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Original poster

“Giving away” at weddings - anyone done something different?

129 replies

TheThermalStair · 16/05/2021 16:57

Coming under some (kindly meant) pressure to have my dad give me away at my wedding. I won’t be doing that for obvious reasons but I’m trying to think of alternatives - come up the aisle alone? Both parents? Me and DP swing in on trapezes? Just wondering how other feminists have handled it.

OP posts:
TheTeaFairy · 16/05/2021 17:28

My mum and dad walked me down the aisle (not in church - non-religious ceremony) together. It felt fair!

cupofdecaf · 16/05/2021 17:24

My Mum walked me down the isle.

I'm no mans property. I did consider doing it on my own but I figured for one of the biggest moments of my life I'd very much like having my mum there.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 16/05/2021 17:22

I walked myself down the aisle. Not having one man 'give' me to another. Fuck that. Grin

My bridesmaids were either behind or in front of me, and I walked alone.

Periwinkletoes · 16/05/2021 17:19

25 years ago I met DH (to be) at the church door and we walked down the aisle together. This was in rural N.I. so quite unusual. My dad had died a couple of years previously and I didn't feel the need to have an uncle or someone take his place. Our minister was cool with it - he suggested we walk in together unlinked and then walk out arm in arm to show that we were now married. None of the family commented (they probably just rolled their eyes in private at another of my 'fancy feminist notions'!)

nancywhisky · 16/05/2021 17:18

DH and I walked in together.
And that was 25 years ago.

Pinkpaisley · 16/05/2021 17:17

DH and I walked down the aisle together. Equal partners approaching our marriage

Original poster
TheThermalStair · 16/05/2021 17:17

Oh thanks @FluffMagnet I didn’t realise that as it feels all of a piece. Needless to say won’t be having that bit of the ceremony

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtains · 16/05/2021 17:17

When I got married to ExH in a register office I think we just walked in together from the registrar's office.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 16/05/2021 17:16

Registry Office wedding! No bridesmaids, no Best Man, no giving away, just two witnesses and a smallish number of guests. Nearly 40 years later, no regrets.

lakesidelife · 16/05/2021 17:16

DP and I walked in together.
It just made the most sense to us.

Original poster
TheThermalStair · 16/05/2021 17:16

@ThomasPenman

We had our kids 'give us away' We all walked down together and kids were asked by the registrar if they gave their blessing and they all said 'we do'.
This is blooming adorable
OP posts:
ThomasPenman · 16/05/2021 17:14

We had our kids 'give us away'
We all walked down together and kids were asked by the registrar if they gave their blessing and they all said 'we do'.

FluffMagnet · 16/05/2021 17:14

The giving away part is actual a verbal part (who brings this woman ...) rather than the walking down the aisle. So my dad still walked with me down the aisle, which was clearly a highlight of his life if you look at the beaming photos, but then left me with DH just like the bridesmaid, rather than hanging around to "hand me over". I also had the prayers adjusted so there were no references to us having children since I was vehemently against that too.

redcandlelight · 16/05/2021 17:14

and def no give away speech!

TwoBlueFish · 16/05/2021 17:13

Me and DH walked in together (registry office).

redcandlelight · 16/05/2021 17:11

dh and I walked in together.

as much as I love my dad, I'm not his to give away.

Original poster
TheThermalStair · 16/05/2021 17:11

@murbblurb

You go in together, or one waits at the altar and the other does the grand entrance. No one needs 'walking up the aisle' unless you need physical help or are wearing some really bad shoes.
Lol I know, much as I adore my dad I get around without his physical support all the time
OP posts:
Original poster
TheThermalStair · 16/05/2021 17:10

Wondering about us each coming down one side aisle with our parents (are they called aisles? Side bits in a church) and then meeting in the middle

OP posts:
murbblurb · 16/05/2021 17:10

You go in together, or one waits at the altar and the other does the grand entrance. No one needs 'walking up the aisle' unless you need physical help or are wearing some really bad shoes.

Original poster
TheThermalStair · 16/05/2021 17:09

X post, nice to hear people have walked in together! I agree it’s got a lovely symbolism and it seems daft to pretend that our parents are arranging our union Grin

OP posts:
Sleeptillnoon · 16/05/2021 17:09

My husband and I met in a back room just before the ceremony, then walked in and down the aisle together. It was lovely.

I love the previously mentioned idea of each being walked down by both parents.

BloddersMum · 16/05/2021 17:08

DH and I walked down the aisle together with dd.

Seemed appropriate as we already felt like a family.

Original poster
TheThermalStair · 16/05/2021 17:07

I’d like DP and I to walk in together, I think it’d be cool. He isn’t as keen though

OP posts:
MenaiMna · 16/05/2021 17:07

My sister and husband walked in together as they were both 40s and first marriage. That was a small church wedding. It was a nice symbol of "start as you mean to go on".

Novina · 16/05/2021 17:06

Husband and I walked in together. If your dad wants to part of the ceremony, there are plenty of roles available (eg as witness on the marriage cert, etc).