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Original poster

Guardian article on the cult of the perfect mother

108 replies

ArabellaScott · 18/05/2021 11:22

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/18/parent-trap-why-the-cult-of-the-perfect-mother-has-to-end?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other&fbclid=IwAR1sWl3_y6uulvXAeX99eVj8jjdnkuM72FWttwZYDrzGQAsciV22oCsuSlk

Quite a long and interesting article. I definitely don't agree with all of it, but increasingly I think the summation of it is entirely true:

'Motherhood is feminism’s unfinished business.'

OP posts:
LibertyMole · 18/05/2021 12:40

Austerity has also had a huge consequence for mothers. There’s an epidemic of DV.

LibertyMole · 18/05/2021 12:38

When I had my kids twenty years ago the shift to nursery care was coming in. There was a lot of debate about what the consequences of nursery care were going to be.

There seem to be data coming out of Sweden saying the children became more socially conforming and had higher cortisol levels. Now it seems we don’t talk about it anymore - it is taboo to discuss the consequences.

And yet we’re all scratching our heads about why gen z are so different and assuming it is due to the internet.

QuentinBunbury · 18/05/2021 12:36

Really interesting, and I entirely agree.

I was nodding at this If anything, feminism’s longevity compounds the problem: the dial hasn’t shifted, but we want to move on. Calls for affordable childcare or flexible working are met with stifled yawns. See that at work all the time. Womens issues are old hat now. It's all about "inclusion".

mollythemeerkat · 18/05/2021 12:36

Thats a fair point @ArabellaScott, the changes which took women into better qualifications and jobs had some minus points too, and I was very lucky in being able to share childcare with a partner with both of us in part time work so we got the best of both. Wonder how affordable that would be now.

Original poster
ArabellaScott · 18/05/2021 12:31

has all this stuff got left behind?

Sometimes I think it's the translation into economic terms that messes things up. Nursery provision in Scotland is about to be enormously expanded, but many early years experts are warning that this could cause issues in the long run, adn many mothers would like to know why they will be paid to leave their children with other women but not paid to look after them.

OP posts:
muffindays · 18/05/2021 12:21

great article, thank you for sharing.

mollythemeerkat · 18/05/2021 12:11

Thanks for sharing. "Half of all mothers in the UK experience a mental health problem before or after birth" - bloody hell, thats dreadful. Old style feminism shouted very loud about maternity leave, financial support, affordable nursery care, job security and decent pay for women etc - has all this stuff got left behind? Also, when I talk to younger friends they speak of how expectation to be the perfect mum and respond to your childs every action and emotion all the time, has become quite oppressive. Is this just a perception or was it a bit more relaxed twenty or thirty years ago?

Niconacotaco · 18/05/2021 11:36

Thanks, I really enjoyed this.