22/05/2021 14:26

I am with you completely alfonso. Any man is allowed to say no to touching anyone, man or woman. And to refuse to have sex with them. I cannot believe that this has to be said Confused

toffeebutterpopcorn · 22/05/2021 14:25

I worked as a therapist - so 1-2-1 in a small basement room of a clinic. I had absolute control over who I saw and who I didn’t (this was a while back so I chose not to treat certain areas, not by sex). The rule was - if you felt uneasy, keep the door open or ask for a ‘trainee’ (another therapist or someone from reception) to sit in the room during treatment.

Thankfully I only ever had one man who made me feel uneasy (because he was an absolute story teller extraordinaire and seems to try to shock me, which he didn’t).

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 22/05/2021 14:25

He/she/they sound an utter wanker, imho.

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 22/05/2021 14:24

To clarify: my comment was in response to @ginghamstarfish.

acatcalledjohn · 22/05/2021 14:24

Me me me me me me me me me.

What a monumental should have been wankstain. It's almost always the male bodied people in the trans community who feel like they have the right to demand that females accept them and touch them. Going around demanding bodily autonomy in terms of being their "authentic selves" whilst actively denying women trying to exercise their right to bodily autonomy.

Good old fashioned misogyny at work here.

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 22/05/2021 14:23

I would extend that sentiment to include men having the right to say no, too.

WoolOfBat · 22/05/2021 14:21

Everyone is allowed their own beliefs and to try to live according to them as long as it doesn’t impact too much on others.

A specific Muslim woman wants to wear a burqa and not touch men. I may not find that ideal but ultimately I won’t try to stop her.

A Muslim woman wants me to wear a burqa and not touch men. That is a big problem.

A transgender male believing that they are a woman and dressing like a woman. Not my problem or a Muslim woman’s problem. Go for it!

A transgender male believing that they are a woman and wants to force everyone to treat them as a woman. Especially Muslim women. That is a big problem.

Why do this people always search for women who disagree with them? Why book in a place where “ladies only” was specified? I am sure that there are dozens of places where they could have had nails done, hair cut, balls vaxed, a glass of champagne and lots of libfems saying “go sister”. Why not go there?

ginghamstarfish · 22/05/2021 14:19

Surely ALL women must have to right to refuse to perform intimate services on a male bodied person, Muslim or not. I know I would refuse in that situation. Same as if a customer came in and was abusive/unpleasant/smelly or whatever. Just as a shop can refuse to sell to someone - why should this be any different?

Zinco · 22/05/2021 14:17

This isn't about religion; any beautician should be able to refuse male clients if she wants to. (Or refuse female clients if that's what they want.)

Yeah I already made that point myself. But some people are bringing up the religious freedom angle, and so I responded on that.

Zinco · 22/05/2021 14:13

Quite. The NHS should not employ doctors who refuse abortion care. But what private practices do is different.

I think there needs to be room for moral objections to things like abortion and not forcing doctors/nurses in the NHS to be involved in it.

The biggest issue that I can see is where a GP is refusing to do a referral, as that would have a practical impact on access to services.

But not having to perform abortions, doesn't really have an impact on anyone unless all doctors in the NHS refuse to do it.

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 22/05/2021 14:08

Excellent points, @CharlieParley.

allmywhat · 22/05/2021 14:04

So various interesting questions here about what should/shouldn't be tolerated in the name of religion.

This isn't about religion; any beautician should be able to refuse male clients if she wants to. (Or refuse female clients if that's what they want.)

Zinco · 22/05/2021 14:01

Wasn't that already sorted out in UK law? Bakers can't refuse to sell an off-the-shelf cake for a gay marriage but they can refuse to create a cake with a message they strongly disagree with. Seems entirely reasonable and sensible.

Yes, although it may still be under appeal to the European Court of Human Rights.

Many people may still disagree with the principle whichever way it goes.

I don't know why people keep trying to make this difficult. There aren't that many edge cases

With religious freedom, you get everything from drug use (e.g. peyote used by Native Americans), to people carrying weapons (Sikhs), to bans on the burka.

So various interesting questions here about what should/shouldn't be tolerated in the name of religion.

Imissmoominmama · 22/05/2021 13:58

Andrea sounds like an attention seeking twat who thinks his/her/their rights trump anyone else’s.

The decision was made on the fact that his/her/their voice was clearly that of a male, so nothing whatsoever to do with gender fluidity.

On the subject of gender fluidity- if you can’t make up your own mind, how the fuck do you expect the rest of us to keep up?

Cailleachian · 22/05/2021 13:57

Why do people on Mumsnet continually try to insist that Muslim women must follow the most extreme patriarchal interpretations of Islam?

", she potentially puts herself in danger, as an adulterer in the eyes of an orthodox religion that often doesn't treat females who transgress strict sex segregation rules well."

Da fuck?! What a load of absolute nonsense.

allmywhat · 22/05/2021 13:49

*This is quite different imo from the abortion issue. I don't think people should have to be involved in abortions

Quite. The NHS should not employ doctors who refuse abortion care. But what private practices do is different.

BigFatLiar · 22/05/2021 13:49

They appear to have three sets of services:
Some restricted to ladies
Some restricted to men
Some no restriction stated (which would lead me to believe available for either)

Nail treatment booking does clearly state Ladies though I would think that manicure/pedicure is one of the few treatments some young men would actually want. It may be that the muslim girl is their nail person which is why they have the restriction. This Andrea character is a prat because they should have seen when booking it was for ladies and no doubt there are many alternative places available.

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 22/05/2021 13:48

And on that web site, under "Team" it states "Tala
Beautician. Tala works on female clients, thank you for your understanding."

Tala is the only beautician listed.

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 22/05/2021 13:46

Ah. That's Treatwell rather than the direct site itself. Again, the site refers to "ladies" under the category of "Hands, feet and nail treatments".

allmywhat · 22/05/2021 13:45

But er, what about Christian bakers having to bake cakes for a gay marriage? Or having to create a cake with a message that they strongly disagree with?

Wasn't that already sorted out in UK law? Bakers can't refuse to sell an off-the-shelf cake for a gay marriage but they can refuse to create a cake with a message they strongly disagree with. Seems entirely reasonable and sensible.

I don't know why people keep trying to make this difficult. There aren't that many edge cases, and a beautician who doesn't want to work with male clients is not an edge case, it's her absolute right to refuse.

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 22/05/2021 13:45

[quote andyoldlabour]I think they must have two websites saying different things, very strange.

"There’s also a menu of beauty treatments and massages. The salon uses a range of professional products such as Goldwell, John Frieda, Label.m and Lycon. All massage treatments are female only"

style-studio-wimbledon.mytreatwell.co.uk/[/quote]
That's helpful and explains the discrepancies.

Thank you!

CharlieParley · 22/05/2021 13:45

And it very clearly offers massage and wax for men. How can you (general you) say it doesn't?

Does it matter?

Massages are normally provided by a massage therapist who is usually a different person from a beautician.

The only thing that matters here in my view is the manicure part of the service, which on the website is listed as "Ladies" throughout. If you want to book the service, the Treatwell website then specifies this is "Ladies only".

That is entirely consistent. Phoning up to confirm an appointment made through an online booking site is common, although I would assume that the salon here phoned specifically to make sure the client was female as the only beautician available only works on female clients.

The owner further confirms that they have had other enquiries from male individuals seeking to book a manicure and have informed them it's a service offered only to female customers without encountering any issues.

Now I understand that Andrea is annoyed about having an appointment cancelled just an hour before. That is indeed inconvenient, and should have been done earlier. I do wonder if that happened though because it didn't occur to the staff in the salon that this might be a male person until looking at their schedule and seeing the surname was Italian.

toffeebutterpopcorn · 22/05/2021 13:39

No one should be forced to touch another human being.

andyoldlabour · 22/05/2021 13:39

I think they must have two websites saying different things, very strange.

"There’s also a menu of beauty treatments and massages. The salon uses a range of professional products such as Goldwell, John Frieda, Label.m and Lycon. All massage treatments are female only"

style-studio-wimbledon.mytreatwell.co.uk/