Can you be a true feminist if you...?

[quote Dontknowowt]@Checkingout811 It doesn't make me a better/more important parent than my child's father simply because I gave birth to her![/quote]
It doesn’t make you a better parent. It makes you a mother and definitely a better mother. Mothering is a very important role for society and for women.
Good mothering has a huge impact on the next generation.

@Dontknowowt although I would argue that during birth mothers are more important. For obvious reasons.

@Dontknowowt I didn’t say it made you a better parent than your partner. I asked if you didn’t see any difference in your roles? There is clearly a difference in roles. That cannot be disputed. Physically giving birth is relevant because men cannot do it. Therefore, they have a different role. Not a less important role. A different role.

I think my daughter's birth was probably more stressful for my other half tbf

Seriously?!?

Can I ask again OP since you didn't answer me before - what's your definition of a "true" feminist?

I'm not sure anyone said the mother's role was "better".

Lucky you. I had a 78 hour induction and an infection that possibly caused ds cerebral palsy.

Another good illustration not how our lives are all full of different breaks and choices.

I took at least 8 months for my body to be ok again after giving birth.
If I'd have been due back at work the kids would have come up with a delightful name for my wincy walk and leaky bladder.

I am a SAHM and I am a feminist. I am living my life the way I choose to live it and I don’t see how anyone can judge how I choose to do that.
I spend my time looking after my children. Doing the things I enjoy. Seeing people I enjoy spending time with. Supporting causes that I am passionate about. Fundraising for charities close to my heart.

Surely it is very anti-feminist to judge women for the choices they make?

Excellent posts by @LemonRoses

OP do you honestly not see any difference in a mother’s role to a fathers? Did your husband birth and breastfeed your children?

Also, who decides? It seems that most feminist nowdays are liberal or woke (certainly the young), but on here it's usually radfems.

'True feminism' sounds like something to fail at to be honest. I am sure we go through out lives not always making choices with 'feminism' in mind. It makes it sound like an ideology rather than an aim.

For example, I aim for girls to have equal sporting opportunities with boys. However, some terms I just want to spend time with my family and don't want to run an after school club. I guess that makes me an imperfect feminist. Does it cancel out the previous opportunities I have given with past clubs though?

I think the reality is lives are complicated and messy in general.

I sometimes reflect that working is meant to facilitate the things we want in life, like having a family. It seems odd to me to forego these things in order to work more.

[quote Dontknowowt]@SmokedDuck I still don't see how one parent say on minimum wage can support a family solely with their income alone?[/quote]
Probably what you have is one parent who would make something more than minimum wage, or who holds down two jobs, and a second parent who would make less, and they get by. They probably can't live in certain areas or maybe even certain cities.

If it's one parent only on minimum wage they are likely going to qualify for some kind of help. But it still might not make sense for them to go to two wages while the children are very small.

I’m with you@LemonRosesabout the unique role of mothering distinct from fathering and the fact that it is an undervalued role which makes an important contribution to family and society

What is this unique role? Seriously, I'm a mother- I don't think my role in parenting was any different than my husband's.

[quote OwlSock]@LemonRoses I have liked your thoughts on this thread. I am currently reading Liberating Motherhood by Vanessa Olorenshaw and I am finding it intriguing - you may also enjoy it.[/quote]
Excellent- my turn to choose a book for book club and sounds like that might spark lively discussion. I’ll have a look.

Yes, me too Lemon. I started a thread along the lines of what you've been saying a few years ago, and had some interesting responses.

Are/should male norms be the benchmark for female 'equality'? Should 'femininity' be prized too? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3090897-are-should-male-norms-be-the-benchmark-for-female-equality-should-femininity-be-prized-too

(Sorry if that link doesn't appear.)